I became overweight in my mid 30s. Before I became overweight I received attention from men all the time. I was married, always wore my wedding band, and not looking for attention, but still I received my fair share of flirting, compliments, men waiting to hold the door for me, making lingering eye contact (or his eyes lingering lower!). Nothing over the top, because I didn't engage in banter or invite flirting, but just the little every day interactions that I took for granted.
How do I know those interactions weren't all in my head? Because when I became obese, no man ever looked my way. I could be walking right behind a man as he went through a door to a shop and he would let it slam in my face before he would stop his forward progress and hold the door open for me. If a man was walking behind me as I approached a door, instead of him rushing forward a bit so that he could take the door from me and hold it open even if I was already partially through, he would make no effort and I might even end up holding the door for him! Men no longer met my eyes or anything else - mainly looked at a spot beyond me or at the ground when speaking. Compliments were a thing of the past, of course. In short, I became invisible. I became invisible to women too (in terms of approaching me to be friends) but that's a whole different subject.
Anyway, I am not at my goal weight, but I have lost enough weight to alter my appearance and no longer look obese. While I have received many compliments from family and friends, I still remain invisible to men. I have read many posts on here where women discuss keeping on weight as a protection from attention from men. Some women say that any time they get to a normal weight, all the attention they receive makes them want to put the weight back on again as a security blanket. I have noticed that I am still invisible to men.
I am writing this as an observation, not because I am seeking out men - I am married and my husband gives me plenty of attention . It's just that the last time I was at this weight (around age 34), I was flirted with (what I now recognize as flirting or extra consideration), and now at 42 at the same weight I am still as invisible to men as when I was obese. I think the answer is that I am older. So, even if I get to the same weights as I was in my teens or 20s or early 30s, I look like an older woman and will never receive the same kind of attention from men again.
Weight and Age - the ultimate invisibility shields!