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Am I right to be angry at my doctor??

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Old 04-16-2012, 01:48 PM   #1
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Default Am I right to be angry at my doctor??

This has been posted on Yahoo Answers. I'm on fire because I was very upset about what happened today. I just need somewhere to rant so I'm all over the place! This long message may contain a lot of grammatical, and perhaps may even spelling errors, but I was just typing fast out of frustration. I took a day off to go to the doctors, hoping to get answers about my PCOS (I know I have it). I also have a permit application that he had to fill out. Here's a quote:

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I just want to ask because I came to the doctor's today and I'm very, very sure that I have this syndrome (all symptoms apply and I was even told by my health teacher who was a nurse that I may have it because of one GLARING physical symptom that I have and my irregular periods). I only came in to ask about it and perhaps be put on medication. If he would've just said that I don't need it and I shouldn't be concern, I would've been more satisfied.

He instead raised his tone and talked to my grandma and mom as if I'm a child and that I don't know what I'm talking about. He improperly tested my blood pressure because I felt zero pressure around my arms. Last time when I came in, my blood pressure is normal and I was 40lbs heavier. Now all of a sudden, it's high? I think he was trying to prove a point that I'm wrong about my affliction because "all it is, is morbid obesity". I assure that that he improperly tested my blood pressure because I didn't feel ANY pressure around my arms!!

I lost my cool, but never once insulted him or was being physically threatening. I just told him repeatedly that I'm right and turned to my mom and said that I'm right about it and that I guarantee it. I said that my health is first and that all I wanted was some help.

I honestly believe that he may be embarrassed that he doesn't know what the syndrome I came in with is about. I wrote it down on a paper. That's why he reacted the way he did. I don't think he even knows what he's talking about. Everything that I ever request is denied by him in several different occasions:

I wanted med for my anxiety and he turned it down because it's "normal". When I went online, anxiety meds are supposedly the easiest form of medication you can get from a doctor if you tell him that you have anxieties. I have horrible, debilitated anxiety problems and I wanted help because I had to perform a huge play. I was instead denied without real reason.

I wanted to have my keloids removed and he always changed the subject. I decided not to bring it up anymore.

I wanted to get on a weight loss med that can help me assist my weight loss journey, and he turned it down. I never come out of his office satisfied or with answers that are helpful!!

He said that his purpose of a doctor is useless because I rely on things on the internet and that everything online is trivial. I shouldn't self-diagnose myself, he said. I even had to tell him what the suspected syndrome is because he didn't seem to know (but it was written down on paper).

He thought I was 16 when I'm 18 now. He completely dismissed my concerns and raised his tone to me. I equally raised my voice.

Do you think I have a legitimate gripes against him? Should I report him? Yes, I'm very upset about this. I think I'll get over it, but I don't think it's right what happened to me.
I don't know if I'm wrong about the blood pressure test, but I know that normally, you have to feel a lot of pressure around your arm. Last time when I was 37lbs heavier, my blood pressure was 120/90 (not 80). Now it's "high" according to him, but he didn't even tell us the numbers.

Also, he just kept going on and on about my morbid obesity. I said YES, PCOS can also be caused my morbid obesity. He didn't seem to get it so I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what PCOS is. He's an old, Asian doctor who barely speaks English. I have horrible experiences with foreign doctors. I need an American (not suggesting that non-Americans are bad, but the 2 that I've gone to is horrible... I swear that I'm shy and very soft-spoken so I don't give people a hard time. Today just rubbed me the wrong way, so I made a little scene at the office (never once insulted him or being physically threatening!).

I also specifically said I wanted Metformin and he said that's only for people with diabetes. I know for a fact that people have been put on Metformin because of insulin resistance, which is what I have (which is also why I have acanthosis nigrican!).

Last edited by misski : 04-16-2012 at 01:57 PM.
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:57 PM   #2
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I would be extremely ticked off. Its your doctors job to investigate any problems you might be having and not just dismiss them. I would start going to someone else. Is there another doctor at the same facility you could try? It sounds like this doc is just frustrated b/c ppl keep coming in trying to diagnos themselves on the internet...but that's something doctors just have to deal with. Their job is to determine if something is really wrong -whether it be the illness they think they have or not. Something could still be wrong.

