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Ungrateful boyfriend

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Old 04-15-2012, 05:12 PM   #1
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Unhappy Ungrateful boyfriend

So I live with my boyfriend in a place my parents own. They're supporting me through college. My parents bought us a new oven that's really nice. Our old one wasn't very efficient and they found a really good deal.

Apparently the stop top of this one is "induction." I had no clue what that was. Its apparently more efficient, but the drawback is that it requires pots and pans that a magnet can stick to. This is how the stove top heats things up.

Well my boyfriends pots aren't magnetic. And he's basically mad that they got us a new oven that "doesn't work." It makes me really upset because I want him to just be grateful that my parents spent the money to get us a new oven. I found a thing called an "interface disk" that will allow his old pots to be used, but its going to be about a week before we can get one. So until then he's mad. My dad could tell he was mad which of course just makes him look ungrateful, too. I also think it was disrespectful to act that way.

I just ended someplace to vent. Sigh.
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:40 PM   #2
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I have had an induction oven and didn't need anything special in the way of pots and pans. Is this something new ?
If I am reading this correcty , your parents own this house, they can put anything into it that they choose to.
Correction : I had a convection oven, didn't need anything special. I guess induction ovens are different.
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:40 PM   #3
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Sounds like your boyfriend is a bit of a controlling type (everything has to go "his" way, and if something doesn't work he gets mad). That totally sucks and I know the feeling of being caught between family and your significant other, it isn't fun

Please dont tell me he gets to live there rent-free..
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:47 PM   #4
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bargoo - ya we tried regular pans and it wouldn't work. we found in the manual that the pans have to be able to carry a magnetic current...so i tested a pot that a magnet would stick to and it worked. and they do own the place and that's what I tried to explain to him

summerlove - it really does. and this just seems like the last straw for my parents. i just don't want to be in the middle because it seems like no matter what i do someone will be mad at me
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:19 PM   #5
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If he's your boyfriend, how about he uses your pots?

The landlord can obviously do what s/he wants with teh property, but personally I'd be kind of annoyed if my landlord "fixed" my kitchen so that I could no longer cook dinner. I mean, who _does_ that? And who rents out a house/apartment with a kitchen that needs special pots and pans?
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:34 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMaria View Post
If he's your boyfriend, how about he uses your pots?

The landlord can obviously do what s/he wants with teh property, but personally I'd be kind of annoyed if my landlord "fixed" my kitchen so that I could no longer cook dinner. I mean, who _does_ that? And who rents out a house/apartment with a kitchen that needs special pots and pans?
It's her parents property, and their previous oven wasn't working properly.
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:42 PM   #7
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OMFG - they bought you an ****Induction***** stove!?????

can they adopt me, please!!!!!!?

holy crap - your bf's *really* gonna need a tampon once you get the pots working bec i guarantee he's gonna burn the living **** outta stuff until he gets used to it!

takes about 2 minutes (literally!) to boil a litre (quart) of water!

that being said, what about picking up some cast iron to do for the time being? the pots only have to be magnetic, not fancy-dancy special.



on a side note, about your bf? toss that one back - he's too small.

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Old 04-15-2012, 06:44 PM   #8
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I second the tampon suggestion. Or maybe suggest he take a time out in the naughty corner with a juice box. He's acting like a child and should be THANKFUL that your parents sprung for a better oven rather than just a cheap replacement of the one you had. My god, I lived in a 300 sq ft basement suite for 4 years with a fridge whose freezer wouldn't keep things frozen because the landlord above me decided it was too expensive to fix. And when the toilet overflowed while *I* was at work (my toilet) I was somehow blamed for it. The next suite I lived in, in the same house, had HILLS!!! in the counters (legitimate hills!) and walls that didn't reach the floor.

He should be very thankful for what you guys have and were upgraded to.
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:18 PM   #9
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So, your parents bought a high quality stove with an induction cooktop and your boyfriends cheap pots don't work. Time to invest in some new pots, if you ask me.

Maybe show him why it's better and it is by far better than a standard electric stove.

and if we had the money, I would have gotten a 36" induction cooktop and spent the money on new pots if needed than go with the 36" gas cooktop we got instead.

He's being a dick.
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:47 PM   #10
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he really is being ridiculous. i found a thing called an interface disk that will allow ALL pots to be used. so he's whining about not being able to use them until it ships in a few days. until then we do have some pots that will work, they just aren't his favorites. (boo hoo.)

i understand being irritated that he can't use his pans for a little bit, but he really just came across rude to my dad. who btw bought the oven, loaded it onto a cart to get into my place, and installed it and then also hauled off the old oven. he had to help him physically lift the thing some, but for the most part my dad did everything for us. i was just so embarrassed and mad at the way he acted. he's agreed to apologize to my dad, but it sorta feels like the damage has been done. no matter what he says now my parents will never believe he's actually thankful for what they did.

