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A date!

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Old 03-29-2012, 02:50 PM   #1
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Default A date!

Kind of, it's more of a coffee meet with a guy that I've been texting for months now. I'm not really nervous but the problem is I'm socially awkward and very shy and guarded. I have no clue what kind of questions I should ask. Other than the simple basics...anyone have questions they like to ask when they're on a date or meeting someone for the first time? Not to mention when it get's turned around on me...My life sucks, I'm boring, never travelled other than across the country. My job is lame, sometimes I feel like I've accomplished nothing in life or that's worth talking about....
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:00 PM   #2
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I'm the exact same way. It takes me awhile to become comfortable enough with the opposite sex to have a real conversation. Maybe why all my past boyfriends and I were friends first xD....Anyways...when I'm out on dates, after the initial hey how are you conversation I do something really quirky...I have them hold out their hands, palm side down, while I place mine under theirs but not touching and I start with asking basic questions and things I'm curious about (while throwing in a playful slap once in awhile with that hand game) slowly it turns from questions to a conversation without even trying.

Sorry I can't answer your direct question, thats just something that helps me and maybe it can help you...Good luck and have fun on the coffee date =D
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Old 03-29-2012, 03:53 PM   #3
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What's the best vacation he ever had? You find out insight to someone - what they really like, etc. ... top three movies ... you'll be invited to share yours, etc. ... education/training/money not an object, what is the coolest job they can think of - or what really interests them if they could do it other than what they're doing now, etc.

Instead of thinking about what to talk about, though, just relax, enjoy yourself, and let the conversation flow. Sometimes just being "armed" with topics ensures you're more relaxed, though, and you won't even need them. Have fun!
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Old 03-30-2012, 12:08 AM   #4
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You have been texting him for months, just continue that face to face. You are meeting up because you made a connection so be comfortable with that.

Be honest. Talk to him as you have talked to us here and let him lead the conversation after that. I have no doubt he is as nervous as you so you can share that and move on from there.

Just be yourself =) Let him be himself. If you guys made it this far texting you are already one step ahead
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Old 03-30-2012, 12:25 AM   #5
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I agree -- if you've been texting all this time, just relax. He can ask you whatever. You just answer honestly.

What do you want to know more about HIM is the question. And where do you want this rship to go? What are YOU looking for?

I always asked about previous relationships as a litmus. If the ex was TOO evil, that's a red flag to me. Bad ex's happen, but c'mon. Bride of frankenstein? ALL of them? I'd wonder what about the rship went sour that he isn't wanting to own and wants to fob off on the person who isn't there to tell their side.

If the most recent ex is TOO much on their mind still, that's a red flag too. Like they are not totally over them yet and maybe not ready to be dating still.

About their family culture -- how their parents met, how many siblings, customs, religions etc.

How do they like to be treated, handle conflict, etc. I like getting a sense of what people skills this person has.

Because honestly? I'm not up for ego stroking, petty jealousies, and egg shell walking. And for me?

I'm also not up for mixed marriage culture clash crazy. I'm in a mixed marriage, my parents were in a mixed marriage, and it works fine if both sides are cool with that. But it's H***L if both sides aren't cool with it and it can cause such deep rifts. Ugh.

I'd want to know things like that before getting in too deep with the person.

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Old 03-30-2012, 01:14 AM   #6
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Default Date night!

You've been texting for months sweety, so obviously he likes you. You've already had conversations, just relax and continue talking like you have been. Good luck and have fun. Be yourself and enjoy yourself<3 GOOD LUCK!!!!
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Old 03-30-2012, 08:54 AM   #7
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You guys are right, we've been texting for months so now were just meeting up so no biggie! I love the questions you guys have given me to ask as well. I tend to forget about the simple things, like brothers, sisters, family, (never forget to ask about the ex's) haha.

I'll keep you guys posted if it goes from coffee to a date another day!
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Old 03-30-2012, 03:10 PM   #8
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Most of all HAVE FUN!! Dont put too much pressure on yourself

Although friends and family would describe me as a social butterfly, I am actually extremely socially awkward and VERY uncomfortable on first one on ones. But, I have found the easiest way to break the ice- be HONEST! I usually will say, yeah, I'm a little nervous here. You will probably be surprised to here them say they are too!

Enjoy!
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Old 03-31-2012, 03:44 PM   #9
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It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!
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Old 03-31-2012, 03:55 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiZTaCCen View Post
It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!


Nicely done!
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Old 03-31-2012, 04:00 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiZTaCCen View Post
It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!
Hi saw this post the other night but thought it best not to advise being a man lol ......so forgive me asking but would to love to know what you did talk about? Glad it went well ...just being nosey x
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Old 03-31-2012, 04:35 PM   #12
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Thanks! and Luton
we talked about family, ex's his acting career, his master's in criminal psychology. We also talked about what I do which is nothing exciting, video games, (cause I'm a gamer) and I was telling him about my days when I would play resident evil 1, 2 and 3 I'd scream because something would randomly jump out at me lol. Childhood I guess pretty much all the basics! lol
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:43 AM   #13
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Smile Yay!

Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I hope things work out, but even if they don't, this is a great learning experience for you, next time, if there is a next time, you don't have to worry about so much because you've been there done that and you did AMAZING!<3 I'm so excited for you!!!
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:25 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody3shoes View Post
Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I hope things work out, but even if they don't, this is a great learning experience for you, next time, if there is a next time, you don't have to worry about so much because you've been there done that and you did AMAZING!<3 I'm so excited for you!!!
Thank you!

We have a second date this weekend sometime. It's easter weekend so we're not sure which day yet because he'll have family in town. We're going to do dinner which will be nice.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:48 AM   #15
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Default Ack!

I'm so super excited for you! I haven't been on a first date in 2 1/2 years so I hope you don't mind me living a little vicariously through you! Dinner will be amazingand he's making time for you on what is usually exclusively a family holiday weekend so it's a good sign! Keep me posted! And have a great time!!!!!!!!!!!
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