3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > General chatter

General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

Bridesmaids dilemna

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-16-2012, 08:25 AM   #1
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default Bridesmaids dilemna

So I'm getting married next september and I had my wedding party all set. My best friend as man of honor, my other best friend as maid of honor and another friend as Matron of honor. Well first my maid of honor is kinda psycho and my fiance has been telling me for months she's not a very nice person, but I didn't listen.First she decided that she would not come to my wedding if I invited one of my other bridesmaids because they had a falling out, which really I don't think is fair, a best friend would not refuse to go to your wedding because she doesn't like one other person. RIght? A few weeks ago my man of honor confronted her and she ended up deleting me on facebook which means we're no longer friends. So one bridesmaid down. Then my matron of honor started talking the maid of honor and eventually I got some very mean texts about what a horrible person I am and though we made up I don't really want her to be my matron of honor anymore. So now i'm down to 2 (possibly 3, but i'm not sure about the third because she is in the army stationed in another state). My fiance has 6 groomsmen and I want to have the same number of bridesmaids for symmetry. It really hurts how my two closest friends were so awful. le sigh.
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 08:34 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
bargoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davis, Ca
Posts: 23,149

S/C/G: 204/114/120

Height: 5'

Default

Do you have sisters or cousins who could take their place ? I ,frankly, think that with friends like this, you don't need enemies.
__________________
Goal 12/21/2007
bargoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 08:51 AM   #3
Senior Member
 
SugarRomeoTango4852's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Northeastern, PA
Posts: 319

S/C/G: 275/249/170

Height: 5'7

Default

I am a little sad. I may not know you at all but if I was in Southern Cali, I woudl come be a bridesmaid for you. It is your day and it isn't fair that your friends are stomping on it for you.

I am sure you have tried this but I would be neglectful if I didnt' suggest it. Have you sat down with both of them and explain how they are making you feel? If they really are your besties, they will understand and respect it. If they don't, they can still be your besties, but gently tell them that you don't need their added stress on what is suposed to be on thee of the best days of your life and you would appreciate their support, but understand if they cannot give it.

I agree with Bargoo, if you have sister's or cousin's (that you are even a tiny bit!) close to you should talk to them if it does not work out with the others.

Let us know how it goes!
__________________



Mini Goals: 4/16/14
Lose 10lbs (249 - 239) - 4.02% Loss
Completed a 5k in 2014
Log Calories/Food for 30 Days
Gym 3 Days a Week for 30 Days
SugarRomeoTango4852 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 08:56 AM   #4
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

I don't have sisters and I'm not really close to my cousins. I've been thinking of asking my fiances sisters, but I'm not super close to them, but closer than to my cousins.
Yeah, everyone says that about my friends. I can never keep a grudge so people tend to be mean since they know they can without repercussions. Plus they tend to take advantage of me, monetarily and emotionally, because I'm too nice and take care of my friends. My fiance's friend asked me tonight how I can have such a kind heart to deal with and help out all of my little wounded bird people. My maid of honor will not talk to me at all and I've made up with the other one, but not enough that I want her in my wedding photos.
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!

Last edited by Goody3shoes : 04-16-2012 at 08:58 AM.
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 08:56 AM   #5
threenorns
 
Posts: n/a

Default

rule number one (that brides never seem to follow):

IT'S YOUR FREAKING WEDDING!!!!

YOU'RE THE BOSS!!!!

IT'S THE ONE TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN IF YOU WANT THE ENTIRE WEDDING PARTY TO WEAR BLACK CREPE WITH TIN FOIL HATS AND DO THE MACARENA DOWN THE AISLE, THEY HAVE TO DO IT!

that means nobody has a say in who you pick and if someone has an issue with another of the guests, they suck it up and be polite out of respect for you.

if they can't do that, feel free to uninvite them and i would seriously SERIOUSLY reconsider having them as friends. sometimes wounded birds don't need help - they need to be put down out of mercy.

you have two bridesmaids left: promote one of them to maid/matron of honour. corral relatives to fill in the line. if not relatives, then at least ppl you know whom you can be reasonably confident aren't going to act like tools.

remember: drama is the BRIDE'S prerogative - nobody else has any right to indulge. they can wait for their own bloody wedding.

