Not true. Having a vagina is not a requirement to being a real women.
Body shaming is general is a problem. People's tendency to judge a person's character by some appearance marker doesn't always go just one way. While many people will definitely assume people who are over a certain weight are 'lazy' and 'stupid' or worse, they often will have some lower cut off for being acceptable, with those falling below it are assumed to have an eating disorder on top of being 'b****hes' and 'shallow/stupid'. Its very frustrating and only serves to pit people against each other.
I live in Midwest where having extra pounds is a norm.
I was very thin until about 5 years ago. I am 5'3 and my weight was between 115-125 pounds. I think part of the reason for my weight gain was to fit in. -- women who were short and snotty with me, became nicer and nicer towards me with each pound I packed on. At my heaviest which was probably 170 pounds and size 16 I was always treated very, very well by my lady peers. -- Now that I have lost 20-25 pounds, those same women are starting to act catty again -- Well they are not my friends anyways
I think it kinda boils into jealousy. -- I am a very talkative person, I am a natural blonde with a slight accent.... and I will talk to anyone! Men, women, children, aliens hehe....As a fat woman I was never accused of being a flirt, as a thin woman I have been accused of that all the time. -- I did not change, I have always been me...but my frame has changed and I think many women fear that you may be more attractive than they are and god forbid their men taking a second look. -- I am happily married to the most "gorgeous" man on this earth.
I find it very sad that us women are so catty towards eachother. I have saluted my thin friends because I know how hard it is to stay thin. Temptations are everywhere and being over 40 and hormonal does not help.
My fam is hating when you lose, hating on you when you gain. I've gotten racial comments and weight comments from non-fam mem
I think about it this way-the people who are critical like that, are probably-in the bigger picture, more likely to criticize others (in a mean fashion, not just saying, I prefer this or that) instead of talking about their own insecurities-or at least admitting them.
They probably say the same things to themselves secretly and are very hard on themselves when they don't fit their own standards-and they have to live with themselves.
Thats why I'm tired of self-hating. Do I like my body currently? No. Its still got a ways to go, but I care about it enough to lose weight in a healthy way, and accept that I am not this or that. Everyone can find something wrong with me, so I might as well accept myself and go for the best (based on my preferences) that I want to be.
In a way, it really taught me to be more sensitive about people's body issues. Now its very easy for me to be able to tell what people are insecure about and I try to be sensitive about it.
In my experience the skinny ones are more apt to get rude comments. Like Sum38, I live in the Midwest and plump is much more common. My sis is 5'6 and 123lbs and people constantly comment on her weight. "is that all you are having for lunch" "you are so skinny" "why don't you eat something" I know that it really hurts her feelings. When I was at my heaviest no one ever said a word to me. I can be slightly intimidating though.
Bullying in any form is unacceptable. There are few things in the world that get me worked up like people picking on someone. I still vividly remember being in Girl Scouts and them ganging up on this girl, pulling her underwear out of her bag and making fun of how large they were. I stood up for her and made them stop. 20 years later and it still makes me sick to my stomach.
Some comments are not intended to be as mean as the sting that is felt.
I'm one of the skinny chicks. A past Biggest Loser participant recently approached me at the gym I manage to inquire about becoming a group fitness instructor.
We emailed back and forth and I genuinely am so happy for her to make the decision to do it!
What happened next, though, surprised me. She emailed, "I don't have to be one of those skinny biotches to do this, right?"
I totally know she didn't mean to insult me, but for crying out loud, she was speaking to the skinny group exercise instructor!
I just took it as, she must not think that I'm a skinny biotch. I was able to process the comment into a compliment and get over it.
People simply stick their foot in their mouths and don't think before they speak.
Some comments are not intended to be as mean as the sting that is felt.
I'm one of the skinny chicks. A past Biggest Loser participant recently approached me at the gym I manage to inquire about becoming a group fitness instructor.
We emailed back and forth and I genuinely am so happy for her to make the decision to do it!
What happened next, though, surprised me. She emailed, "I don't have to be one of those skinny biotches to do this, right?"
I totally know she didn't mean to insult me, but for crying out loud, she was speaking to the skinny group exercise instructor!
I just took it as, she must not think that I'm a skinny biotch. I was able to process the comment into a compliment and get over it.
People simply stick their foot in their mouths and don't think before they speak.
Oh well.
Ouch. Unfortunately that book title got super trendy!
