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Are Heavier People More Friendly and Approachable?

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Old 04-25-2012, 05:54 PM   #1
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Default Are Heavier People More Friendly and Approachable?

I ask because when I was heavy people seemed to be less guarded with me. A lot of times I was invisible and people didn't approach me or talk to me at all - however, those that did approached me as if I were probably a safe and friendly person.


Now that I am getting smaller, I notice that strangers don't always assume I will be friendly. Especially other women. I remember this from my former thin years. Women are more guarded when they meet me, as if they aren't sure if I will have an attitude. Some assume I will have an attitude before they even speak to me and approach me that way. I'm not sure if I have a naturally mean or haughty expression, but I didn't get this response when I was fat. It's been years since I have felt this kind of attitude from others. I don't think I am projecting hostility - I don't feel hostile or angry, so I don't think my face/expression looks like that.

What do you think - do people assume that fat people are jolly and friendly and thin people could go either way? Do any of you who have lost weight get attitudes from people meeting you or interacting with you for the first time?
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:01 PM   #2
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absolutely, big girls are seen as jolly, friendly, approachable, "safe".

thin girls are "on the make".

i've been either way and i've seen the same ppl swing from one attitude to the other as my weight swung up or down.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:01 PM   #3
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People are nicer to me now that I am thinner. Which kind of ticks me off.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:02 PM   #4
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I was bullied over my weight as a kid and for years, carried the assumption that smaller, thinner people were going to automatically judge me just because of my size. The handful of friends I had were also overweight and therefor, "understood" me.

It wasn't until I was older that I understood that someone else's weight doesn't make them the sweetest person alive or a total witch, good and not-so-good people come in all shapes and sizes.

Unfortunately, I still get intimidated quite easily because I'm still so ashamed of my weight . . .
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:05 PM   #5
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There are women that are much friendlier to me now that I have lost some weight - women who never gave me the time of day before. Maybe they feel that because I used to be heavy, I could potentially be heavy again, so I'm not a threat?

I guess I am talking more about people who are seeing you for the first time. They only have seen the thinner you and assume you have an attitude.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:29 PM   #6
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I am not a friendly, approachable heavy person. I actually have worked very hard over the years to be unapproachable (not rude or crabby, just distant) because I didn't want people to get close to me. I was bullied in junior high school by a group of people that I considered to previously be my close circle of friends, I have never fully moved past my distrust of people. At my highest weight, I was friendly enough that people didn't walk away thinking, "wow, what a *****," but I don't think I would have ever been considered overly friendly or bubbly. I really preferred to be invisible. The more weight I lose, the more comfortable I am with myself and and finding that I am becoming more approachable and friendly.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:30 PM   #7
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Hi,
I think it is variable and does relate some to the vibe given off. I try to give off a neutral vibe -I am not big into talking to strangers or being approached.I am not rude but I don't encourage it. I have been both thin and fat and have not seen any difference in relating to people.

Now some of my heavier girlfriends have told me how total strangers would comment on her weight. Well, that has never hapened to me and if it did I would not just take it but would so embarass the person that they would be sorry they ever opened their mouth.

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Old 04-25-2012, 06:31 PM   #8
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It goes both ways. There are rude/bltchy thin and fat people. I have met some very heavy girls who are the nicest people on the planet and I have met some extremely mean ones (possibly a defense mechanism?).
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:20 PM   #9
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It all depends I suppose, some people are friendlier while others come across as unapproachable. Still, I feel that overweight people feel the pressure to be "extra" friendly or "extra" nice just to be accepted in a certain group and fit in. People with a normal weight are more likely to just be themselves. Than there's also the fact that overweight women are not viewed as a "threat" by other women.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:32 PM   #10
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I think first impressions are complicated. I think weight sometimes is part of the first impression but it can work both ways. Some people will be attracted (I mean socially not just sexually though for some people that will be a component as well), some people will be repelled, and some will be indifferent to a person's weight.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:30 PM   #11
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I don't think so. Although the size someone is stands out to me immediately, it's their facial expression that usually will draw me in or push me away.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:39 PM   #12
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Total strangers are friendlier to me now than when I was larger. I notice people smile more, hold doors open and say hello more often. I was a very friendly and outgoing person at my highest weight so I don't think it's an issue of more confidence or a vibe I'm putting out.

It's hard to believe, but I often felt invisible at 272.
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Old 04-25-2012, 08:41 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elladorine View Post
I was bullied over my weight as a kid and for years, carried the assumption that smaller, thinner people were going to automatically judge me just because of my size. The handful of friends I had were also overweight and therefor, "understood" me.

It wasn't until I was older that I understood that someone else's weight doesn't make them the sweetest person alive or a total witch, good and not-so-good people come in all shapes and sizes.

Unfortunately, I still get intimidated quite easily because I'm still so ashamed of my weight . . .


Ella, you have nothing to be ashamed of!
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Old 04-26-2012, 02:42 AM   #14
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Whatever happened to "Don't judge a book by its cover"?
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:00 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by toobig View Post
People are nicer to me now that I am thinner. Which kind of ticks me off.
Me too. People are so strange.
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