Hi all. This has been weighing on me, and I thought I would post it up here and just get this off my chest.
For several years I've been best friends with a gal that I met at a training thing for work, she lives in another city. We kept up daily via email, text, and sometimes phone calls. Despite our geographical distance, she truly felt like the best friend in the world, and she felt the same of me.
Last summer I started doing a pretty serious exercise program (P90X) which became almost a hobby for me and something I spoke a lot about but never tried to push on her. In the meantime, she left her job and went back to school and so we lost our commonality of working in a similar industry. She also had ZERO interest or support for my efforts to get healthy and lose weight. Any time I would bring it up she would actually seem to get angry with me (she is overweight too). I stopped sharing any of my exercise or weight loss goals and successes with her because she seemed so hostile about it. I wasn't bragging, I wasn't trying to rub anything in, I wasn't trying to get her to do it. But it was part of my life.
Meanwhile she started just blowing me off, for weeks at a time. And then she'd reappear, like nothing had happened. But in those times, I felt like I didn't matter to her. That happened twice, and then at Christmas 2011 she did it again and blew me off for the entire Christmas season and well into January even though she knows Christmas is a tough time for me especially this year as my parents moved across the country and it was my first Christmas without family. This time, I sent her a letter asking what was up and told her it was hurting me and that she seemed to just be blowing me off. She got defensive and angry and said you can't blow someone off that you don't have plans with. During all this, I would see her posting on her social networking site to other friends and even spending hours playing games. So she clearly had time- just no time for me. Since then, I've stopped emailing her, texting her or IM'ing her. I will make an occasional comment on her social networking page. That's it. She is the same way.
To me, it's devastating that my only close friendship utterly failed in such a short timespan, but I feel like it had turned into a one way friendship. I was there for her, she wasn't there for me. And it hurts. I'm not that great at making friends, and now I have no close woman friend to associate with. And no matter how much I love my DH, every gal needs at least one good woman friend, I think.
She's not on this forum, she doesn't even know I come to this forum, so this isn't a passive aggressive letter to her or anything. It's just me venting because I don't understand what happened or if I did something wrong or if I should try to fix it. And I don't really know how to go about making a new woman friend. Advice and wisdom would be appreciated.
Thanks.