I just need to vent. I know that I'm lucky in the sense that I'm employed while many others aren't in this crazy economy.
I hate my job. I've been with my current employer for almost 6 years now. I've had some good bosses and have been fortunate to move around a few times within the company. Yet nothing feels "right" to me.
I've been working in my field for 8 years now. I'm in the mid 30s now. I've never experienced that "Ah HA!" moment in terms of thinking this is what I really want to do in life.
The stink of it is that I get a lot of perks for being with my current employer for nearly 6 years. Specifically, I get an entire month off from work, good health/dental/vision insurance, and decent 401K. If I jump to another company, then I'm back to square one regarding how much PTO I have and what not.
I just wish I could find a career that I'm passionate about instead of JUST a job. I'm almost 34 years old and all I know is what I'm doing is not what I want to be doing.
Sometimes I cry on the commute home from work. I keep on reading job ads on several job boards, but nothing really appeals to me. I have a mortgage, so I'm "stuck" with having to make a certain amount of income for the time being.
I just want to feel happy in my career. I know some of my emotional eating stems from not being happy with the work that I do.
I just want that "AH HA" moment regarding knowing what career/job I want and that I'm damn good at.
Even though I've been doing roughly the same type of work for nearly 8 years, I don't have much work confidence. This is due to having been sexually harassed by my former boss at my former employment back in 2006. I reported him and he was fired, but it took the company almost one year to get rid of him. During that time, many of the employees (i.e. his group of 10 to 12 men) would berate me in meetings...nothing direct, but more snarky comments about my work and how I didn't know what I was doing. Being that it was my first job out of grad school, I really took it to heart. I guess I'm still trying to recover from it.
I'm rambling now. I just feel lonely. This Pacific Northwest weather is finally getting to me. I miss my family and friends back home on the east coast.
I just want to be happy and find peace for once.