Although I grew up Catholic, I see Christmas as mostly a secular holiday. People who have no ties to Christianity will celebrate it. Some people love holidays, some people love gift giving and receiving.
Having said that, many, many people have had bad experience with Christians in their past and I can understand there concerns with them feeling as if a Hristian holiday is being forced upon them. I say if someone says they don't celebrate Christmas and they would rather you say nothing or happy holidays, then what is the problem? I think we should be considerate towards others and it is a simple thing to do.
I personally don't care but understand why it might bother some.
Likes: The music, Christmas trees, the church services, the family, the food, the increased goodwill.
Dislikes: Getting tangled up into the ritualistic consumerism, and "tip season". Which relates back to ... January credit card bills.
Having said that, many, many people have had bad experience with Christians in their past and I can understand there concerns with them feeling as if a Hristian holiday is being forced upon them. I say if someone says they don't celebrate Christmas and they would rather you say nothing or happy holidays, then what is the problem? I think we should be considerate towards others and it is a simple thing to do.
If a person knows that someone else doesn't celebrate Christmas or feels negatively about the holiday and doesn't want it mentioned, it would be reasonable and considerate to avoid doing so. However, if a person hasn't been told that another person feels that way, it's hardly reasonable to expect that the well-wisher read the other person's mind. It's the same sort of thing with people who are adamant that everybody say "merry Christmas" instead of using less-specific holiday phrases (for any reason) and get bent out of shape when some unfortunate near-stranger makes the mistake of wishing them "happy holidays."
Making a point of remembering someone's (known) preferences is always a mark of kindness and respect (or at least self-preservation, if the person's a real curmudgeon). However, it's also considerate and gracious to allow others, especially those who don't know us well, to freely express their own enjoyment of a particular event or season and accept (if we can) their remarks in the friendly or affectionate spirit in which they're often given, even if we don't see things the same way they do. That can be a form of self-preservation too, of course, if one isn't eager to be cast as a social-friction-creating Other or be perceived as rude, but I think that there are also nobler reasons to do it.
I do not celebrate Christmas. This is not a Scrooge thing, I honestly see no real point in it and it seems to be a terribly stressful time for so many people, especially during the money crunch.
At this time of year with so many advertisements about gifts and tables laden with banquets I am always more and more aware of people who will not see a meal today or for many days, or are dying of hunger and diseases that could be cured with simple medicines that they cannot afford.
So I give something extra to charities and ask anyone who has me on their present list to make a donation to the Red Cross or Unicef.
I would ask you to do the same. The gift of life is something you can afford if you just perhaps give up one of those pairs of slippers or box of chocolates. Or just slip a few coins in the RSPCA donation box ... or drop off a few cans of cat and dog food to your local centre.
Ask your child if he, or she, would like to help another child this Christmas and perhaps they may just choose to make a donation instead of having that extra little gift in the stocking. You can make a little card from Santa to thank them. It may just be the present they most remember when they are adults and will create an awareness for them that will embrace life for all.
I totally get what you're saying, and think those are wonderful and thoughtful ideas. If I had children, I would encourage this.
Last edited by 3FCer344892; 12-05-2011 at 09:28 PM.
If a person knows that someone else doesn't celebrate Christmas or feels negatively about the holiday and doesn't want it mentioned, it would be reasonable and considerate to avoid doing so. However, if a person hasn't been told that another person feels that way, it's hardly reasonable to expect that the well-wisher read the other person's mind. It's the same sort of thing with people who are adamant that everybody say "merry Christmas" instead of using less-specific holiday phrases (for any reason) and get bent out of shape when some unfortunate near-stranger makes the mistake of wishing them "happy holidays."
Personally, I've never known anyone strongly on either side of the argument but I'd say in general, if someone knows that many people prefer "Happy Holidays" as an all-encompassing 'nicety', then it might be something I'd recommend using for someone if you don't know them. I'm not saying act angrily towards someone else but rather, if you hear someone say "I prefer Happy Holidays" then it shouldn't be a cause of a major debate.
I know how stressful Christmas season can be with all the "stuff", like parties, shopping, traffic, travel.
Since the kids have grown and married, well 2/3 we have taken the $$$ we would all spend on each other and tossed it into the middle of the table after our Christmas dinner.