My ex thought that since I was fat, I'd automatically assume all skinny women were b!tches. Er, not really . . . I've known several fat b!tches as well; weight really had nothing to do with it.
But seriously, I think quite often it's a case of sour grapes. It can be really hard to be fully qualified for a job and watch it get handed to someone thinner. It can be especially hard to watch your significant other blatantly stare at someone with the stereotypical "hot" body (my ex was good at that). It can be difficult to visit the store and not envy all the smaller shoppers that can sort through the cute clothes while you're stuck in the very limiting plus size "fashions." And it can be h3ll to have grown up being the fat one, constantly teased, belittled, and outright bullied because of your size.
People just need to stop generalizing over looks. Someone being skinny doesn't automatically mean they have a superiority complex over a fat person. And being a fat doesn't make someone lazy, greedy, or less intelligent. Unfortunately, some feel justified to discriminate to anyone that's not like them. The thing is that people full of bitterness and insecurities often look for excuses to lash out at others. I've always hoped I've been able to keep from projecting my personal insecurities onto others, although I imagine it pops up when I feel someone is being judgmental of me.
Last edited by Elladorine; 04-04-2012 at 05:12 PM.
I think it kinda boils into jealousy. -- I am a very talkative person, I am a natural blonde with a slight accent.... and I will talk to anyone! Men, women, children, aliens hehe....As a fat woman I was never accused of being a flirt, as a thin woman I have been accused of that all the time. -- I did not change, I have always been me...but my frame has changed and I think many women fear that you may be more attractive than they are and god forbid their men taking a second look. -- I am happily married to the most "gorgeous" man on this earth.
I find it very sad that us women are so catty towards eachother. I have saluted my thin friends because I know how hard it is to stay thin. Temptations are everywhere and being over 40 and hormonal does not help.
Gosh, I HATE this. I'm running into it lately, too. I had a 'friend' accuse me of flirting with her husband. WHAT??!! My personality has not changed because I've lost this weight... but people's perception of it, obviously has. It's obnoxious. Why can't we all just be nice to each other and not have it misinterpreted all the time?
I was skinny my entire life until 16 or so. I'm 24 now and I've gained 80 pounds since then. I don't hate skinny women, but I do think a lot of them are extremely superficial - heck, I was. I've spent a lot of time around thin women and I'd say the majority of them are pretty snarky towards fat women.
It doesn't matter whether you're fat, skinny, tall, short, black, white, or asian - people put other people down.
You're the only one whose attitude can be changed. If you're someone who puts yourself down all the time, stop. They're already enough people out there willing to do it.
I think a lot of this is the competitive attitudes that are so prominent here in the US and other places. People feel like they need to be in competition with each other for some unknown reason, maybe it's capitalism or the marketing, who knows. But mainly, when those sort of comments are made, it's in backlash to someone first putting down what assets that person has. Think how many times you've heard about "what's in" and how many people that excludes seasonally. Of course, some people are going to say "screw that, my preference is this.."
People are attractive or unattractive to the individual viewer and there is no "one size fits all" in terms of what's attractive. Some people prefer really thin athletic figures and others prefer thicker, softer physiques. Others still, are not picky one way or the other... Like they say, there's no accounting for taste, people like what they like. I would prefer it if people's individual preference didn't cause them to make negative comments towards others but alas, this is a very imperfect world we live in and people let their mouths go unchecked.
Even though I had a few pounds to lose (skinny fat!), I had a rough time with my female coworkers and peers when it came to lunch time. They'd ask me for a while if I wanted to go to get lunch with them at the local fast food places. I always said no, and they gave up.
They did try to push me a bit, trying to get me to eat bad things. I'd always cite that I was on a diet. (Note: these girls were at least 200lbs each and all but one was under 25.)
I never meant to offend them with that, but I felt I had to give reason why I was always declining offers to try bad foods. After this they seemed to give up on trying to get me to eat bad food.
I also had the problem with trying to get my mother in law to stop offering me bad food. She still hasn't quit and will send us candy on Christmas. (I throw it all out, except maybe for 1-2 tiny peanut butter things.)
-- Well they are not my friends anyways 
-- I am happily married to the most "gorgeous" man on this earth. 
My personality has not changed because I've lost this weight... but people's perception of it, obviously has. It's obnoxious. Why can't we all just be nice to each other and not have it misinterpreted all the time?