I for one am super excited about the stove. I hated having to wait about 30 minutes just to boil water to cook something. This thing is awesome. My parents got the thing at about 75% at a going out of business sale. I feel extremely lucky to be getting such a nice stove/oven. I just wish he'd feel and see things my way.
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Old 04-15-2012, 08:45 PM   #11
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Is your boyfriend by any chace a professional (or passionate amateur) chef/cook?

I would guess, yes - because I know my hubby would have a very difficult time concealing his displeasure if we found ourselves in this situation. If our landlord replaced our cook top with an induction cook top, we'd probably have to move (in his ideal kitchen we would have a gas oven/stove top and an electric oven/stovetop - "because different foods cook best using the different properties of electric and gas."

We were once looking at new stoves (when we were considering buying a home) and I asked the salesperson about the induction cook tops (just out of curiosity) and before the salesperson could get in more than a few words, my husband went on a 20 minute disgusted tirade about the superiority of both gas and electric over induction. He also teased that of course I would like it, because I cooked everything on high heat (which is true, I'm a very impatient cook).

He likewise is very opinionated on the topic of cookware and knives (he actually has a set that I'm not allowed to use because I don't use them properly and he's afraid the knives or I will be hurt - and sometimes I think he's more concerned about the knives).

He absolutely HATES the non-stick cookware my sister gave us for our wedding (luckily the set came with some nice copper bottom stainless that he was happy with, so he could truthfully compliment those when my sister asked).

I'm not saying it makes your boyfriend's behavior ok, but if he's only rude/arrogant/opinionated on a very small number of topics, I don't think this is an insurmountable problem. If this is a relatively isolated incident your boyfriend and parents will get over it. If it's chronic behavior, you will have to decide whether it's something you're willing to live with.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:09 PM   #12
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If it's chronic behavior, you will have to decide whether it's something you're willing to live with.
He's not a chef in any sense of the word. His diet consists of grilled cheese, frozen pizzas, and frozen chicken with frozen fries. lol. he has very little variety in his diet mostly because he's very picky. I think he's just OCD about some things or something. I think eliminating 1 of his few foods (grilled cheese) for a bit upset him, but I don't know. It's not like he makes them THAT often.

It really is sorta "chronic behavior." And its mostly isolated with my parents. He's fine when its just me and him but I find myself embarrassed or upset with his behavior around other people. My parents in particular because I expect him to respect them. I think he does respect them to a degree, but clearly not as much as he should or he would have never been so rude to my dad. He says it was just displaced anger at the stove top not working with his pans, but no matter what caused it..its not acceptable behavior. And only worsens the issues between him and my parents. They already feel like he doesn't want them around and hates doing anything with them.

The stove top issue is just one part of a big ugly puzzle. One that has to be solved because I can't spend the rest of my life playing peacekeeper. And I won't.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:25 PM   #13
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This boy has a lot to learn. When you rent you find out your couch is too big, or you can't fit your king size bed in the bedroom, there are not enough kitchen cupboards or clothes closets , the neighbor plays loud music all night at least one of these thnigs is bound to apply. You learn to live with it.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:35 PM   #14
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This boy has a lot to learn. When you rent you find out your couch is too big, or you can't fit your king size bed in the bedroom, there are not enough kitchen cupboards or clothes closets , the neighbor plays loud music all night at least one of these thnigs is bound to apply. You learn to live with it.
I think he does feel like he should have more say in the place. Partly because my parents own it and he feels like I have a say in it. A lot of the things my parents do, I don't have a say in either. But Im not sure I would tell them not to do anything that they have - I see them all as improvements. And I understand their point of view that the more improvements they make the more money they can sell it for one day. He says he feels like the more they do for us the more he "owes" them. That's not why they do things for us though, they do it because they love both of us and want us to have the best and be comfortable while focusing on school. I really appreciate everything they do. It just comes across as though he doesn't and that's what really bothers me.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:39 PM   #15
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Sounds like your boyfriend doesn't respect your parents - there's no 'to a point' I would guess that you're getting a good deal on your living arrangements. And it is their property. Few things are worse than a SO who embarrases you. And dislikes your family. And if the issue is that he feels the more your parents do for you the more he owes them, well, maybe he does owe them & if he doesn't like that he can always take his stuff & live elsewhere.

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