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Observation of a friend

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Old 02-10-2012, 05:34 PM   #1
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Default Observation of a friend

While looking at Pinterest I made an interesting observation of a friend of mine. This person just had their second weight loss surgery after having some pretty serious complications from the first one. They initially lost a lot of weight but then the complications were getting out of hand and gained a good portion of it back. They just had the second surgery on Monday and has been very sick and won't be able to eat solid food for well over a month. On Pinterest, almost every post is about food (and I mean maybe 1 out of 40 isn't about food). I completely understand food addiction and it is very hard to make a lifestyle change that big, but to go to the point of having two different types of weight loss surgery, having to cut out tons of food because of the initial surgery, then having to cut out more because of complications, and now being sick enough after surgery to not be able to keep even a glass of water down, and still browsing the food section and repinning all the stuff that you really shouldn't eat even if you look like a super model. I've noticed that most of their social outings/gatherings, conversations, and holidays completely revolve around food. We aren't very close, more like friends of friends but I think this person needs to look into the psychological part of their addiction instead of going to surgery.

If I'm out of line on this, I apologize. It is something I've been noticing more and more and I wonder why their close friends and family can't see it. I'm really not close enough to this person to bring it up and I think I would be seriously sticking my foot in my mouth about this.
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Old 02-10-2012, 05:44 PM   #2
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I see what you are saying. I have people in my life that although not like the situation above, have let's say "issues" that I feel they are not dealing with or have a solution that goes in a completely different direction than the path they should be taking. The thing is, they just don't listen. So, even if someone close to them IS saying something, they are probably ignoring them. This person's doctor(s) should definitely be dealing with this though. I don't know what pinterest is but this is why I deleted my facebook. I am sick of seeing people's dumb posts and getting frustrated with them and not being able to do anything about it. I would just forget about it, really. It's nice that you're concerned but there is nothing you can do (in my opinion of course )
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Old 02-10-2012, 05:54 PM   #3
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I know there isn't anything I can do. I'm just surprised that this isn't like a flashing billboard to the doctor. Trust me, I make good use of the hide and block buttons on my Facebook. LOL!
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Old 02-11-2012, 11:00 AM   #4
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Is she pinning stuff she eats or just has interest in?
Big difference.
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Old 02-11-2012, 11:21 AM   #5
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Quote:
I wonder why their close friends and family can't see it. I'm really not close enough to this person to bring it up and I think I would be seriously sticking my foot in my mouth about this.
The closer people may have tried and the person isn't listening.

Or the closer people are too close to see the forest for the trees.

Depending on how your friendship is, you can inquire how friend is doing post surgery and if there's anything you can do that's practical help for recovery time.

Then only offer something reasonable you actually would be ok doing. Don't get yourself sucked into a big ol mess. But kindness isn't a bad thing.

Like maybe making friend a few meals for the freezer. Or doing the grocery shopping if she gives you a list. Vac the house --tidy something. Whatever.

I'm sure the person is aware they had surgery and why. They may just not be ready to address it.

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Old 02-11-2012, 11:54 AM   #6
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Is she pinning stuff she eats or just has interest in?
Big difference.
This is all stuff that she has intentions of making. She celebrates every single holiday that comes along. That includes making huge meals with appetizers, desserts, drinks, the whole nine yards. Then, she can't figure out why she overeats. Her two adult children are overweight too from growing up around this. One of them is on the road to being severly overweight very soon.