Then we decide as a family on what to do with it. Several years we sent it to World Vision, one year we gave it to my sister to help her with her co-pays for breast cancer, last year we gave it to my dil for her mom so she could afford to come out after my granddaughter was born.
A lot of shopping stress gone!
We also exchange names at Thanksgiving with our extended family and friends, around 25+. Limit it to a $25 gift. This has worked out well for many years. Everyone meets at my house Christmas Eve...an easy dinner planned by Angie and I, side dishes and goodies from everyone else....perfect!
For the Advent service at church we added dinner beforehand years ago. This allows families to come for dinner then service. Different groups from church prepare it each week then take the profits for their "causes". This takes a lot of stress off families trying to get kids picked up, fed and then to church.
Personally, I've never known anyone strongly on either side of the argument but I'd say in general, if someone knows that many people prefer "Happy Holidays" as an all-encompassing 'nicety', then it might be something I'd recommend using for someone if you don't know them. I'm not saying act angrily towards someone else but rather, if you hear someone say "I prefer Happy Holidays" then it shouldn't be a cause of a major debate.
I think that you're absolutely correct that using language that people prefer is the ideal thing to do, when their preferences are known. However, it's unfair to any individual to assume that s/he should know what other people prefer, or to take somebody to task because s/he didn't guess one's preferred phrase, especially if the person is a stranger or casual acquaintance. Preferred terms vary by region and population, and a lot of places are mixed. Nobody's going to guess right all the time, and I don't think they should be penalized for not being telepathic. FWIW, I suspect that most of the people where I'm from would probably prefer the term "Merry Christmas," and in most cases that would be a pretty "safe" term to use around strangers and casual acquaintances there. And I do think that if somebody returned a casual acquaintance's wish for a merry Christmas with "I prefer Happy Holidays" in my hometown, that person might get the words they wanted to hear, but s/he'd also probably be perceived as crazy, rude, self-absorbed, high maintenance, and/or stand-offish. Folks probably wouldn't debate him (or her), but I can almost guarantee a person doing that would be talked about (and laughed at) and that the talk would travel. That's probably all right for a person who doesn't need or care about other people, will never see the Merry Christmasers or Happy Holidayers again (although if that were the case, why bother "correcting" them in the first place?), or is indifferent to or desires being considered strange, antagonistic, or an outsider. But I don't think it's a good way to be perceived if one wants to build or become part of a business or sustained-but-casual social group that includes the people using the offending phrase, or if one's trying to build relationships and a good reputation so s/he can increase his/her odds of fighting battles that are actually worth fighting (like poverty, pollution, graft, corruption, etc.). Just my take on it. To some people it may be worth the effort and the risks.
I think that you're absolutely correct that using language that people prefer is the ideal thing to do, when their preferences are known. However, it's unfair to any individual to assume that s/he should know what other people prefer, or to take somebody to task because s/he didn't guess one's preferred phrase, especially if the person is a stranger or casual acquaintance.
I wasn't taking anyone to task. My view is that Happy Holidays is all-encompassing and Merry Christmas is more narrow. If you are at a church, then most likely Merry Christmas would be different than if you were at store. Even people who belong to a religion without winter holidays would most likely understand and appreciate Happy Holidays. So overall, I know some may cling to Merry Christmas, but I think Happy Holidays is more generic and could possibly be better language for someone if you don't know if they celebrate Christmas.
I wasn't taking anyone to task. My view is that Happy Holidays is all-encompassing and Merry Christmas is more narrow. If you are at a church, then most likely Merry Christmas would be different than if you were at store. Even people who belong to a religion without winter holidays would most likely understand and appreciate Happy Holidays. So overall, I know some may cling to Merry Christmas, but I think Happy Holidays is more generic and could possibly be better language for someone if you don't know if they celebrate Christmas.
I wasn't taking anyone to task. My view is that Happy Holidays is all-encompassing and Merry Christmas is more narrow. If you are at a church, then most likely Merry Christmas would be different than if you were at store. Even people who belong to a religion without winter holidays would most likely understand and appreciate Happy Holidays. So overall, I know some may cling to Merry Christmas, but I think Happy Holidays is more generic and could possibly be better language for someone if you don't know if they celebrate Christmas.
This is not a generic holiday. It is celebrating the birth of Christ along with billions of people around the world.
This is not a generic holiday. It is celebrating the birth of Christ along with billions of people around the world.