You shouldn't have to do this, but if u choose to stay with your doctor maybe try approaching it differently. Tell him your symptoms first and dont suggest what could be wrong with you. Maybe if he tries to diagnose you before you tell him what you think it is he'd be more open to figuring it out - altho it sounds like he just wants to blame everything on your weight. But like I said, you really shouldn't have to do this. If I were you I would have switched doctors a long time ago.
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:59 PM   #3
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We all have bad days, even doctors....but if you are never happy with your interactions with your doc, you should really find someone else to go to. Sounds like you've tried...time to move on to someone who will show you some respect and address your concerns.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:12 PM   #4
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DEEP BREATH....I know from my own personal story how frustrating it can be to not have a physician listen to you when you know something isn't right.

Remember, physician's PRACTICE meeting. They are practicing....applying their knowledge and their medical philosophy to each patient. Some docs routinely dispense meds...others will refuse to dispense the same meds. What one doc says is PCOS, another doc may not.

The bottom line is that you deserve a practitioner that listens to you and respects your opinion- even if he/she doesn't agree. I had a doctor who everyone else claimed was brilliant but was HORRIBLE to me. I switched (everyone thought I was crazy) but I knew he wasn't right for me. Keep looking and get a second opinion. Even if you are right/wrong, you deserve to be respected!!!
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:20 PM   #5
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i remember going to an east indian doctor. he barely looked at me when i walked in for the first time and asked "so why are we here today?" (kind of giving the impression that i'm there wasting his precious time AGAIN!??? when it was a first visit).

i said "i have an ear infection."

he stiffened right up and said haughtily "i'll be the judge of that!"

and i let him have it with both barrels: "i have lived my life with hare lip and cleft palate and don't you DARE tell me i don't know when i've got otitis media!"

he kept opening his mouth but i wouldn't shut up - i was SO sick to death of being treated like a brainless slab of meat by doctors.

after he apologized, we got along great.

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Old 04-16-2012, 02:23 PM   #6
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Looks like a lot of people on Yahoo answers took the side of the doctor.

I understand that there are a lot of people who mistreat others and their doctors, and get upset when they don't get the medication that they desire.

But I'm such a soft-spoken person that people often take advantage of me. It was just this time, it pissed me off so much that I raised my voice. He was being so rude and dismissive that I blew up.

I honestly didn't need the medication. I wanted a real test done. I ASKED for it, but apparently he doesn't do tests.

There are so many misdiagnosis in the world and the consequences are often death. The doctor said point-blank that I don't have PCOS, but he literally didn't know how to pronounce it (which I had to for him).

I asked him over and over again how does he even know, but he couldn't tell me. I can guarantee you that he doesn't know what PCOS is. I can bet my life on it! He said I need a second opinion from a Children's Hospital.

Gosh, I'm so fired up... I'm just angered with the fact that this man, just because he has a medical degree from Vietnam, it allows him to mistreat and give him the pass to be right all the time. Judging by so many people online, it looks like people are willing to accept a doctor's opinion regardless. Medical degree doesn't equate to being right all the time, especially from a man who has no idea what PCOS is.

I read online a lot on how people often self-diagnose themselves. Yes, we're not medical doctors, but we know about ourselves. We know about the symptoms. Does it hurt to do research and inquire about it?

Dammit... End of rant. I'm so angry, I haven't even eaten yet.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:26 PM   #7
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On one hand, I do feel that if you're not feeling like your concerns are being taken seriously then you should of course seek another doctor to go to. If you believe you have PCOS and are resistant to insulin (this can actually be tested for because I know someone who went through the necessary blood work) then you should seek the help of an endocrinologist. I'm assuming your doctor may not be well-versed in PCOS & IR because he is a general practice doctor and not a specialist.

If your anxiety is that bad then perhaps you should seek help from a psychiatrist, who again specializes in those problems. General practice doctors are usually reluctant (an rightfully so) to immediately prescribe medications (especially to minors which I'm assuming you were at the time you asked for it).

My friend was diagnosed with PCOS not by her primary doctor, but by her gynecologist who took the time to do an ultrasound and actually saw the cysts and also took her symptoms into account. He then referred her to an endocrinologist. I believe these types of doctors are more helpful in cases such as yours.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:35 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by VirgoChic View Post
On one hand, I do feel that if you're not feeling like your concerns are being taken seriously then you should of course seek another doctor to go to. If you believe you have PCOS and are resistant to insulin (this can actually be tested for because I know someone who went through the necessary blood work) then you should seek the help of an endocrinologist. I'm assuming your doctor may not be well-versed in PCOS & IR because he is a general practice doctor and not a specialist.