I think it is a lot easier for people that aren't that close to see what's going on. I guess I don't understand why people expect an "easy" way out. My ex-SIL had weight loss surgery too and it did not work. In her mind, she thought "I'm eating a smaller piece of chocolate cake so therefore I will lose weight." In reality, you are still eating a piece of chocolate cake for lunch. I can kind of understand that part because I've tried fooling myself with that too. But if you are going to do something as drastic as having yourself cut open then why wouldn't you follow through with all of the work you have to do afterwards. There are no short cuts in life.
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Old 02-11-2012, 11:58 AM   #7
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Agh, gotcha.
Yes, it's hard to watch. But what makes sense to you may not to others, unfortunately.
You can offer your advice in a very polite way, but it is still their own choices to make.
If she is comfortable with it, there isn't much you can do.
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Old 02-12-2012, 08:32 AM   #8
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I love pinterest! I pin lots of recipes, some healthy, some not! I have made a few and was pleased with the outcome.I made superbowl party food off the site but it was all baked and turned out wonderful and didnt spike hubbys glucose. Yes I pin cupcakes but they are normally for my daughters to make to take to work and stuff. I pin recipes for myself as well as others.
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Old 02-12-2012, 09:04 AM   #9
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Erin--it is interesting you describe as those opting for weightless surgery as taking the "easy way" out. The two friends of mine that had it didn't have an easy experience AT ALL nor were they looking for one. Your depiction of WLS is all too typical.
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Old 02-12-2012, 09:15 AM   #10
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We all have our own addictions. I went out to eat with a friend who had WLS and all she wanted to do was eat fried foods which is something I don't eat knowing it is too many calories. I only saw a snapshot of her eating habits and for every WLS patient who is compliant, there will be others that aren't.

I think a bit of compassion and understanding goes a long way as we all have our challenges and weaknesses.
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Old 02-12-2012, 01:26 PM   #11
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I spent a year or so in high school losing about 100 lbs on WW, I had been a binge eater previous to that, so that was a good part of my adolescence totally focused on food and eating. Then in college I had a male friend/interest of mine, kinda bf, who said to me one day, You're always thinking about food!

I felt so embarrassed by that, I still remember it.

the dieting was great for getting the weight off, made some of the food/eating issues worse. (and I gained it back, plus some)

it doesn't surprise me from my experiences that your friend might go in the direction of getting more obsessed with food, eating and cooking, I did something of the same. sometimes those extreme situations feed that.

and today being a "foodie" is a big trend, with the cooking networks, all the specialty items you can get from a regular grocery store, gourmet stores, and celebrity chefs.
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:41 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissGuided View Post
Is she pinning stuff she eats or just has interest in?
Big difference.

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Old 02-13-2012, 10:47 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Thighs Be Gone View Post
Erin--it is interesting you describe as those opting for weightless surgery as taking the "easy way" out. The two friends of mine that had it didn't have an easy experience AT ALL nor were they looking for one. Your depiction of WLS is all too typical.
I did not mean it as in that I think it is an easy way out. What I meant is that some of the people I know that had WLS looked at it that way. Hearing the restrictions on what you can and cannot eat and drink, I'm not sure that I could ever do that. Not to mention, the follow ups and additional procedures afterwards. My ex-SIL had lap band surgery probably six or seven years ago. She honestly thought she was going to be down to 150 pounds in a year, like it was magic. Well, it didn't work out that way. It doesn't work if you aren't willing to work too. I don't know if the doctors aren't doing their jobs of informing patients of realistic results or what. The commercials that have been airing about WLS make it sound like you have the surgery and next thing you know you look like a supermodel. Nothing in life is that easy!

I just went on Pinterest again and I could not believe what I saw. In two days, every single thing she has pinned has been food. Not healthy anything, but desserts, cupcakes, doughnuts, etc. I counted to 70 and stopped but the pins kept going. I don't know why someone would want to torture themselves like that. I've been trying to avoid the food section as much as possible unless I'm browsing for some healthy recipes. I was completely shocked by the amount of food she had on there.
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Old 02-13-2012, 11:41 PM   #14
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IF it bothers you so much, I suggest you stop looking at what she pins, plain and simple. It is NOT your problem, as sad as it may seem, food addiction is a struggle to many & hard to overcome. As crazy as this sounds to you, maybe she finds comfort in having a visual pin board to dream about these foods instead of eating them this time around to help her get thru the month of not being able to eat these things with abandonment. Who knows, nobody knows but her. In summary, I think you should not worry about what she pins or doesn't pin. just sayin... no hard feelings k?
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Old 02-14-2012, 12:54 AM   #15
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It sounds like she has some issues but she nay just be pinning them because food is still her main "hobby"-you said she likes to entertain for holidays. To each their own.. if anything I would check on her, maybe she is lonely or bored. I. Know when I am lonely and bored I focus more on food. If her surgery has made her sick maybe dreaming about that food is just as good as eating it at this point.
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