Christmas isn't the only winter holiday though and my point was that people may want to express holiday greetings to those that may not be Christian, may not celebrate Christmas or may even have their own holiday celebrations around Christmas time. I wouldn't say Merry Christmas to a Hindu but maybe others would, for example.
And I wanted to add, the idea seems to be embracing the fact that others may have different winter holiday traditions rather than imposing your own traditions on them. That is why I think an all-encompassing greeting sounds like a nice thing to do.
Christmas isn't the only winter holiday though and my point was that people may want to express holiday greetings to those that may not be Christian, may not celebrate Christmas or may even have their own holiday celebrations around Christmas time. I wouldn't say Merry Christmas to a Hindu but maybe others would, for example.
And I wanted to add, the idea seems to be embracing the fact that others may have different winter holiday traditions rather than imposing your own traditions on them. That is why I think an all-encompassing greeting sounds like a nice thing to do.
It might be a nice thing to do, but I don't think wishing somebody a merry Christmas is imposing one's traditions on them. Ignorant or insensitive? Maybe, although in an area where a majority of the population identifies as Christian, why would (or should) people worry about the possibility of unintentionally offending the religious sensibilities of the non-Christian minority? It would be like telling people in (American) football country that they should avoid using terms that are specific to the sport they care about because it might offend the few soccer or rugby fans floating around. People who get offended about friendly sentiments clothed in words they don't like will probably just lose the friendly sentiments. An imposition in any meaningful sense of the word? Hardly. And when some people say "Merry Christmas," they really are referring to a specific religious event, not just expressing general good feelings for anybody who might happen to celebrate something around the same time (or not).
It might be a nice thing to do, but I don't think wishing somebody a merry Christmas is imposing one's traditions on them. Ignorant or insensitive? Maybe, although in an area where a majority of the population identifies as Christian, why would (or should) people worry about the possibility of unintentionally offending the religious sensibilities of the non-Christian minority? It would be like telling people in (American) football country that they should avoid using terms that are specific to the sport they care about because it might offend the few soccer or rugby fans floating around. People who get offended about friendly sentiments clothed in words they don't like will probably just lose the friendly sentiments. An imposition in any meaningful sense of the word? Hardly. And when some people say "Merry Christmas," they really are referring to a specific religious event, not just expressing general good feelings for anybody who might happen to celebrate something around the same time (or not).
Honestly, I would say it is insensitive if you are saying that the majority shouldn't care about the feelings of the minority. I said above that I've known quite a few people who have had bad experiences with Christians in the past and feel as if others do try to impose their beliefs on them.
I do feel that Christmas has turned into a secular holiday and you do find many non-Christians celebrating it in their own way. So Merry Christmas to me means a general Happy Winter Holidays type greeting. For others, they may feel that it isn't inclusive of their traditions, especially for things like city/government sponsored events.
I guess for me, I feel it is important to use all-inclusive language. I live in a diverse area and I work in a job with people of all different backgrounds.
This is not a generic holiday. It is celebrating the birth of Christ along with billions of people around the world.
^this^ Is why we have issues this time of year. I know someone said it, but I have to ask where bargoo are you living that you don't know that other people of other religions are celebrating holidays besides Christmas? I'm 30 years old, but I remember in grade school understanding that some of the kids celebrated Hanukkah and the winter is a generic holiday season.
With in this winter holiday season, lives the many specific holidays that people celebrate. While this time of year is mostly focused on the Christian roots, it does not give people the right to disreguard other people's beliefs and traditions. This time of year is not about celebrating the birth of Christ for everyone. Heck, there are plenty of people that celebrate Christmas, and don't even believe all the Jesus stuff. You might not like that, but as my step mother says, "it is what it is."
Having said that, I see nothing wrong with saying Merry Christmas, if your intentions are good. I was raised Catholic so I tend to say Merry Christmas, but I say Happy Holidays as well. To me, anything said with warmth and good wishes is what matters. And anyone that says "Merry Christmas" with an agenda of saying it to prove that they can. Like its not meant warmly, but rather as their part in the "war on Christmas" and that's their way of "defending" their belief....well, then they have lost the real meaning of Christmas. If they are saying it with anger or bitterness in their heart, then they need to do a little soul searching, as far as I'm concerned.
Whatever you say to others, as long as its meant with kindness, that's all that should matter.
, or has their panties or boxers in a bunch, because someone wished them...