*fuming*

Last edited by threenorns : 04-16-2012 at 08:58 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:06 AM   #6
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Threenorms- I love that about wounded birds need to be shot and put out of their misery. Awesome! My best guy friend is going to be my man of honor so that's ok, but I'm not even sure if any of my family or my fiances would want to be my bridesmaid. Maybe I can make new friends in the next 16 months. lol
I might use the black crepe and tin foil hats thing.
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:11 AM   #7
threenorns
 
Posts: n/a

Default

er... you don't ask: you inform.

it's kinda like jury duty - unless you're going to be out of the country, you HAVE to do it.

i had to be a bridesmaid even though it involved wearing fuschia brocade in a size that made me look like i was wearing curtains seized from an illegal bordello. i refuse to be the only one to have to suffer so.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:16 AM   #8
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

You're description of a bridesmaid dress was hilarious! I am one of the most non-confrontational people in the world so it's hard for me to assert myself even though it's my wedding. I'm the opposite of a bridezilla, I think too much about everyone that isn't me.
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:21 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
ButterCup85's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 358

S/C/G: 250/184/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

You've gotten some really great advice already. But, I would like to reiterate it's your wedding day. You'll remember it forever. My friends and ex mother inlaw made my wedding day horrid and all the years I was married and the ones I've been divorced I think back to it and am completely disgusted.

It was my day, and my husbands day at the time. No one has any right to make it their day. And, as far as I'm concerned who needs even numbers? Be unconventional, do whatever the H E double hockey sticks you want to do! I am thankful I get a second chance, cause it will be much different and I wont be having bridesmaids or bestmen. It's our day and we will be the only ones standing up there and avoiding any drama or stress in that department.

You don't need to stress, nor do you need to let anyone else stress you. You may be a bit of a push over like you say. But, this day will remain forever, and you have every right to make it as amazing as possible. If you center it around people that have no respect for you or your feelings, or people you hardly know and don't feel comfy then that is your thing. Nothing wrong with it.

But, just be happy with whatever choice you make. You deserve it. And, anyone who doesn't smile and say yes I'll do that, it's your day. I'd consider not keeping them around period, and definitely not keeping them around or part of one of the most precious days you will have in your whole life.

You need to get angry, girl! Get angry and stand up for yourself, and make your day amazing. It seems your feelings have been hurt enough, go get happy and disregard anyone's thoughts who aren't respectful to you and your one day you ask for.

Sorry if it sounds harsh, you deserve a great day. They can't care for you on normal days, don't expect them to make n important day any better.

And really, as far as I'm concerned wedding days, the attention should pretty much just be focused on the woman and our feelings. And then the other little bit on the groom lol. Ugh, I wish I could taljk to your friends! Good luck and please don't do something you aren't happy with. You'll regret it and you'll regret it forever- at least I did!
ButterCup85 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:35 AM   #10
Lifes a Journey
 
MiZTaCCen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,690

S/C/G: 180/Ticker/135

Height: 5'5

Default

Wow, one I'd cut that chick completely out of my wedding and not even invite her as a guest for her disguting behaviour.

Two: sign up to meetup.com and meet some new people through there maybe you can find someone who can be a true friend and replace that sad excuse of a friend completely. lol

Three I agree completely with what Threenorms had to say. lol

and four...good luck! If I ever get married one day I'm eloping forget all this crap. haha
__________________
MiZTaCCen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:42 AM   #11
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Yikes! Buttercup! I'm sorry about your wedding! Yay for second chances though.
My gbf(gay best friend-my man of honor) always does the defending for me because anger is not my strong point. Plus, like you guys, reiterates that it's my day and that the girls are just being awful people so they don't deserve to be my friends.
Mother-in-laws are scary. My fiance and his best friends all think my future mother in awesome and really cool, but I get bad vibes from her, like she doesn't like me. When we got engaged she wasn't very pleased. She's always cordial, but it's that kind of nice that doesn't really ring true.
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:45 AM   #12
PCOS/IR/Hypothyroid
 
astrophe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,806

Height: 5'8"

Default

So just be uneven.

There. Prob solved, less stress.

It's not like there HAS to be evenness. There rarely is, and rather than put in some lukewarm placeholder people, just have the people you really enjoy and like to share in your honors.

A.
__________________
Started Oct 2014:
astrophe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 09:49 AM   #13
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

MiZTaCCen: I would elope, but my family would freak and so would my fiances if they didn't get to be there. I'm hoping that my "friend" moves away before I finalize the list so I don't have to tell her she can't be in my wedding, which will be awkward since we've been planning since we were 16.
Meetup sound good, thanks for the advice!
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 10:11 AM   #14
Senior Member
 
cherrypie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,014

Height: 5'5

Default

go with your fiances sisters. It will help with your mother in law as well. And just lose the other friends. Who needs drama like that?
__________________
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God
cherrypie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2012, 10:25 AM   #15
Pinkie Pie Pony
 
Goody3shoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140

S/C/G: 194/180.2/125

Height: 5'5

Default

Thanks Cherrypie. That seems to be the consensus for ditching my crazy friends.
I hadn't though about how his sisters will improve relations with his mother! Thanks!
__________________






179-No longer Obese=
165-Graduation Weight
149- No longer Overweight
135- College Weight
125-GOAL!
Goody3shoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:18 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2