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Do you have a chip on your shoulder when meeting a thin woman?

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Old 04-25-2012, 06:14 PM   #1
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Default Do you have a chip on your shoulder when meeting a thin woman?

I kind of asked the reverse question in another thread, as someone who lost weight and now sometimes feels an attitude from other women.

For those of us struggling with weight loss, do you ever project an attitude when being introduced to a thinner woman? I try not to judge others on looks, but I suppose when I was at my high weight I didn't feel very good about myself. Therefore, if I was introduced to a thin and in shape woman, I felt that maybe she was judging me or comparing herself and glad she came out on top.

I knew that this was my projection and I think I always maintained an outer friendliness, but inside I felt jealous/bad about my appearance in comparison and didn't necessarily go out of my way to continue a friendship (although I didn't break off any existing friendships based on weight or insecurities). Perhaps what I was feeling on the inside did register on my face despite my efforts.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:29 PM   #2
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Not really. I think everyone is judgy regardless of size. I try not to be, but it's human nature. My best friend extremely thin and I don't feel in any way threatened or judged by her. Most of my friends are much smaller than I am actually now that I think about it.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:00 PM   #3
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No not having any problem with thin people. Sometime I have a prob with singles just not thinking about family life tho. I have some single friends who forget I cannot be as spontaneous with plans as they can be because I have to organize child care and that means planning much further out.

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Old 04-25-2012, 08:18 PM   #4
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No, not with thin women. Body image just passes me by on them.

I do, however, notice overweight immediately. It's probably the first thing that hits me unfortunately. Whether that's because I am, who knows?
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:23 PM   #5
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I am not overweight anymore but every time I meet a very thin person I feel like they are pitying me or somehow judging my looks, even though it's CLEARLY the opposite.

I have the opposite issue to apostrophe. I am that person who doesn't "get" that you can't just leave 2 year old Junior unattended in the bath with a couple hours' notice.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:36 PM   #6
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I have to say...at first I did when I was younger. I would feel that THEY were judging me because I was bigger than they were. Then it got to be me being jealous lol. And then I would end up catching an attitude.

Then afterwards, when I was college it kind of just didn't ever bother me. I guess it's because I actually became pleased with myself and got major confidence. ****, I'm still confident, but definately want to lose the weight. Now, I just see people as people. Though, I still get jealous when a friend, smaller than me, can wear that cute dress that's not in my size haha.
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Old 04-25-2012, 10:38 PM   #7
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As a thin woman, I think i have a chip on my shoulder when meeting other thin women...with fake boobs. I don't have big boobs. They do and I feel like they cheated.

Maybe the bigger question to ask is, "what is your chip?".

Because I even think about my obese clients who struggle with their weight and I envy their curves probably like they envy whatever they envy about my skinny little arse.

I think it all comes down to wanting what you don't have. I also have straight mousey blonde hair and always wanted curly platnum blonde hair. That's a bit easier to accept - we all know we can't change straight to curly without a perm. Maybe it's all about wanting to change our body type without doing cosmetic surgery.

Surgery costs a ton more and comes with more of a social stigma.

But taking surgery out of it...we all want what we can't have sometimes. The trick is to embrace ourselves as is. Embrace what you alone have.
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Old 04-25-2012, 10:41 PM   #8
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I think women, in general, come at life with all sorts of random assumptions about each other. It's hard to throw that away!!!
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Old 04-25-2012, 10:42 PM   #9
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nope. unless they are *really* thin - like, super skinny - then i just feel terrified to breath on them in case i break them or something.

they are them and i am me. their size has nothing to do with me - it's not like they forcibly donated their body fat to me.