If your anxiety is that bad then perhaps you should seek help from a psychiatrist, who again specializes in those problems. General practice doctors are usually reluctant (an rightfully so) to immediately prescribe medications (especially to minors which I'm assuming you were at the time you asked for it).

My friend was diagnosed with PCOS not by her primary doctor, but by her gynecologist who took the time to do an ultrasound and actually saw the cysts and also took her symptoms into account. He then referred her to an endocrinologist. I believe these types of doctors are more helpful in cases such as yours.
That's what I asked for. I wanted a test. If he isn't familiar with PCOS, he should've been honest and say that I need to refer to a specialist. He shouldn't have said that I don't have it when he's not even sure what it is.

I'm over it, already, though. I seriously always have bad experiences with doctors. This is why I tend to self-diagnose myself and I always try to "treat it" myself because I don't trust doctors at all. I don't go to the doctors very often, unless if I needed something to be filled out for school.

The internet helps with ranting. Thanks everyone. I'm moving on and finding a new and more helpful doctor who I can trust.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:37 PM   #9
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misski - i really can't blame you for blowing up and i totally get that all you wanted to be tested to find out what's wrong with you whether it be PCOS or something else. I really feel its a doctors job to do SOMETHING before just saying "no you're wrong. you're fine." If you're like me, you know when something is wrong!

This is a little different but I went to a doc thinking I had a UTI. This might be TMI but, the only thing wrong with me is that my urine smelled funny. My doctor could have very easily dismissed me and thought I was being ridiculous for coming in because it smelled funny, but he took me seriously and tested my urine. It came back clean. He said he'd send in for lab work just to be sure. A few days later I got a call saying that I DID have a UTI and that I needed to get on antibiotics! Had he dismissed me when my only symptom was a funny smell, I would have just gotten even worse and been knocking at his door again.

Point is, at least get a second opinion. Even if you don't want to switch your doc I wouldn't just take his word for it and move on since he did nothing to check. Maybe even ask for a referral to a specialist - not sure he'd do it tho. I just wouldn't give up finding a doc to take you seriously and be sure that nothing is wrong.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:37 PM   #10
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I don't know you or the Doctor in question, but it seems you are telling him what is wrong when it should be the other way around. From what you are saying he probably thought you were being rude. If it were me I would find another Doctor give him my symptoms and let him diagnose it.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:42 PM   #11
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I don't know you or the Doctor in question, but it seems you are telling him what is wrong when it should be the other way around. From what you are saying he probably thought you were being rude. If it were me I would find another Doctor give him my symptoms and let him diagnose it.
I swear to you that I wasn't being rude. I went in, all smiles and sweet. He threw the index card down and dismissed me for being naive (trusting the internet) and writing nonsense. I laughed at first until he wouldn't stop with the insults.

I'm so shy that I literally wrote it down on a card for him to read. That's how bad my anxiety is. Anger seems to alleviate my anxieties, but I don't want to be angry all the time...
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misski - i really can't blame you for blowing up and i totally get that all you wanted to be tested to find out what's wrong with you whether it be PCOS or something else. I really feel its a doctors job to do SOMETHING before just saying "no you're wrong. you're fine." If you're like me, you know when something is wrong!

This is a little different but I went to a doc thinking I had a UTI. This might be TMI but, the only thing wrong with me is that my urine smelled funny. My doctor could have very easily dismissed me and thought I was being ridiculous for coming in because it smelled funny, but he took me seriously and tested my urine. It came back clean. He said he'd send in for lab work just to be sure. A few days later I got a call saying that I DID have a UTI and that I needed to get on antibiotics! Had he dismissed me when my only symptom was a funny smell, I would have just gotten even worse and been knocking at his door again.

Point is, at least get a second opinion. Even if you don't want to switch your doc I wouldn't just take his word for it and move on since he did nothing to check. Maybe even ask for a referral to a specialist - not sure he'd do it tho. I just wouldn't give up finding a doc to take you seriously and be sure that nothing is wrong.
Wow, I wish I have your doctor. I know there are some good doctors around my area... I just need to find one. Thanks for understanding

Last edited by misski : 04-16-2012 at 02:46 PM.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:45 PM   #12
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I sure would be mad! You are not a kiddie -- you are a young woman. Teen, fine. But OLDER teen and it is like he talked right over your head to your relatives!

