Issues with "peeping toms"

runtothemoon · 01-13-2012, 09:39 PM

I made a youtube account so I could post a "watch me shrink" video to keep me motivated. I taped myself in my bikini turning around and pinching my stomach fat and posted a video with my measurements, diet plan, and goals.

A day later three people had subscribed to me. They subcirbed to all these "watch me shrink" videos as well as what I'd call, I guess, overweight fetish videos.

I feel really violated.

I set my video to private and will do so for all future videos but the damage was done. Was I just naive? I really didn't see this coming.

Italiannie · 01-13-2012, 10:00 PM

You were naive. I'm sorry, but if it's "out there" it's "out there."

This is what we keep telling our kids. Unless it's something you would stand in the middle of a busy street and show to everyone you know, and those you don't - don't put it online.

ValRock · 01-13-2012, 10:02 PM

Yep... I consider the internet public. If you post it online it's the same as standing out in the town square and doing it. I'm so sorry.

Candeka · 01-14-2012, 12:26 AM

I don't think it had anything to do with them having some fetish. Chances are they were people looking for motivation videos. I know that I LOVE youtube videos of people showing off their transformations and also watching peoples weekly video blogs about their weight loss journeys.

The fact that you didn't want people to see this and put it on youtube WITHOUT setting it to private is very confusing!

astrophe · 01-14-2012, 12:37 AM

Naive. Anything anywhere you post online is public. Anything online is only "private" not really private.

I'm sorry -- I know it feels weird.

How about just keeping it on your computer at home for YOU to view? It doesn't actually need to be on youtube.

A.

Ciao · 01-14-2012, 12:38 AM

i'm terribly sorry you feel violated and i wouldn't let it dwell over you and worry yourself sick. as you said, you really didn't see it coming.

i'd keep the videos private, take this as a lesson learned, and move on in a positive direction with your weight loss. next time, when you feel more comfortable, re-start with FITTED clothes on. that way you can still see progress and you're not showing too much skin to those who may make you feel uncomfortable.

Ciao · 01-14-2012, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Candeka

I don't think it had anything to do with them having some fetish. Chances are they were people looking for motivation videos.

that was my initial thought too, however i read her statement again and realized she said "...as well as what i'd call overweight fetish videos."

back to the original poster:
watch me shrink videos CAN BE and ARE inspiring. you just have to realize the internet is filled with a vast amount of people who will downgrade you, criticize you, creep you out, etc. the first second you make your personal life public.

i'm glad you dealt with it now while you still had control over the situation instead of, perhaps, two months from now dealing with something more serious you really weren't prepared for or expecting.

757MISTY · 01-14-2012, 08:31 AM

I swear someone somewhere always has to ruin things for others. I do watch those videos they are inspiring for me and give me motivation. I wonder if there is a way you could block only certain users?

Esofia · 01-14-2012, 12:24 PM

Everyone makes mistakes, and at least you caught it early, so hopefully now that you've pulled the video, no one has a copy of it which could later appear online again. Meanwhile, don't be misled by the number of people who are willing to take the substantial risk of putting videos or photos of themselves, and/or their real names, online. There are very real reasons why it's prudent to avoid doing that. I don't even have my photo on Facebook any more, after what happened to poor Jelena Lecic in June. Identity theft is a major problem today, and when photos or videos are involved it can get even nastier.

gagalu · 01-14-2012, 12:52 PM

there are a lotta freaks on the internet, so that honestly doesn't surprise me. i'm sorry you were creeped on like that and that you can't make a video showing your progress without something disgusting like this happening to you. things shouldn't be like that. i'm glad you set it on private, though! and if there are any specific people you want to have access to the videos, you can allow them that.

gagalu · 01-14-2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Italiannie

You were naive. I'm sorry, but if it's "out there" it's "out there."

This is what we keep telling our kids. Unless it's something you would stand in the middle of a busy street and show to everyone you know, and those you don't - don't put it online.

idk, this seems kind of like victim blaming. the problem is that there are disgusting people out there turning her success story into masturbation material, and honestly, it's kinda gross. i mean, i don't think the problem is that "they know about her weight loss," because that's why she put the video up -- she wanted people to know about her success, to inspire others, and to have others' responses inspire her -- she just didn't realize that in doing that, her video was going to be turned into pornography by some very disgusting men. i mean, it was youtube, not spankwire -- she shouldn't have expected that kind of response.

there's no reason that a woman should have to deal with that, or to be objectified like that. calling her naive or saying "well, that's how things are" only excuses that kind of behavior. that said, things like this do tend to be exacerbated on the internet due to anonymity, and i'm glad that the OP realized what was happening to her and yanked the video before that was able to turn into anything more traumatizing than it already was.

Italiannie · 01-14-2012, 01:07 PM

I'm not blaming her, and I don't think she is at all responsible for other's behavior but, as you put it, gagalu - "she just didn't realize that in doing that, her video was going to be turned into pornography by some very disgusting men" That is the definition of naive.

The internet is very public. We cannot be responsible for what other do, but we certainly must be mindful and wise, to think otherwise is naive.

ennay · 01-14-2012, 01:10 PM

Personally I wouldnt even trust the private setting. There is no such thing as internet privacy and while there are some security stuff out there, I would highly doubt youtube puts a great deal of effort to keep images secure. It's not financial, so it isnt regulated.

Why post to youtube at all? If you are the only one you want to see it why put it on the net? Cant you watch your own video on your own computer or your own tv without putting it out there?

MariaMaria · 01-14-2012, 01:28 PM

You can see your own videos without uploading them.

If your problem is that the wrong strangers watched, then yes, you're being naive.

PollifaxFive · 01-15-2012, 12:32 AM

It's good that you realized and made that decision not to post any more if it bothers you. Creeps online will use anything as substitute porn. I certainly don't fault you for wanting to put the same material out there that other people do. It's just like putting a photo online. Seeing someone's face can be like seeing their bodies, yet people don't find faces as personal as they do the nude body. I'm sure creepy people look up photos of normal, every-day people as porn, as if those people were porn stars. There are people who use others' faces in their false profiles, after all. It'll be okay. You're in the same category of people who put photos of themselves online in bikinis on Facebook - in short, many people.

*On that note, I find those before & after photos and progress pictures very encouraging.