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Old 04-25-2012, 11:06 PM   #10
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No, and I don't have a problem with women who do have a chip on their shoulder towards thin women-but I do have an issue with those who openly project it on thin women-or any one of any type. Some of the women in my fam are like that and they call me names when I get down to average weight. I'm paranoid about getting treated like that again, but I am reminding myself that 1.) I don't live with them, I am living with ME and my body forever 2.) Their problem, not mine. I am going to try to be more open about my lifestyle and more open about how I need them to back off on their comments-if they choose to continue being mean that makes them all the more petty.
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Old 04-25-2012, 11:27 PM   #11
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Absolutely not. When someone has something I want for myself I just give credit where credit is due. I've been on the other side of that far too many times, and I think it's really *edited* crappy and unfair.

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Old 04-26-2012, 10:33 AM   #12
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I never have chips on my shoulder about anything.

If I did, I'm sure I would have eaten them by now.

But seriously, no, I don't do "shoulder chips". I think because of my realization of the separation of self image from body image. I can look in the mirror & not like what I see without internalizing it. Therefore, I can meet a skinny person without comparing myself to them, therefore, no chip.

That's not to say that I don't ever think "Wow, wish I had *her* body!" - because I think it's normal to want what you don't have .... curly hair if your hair is straight, blue eyes if your eyes are brown, big boobs if your boobs are small, to be olive toned if you're milky white, to be tall if you're short, etc. And even still, I don't believe that a person can't be happy with "what they've got" just because they'd like to have something different. I mean, I drive a very nice Mustang convertible and I LOVE IT! - but I sure would love to have a tricked out Jeep, or a Lexus SUV... KnowwhatImean Vern?
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:52 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fitness4life View Post
As a thin woman, I think i have a chip on my shoulder when meeting other thin women...with fake boobs. I don't have big boobs. They do and I feel like they cheated.

Maybe the bigger question to ask is, "what is your chip?".

Because I even think about my obese clients who struggle with their weight and I envy their curves probably like they envy whatever they envy about my skinny little arse.

I think it all comes down to wanting what you don't have. I also have straight mousey blonde hair and always wanted curly platnum blonde hair. That's a bit easier to accept - we all know we can't change straight to curly without a perm. Maybe it's all about wanting to change our body type without doing cosmetic surgery.

Surgery costs a ton more and comes with more of a social stigma.

But taking surgery out of it...we all want what we can't have sometimes. The trick is to embrace ourselves as is. Embrace what you alone have.
I totally agree about the boob jobs! My chest has been shrinking and I feel like the people who have boob jobs have cheated! I know I shouldnt are but I do and I would not spend my money on that!!
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:57 AM   #14
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to look at boob jobs as "cheating", you'd have to apply the same judgement to women who colour their greying hair (or just choose a colour that's more flattering than their natural one); use makeup; and who choose clothing styles and foundation garments to correct an out-of-proportion body.

you have two choices in life: be happy with what you've got or, if you can't be, do something about it. whichever way you choose, though, it's not right to get bent out of shape because someone else made the other choice without considering how you'd personally feel about it.

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Old 04-26-2012, 11:04 AM   #15
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Quote:
to look at boob jobs as "cheating", you'd have to apply the same judgement to women who colour their greying hair (or just choose a colour that's more flattering than their natural one); use makeup; and who choose clothing styles to correct an out-of-proportion body.

you have two choices in life: be happy with what you've got or, if you can't be, do something about it.
I agree!!! - because.... I cheated!!! And I did it ON PURPOSE!

I've NEVER been happy with my itty-bitties. I remember being 18, feeling like a 12 year old. I got so tired of padded bras, & really hated my flat chest. It looked "disproportionate" to my ample butt!!! But I've never had the money to get a boob job. I would have! If I could have afforded it!!!!... Then, when I was 42, I could afford it! So I did. I love them!! They're not "hu-mongo-boobs" & they don't look like little round basketballs ... they're a full C-cup, natural looking and natural feeling! - as opposed to my itty-bitty A-B's I had all my life that felt like two bee stings on my chest... Now my clothes fit better, I don't feel like such "a little girl" anymore, and I enjoy playing with them.

YES I PLAY WITH THEM! They're mine, I can play with'm if I wanna.
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