Have you read the inciid faq? Start there.

http://www.inciid.org/faq.php?cat=infertility101&id=2

Esp the labs area.

Have Mom look into it too. If you can get mom on board maybe she can help find a better doc! Could a female doc be better? And what is this type? Family practice? I love my family practice -- she's my age and awesome. Even if she doesn't know she's willing to help find out. I like, but seem to have run out on my endoc's expertise level. But she too is willing to try. Maybe a female doc would listen better?

Don't go to pediatric. I know you can go til 21, but don't go there, and don't go to family practice. Unless what you need is a referral first with your insurance. I'd be looking at an endoc or a reproductive endoc to check out the hormone probs. OB/GYN isn't the right one either. I know it is CALLED polycycstic ovarians syndrome, but that's just one symtom. It is an endocrine disorder. So get to the endocs. And I'd move it NOW while still covered under parents at 18. Because part of my long wait was once I hit college I aged out of my parent's health coverage and was too student broke to get my own yet.

He's poo-pooing you without even bothering to run tests. That's just unbelievable. Even if he does not think the reason is PCOS, your having missing periods indicates something wonky with the period hormones. Duh. So at least test the hormones, right? The reason the hormones are weird could be thyroid or something other than PCOS but at least TEST!

If you can borrow "It's my Ovaries, Stupid" and "The Savvy Woman's Guide to PCOS" by Elizabeth Vliet from the library, I'd hit that next. Sometimes high testosterone/androgens causes the anxiety thing. ( I know it well -- that's part of my case. Ditto weight. I'm one of the PCOS/IR/Syndrome X types. Do you know we come in at least 5 presentations? )

Hang in there. I endured a long doctor parade too before I got the dx. On the bright side, you are a young womand NOW. This guys sounds clueless but many others are not. And hopefully you will get to a better doc sooner than I did. I had to wait 10 years even though I knew I was wonky at 16!



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Old 04-16-2012, 02:49 PM   #13
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I sure would be mad! You are not a kiddie -- you are a young woman. Teen, fine. But OLDER teen and it is like he talked right over your head to your relatives!

Have you read the inciid faq? Start there.

http://www.inciid.org/faq.php?cat=infertility101&id=2

Esp the labs area.

Have Mom look into it too. If you can get mom on board maybe she can help find a better doc!

He's poo-pooing you without even bothering to run tests. That's just unbelievable.

If you can borrow "It's my Ovaries, Stupid" and "The Savvy Woman's Guide to PCOS" by Elizabeth Vliet from the library, I'd hit that next. Sometimes high testosterone/androgens causes the anxiety thing. ( I know it well -- that's part of my case. Ditto weight. I'm one of the PCOS/IR/Syndrome X types. Do you know we come in at least 5 presentations? )

Hang in there. I endured a long doctor parade too before I got the dx. On the bright side, you are a young womand NOW. This guys sounds clueless but many others are not. And hopefully you will get to a better doc sooner than I did. I had to wait 10 years even though I knew I was wonky at 16!



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Thank you SO much. Made me feel so much better. Thanks a lot. I need to eat something now. Lol! I'm not angry anymore... Well, I still am, but I'm fine now. I'll research on a new doctor. I want a female doctor this time since I'm more comfortable with women.
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Old 04-16-2012, 03:04 PM   #14
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I'd say go to a different Doctor. I understand it's frustrating to be treated like that, but I can also kinda see the Doctor's point of view. They see streams of people self diagnosing day after day and most of the time they don't have the illness they think they do. Hey I was one of them.. I thought I had a thyroid condition, I had all of the symptoms (including family history) and it would have explained a previous medical problem I had. I was convinced I had it and I thought my Doctor was really rude to me for no reason. Well I didn't have it. Y'know if you look at the symptoms for any disease you're likely to have at least a few of the symptoms, and if you haven't written down your symptoms before hand you're more likely to look at other symptoms and feel "oh yeah I have that". Also there's a lot of misinformation on the internet and each illness people have don't follow the same pattern which is why it's hard to diagnose diseases. Especially if you're just using a list of symptoms on the internet.

I'd still definitely get it checked out by another Doctor though.. could it be something else?

Good luck and hope you feel better!
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:05 PM   #15
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Soloution: Change doctors...and call him a doorknob without a knob
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