Losing weight and dating...

Melfuchsia · 11-24-2011, 01:35 PM

for you single chickes out there... Do you have a "number" at which you will feel comfortable to get out there and go out on dates? I'm trying to figure this out for myself.

Although I have lost over 50 pounds, I don't feel near sexy enough to go out on any date whatsoever!

Do you?

FassGal · 11-24-2011, 02:04 PM

Hmmm... interesting question. I don't have a number. I have a pair of pants that I want to look abfab in before I start putting myself out there. Also, I must fit into Bebe size 10 dresses again before I feel like I'm ready to go HARD on the dating scene! (fistbump emoticon would go nicely here)

juliana77 · 11-24-2011, 03:50 PM

I don't really have a number... I figure I will know when I get there. Maybe when I start getting some unsolicited attention? The holidays are too busy for dating, anyway. So I will see how I feel in January and go from there!

Melfuchsia · 11-24-2011, 04:00 PM

Yep, Fassgal... the perfect first date dress is as good as a number... even better, I'd say.

juliana77, I agree with you, the holidays are not the best for dating. but it sure is a great way to start a brand new year!

Scarlett · 11-25-2011, 12:36 AM

I have a number, I always said below 175. At this weight I wear a comfortable size 10 and it's the lowest number I've ever seen at my adult height. Now that I'm in the neighborhood I'm thinking 170 so that I'm clean past the 173 mark for a healthy BMI.

Regardless, dating isn't a priority atm. I'm living at home and trying to sort out some career issues. I don't have a car and my mom would drive me up a wall if I started dating right now. I hope to be moved out and dating come next year.

silentarctic · 11-25-2011, 10:12 AM

No Number, I've never dated, I figure if I ever get asked out that would be when I would start. I need to just keep focusing on me and becoming a person that *I* like. (Fitter, more active, more kind...etc) U need to be happy with myself even though I'm not sure thats a completely acheivable goal!

seagirl · 11-25-2011, 10:18 AM

No, I realized weight doesn't really matter with respect to dating. 3 of my heaviest friends are in wonderful relationships with great guys. My skinny friend is with a guy who doesn't like her to go out and givers her a hard time if she gains a pound. I'm comfortable in my body and know that the right guy will love it.

MedChick87 · 11-25-2011, 03:13 PM

It was never really a specific number with me, but the more I lost weight, the more I dated b/c I was so much more confident! I had dates at my highest weight but I was SO incredibly self-conscious about how I looked and I was always so paranoid about how the guy was perceiving me. I think I drove most guys away by assuming that they weren't interested. Now that I've lost 50 lbs, I've finally realized that I deserve an awesome guy and he has to impress ME! I also just put myself out there a lot more.

I wouldn't limit dating to weighing a certain amount. I would focus on loving yourself (as cheesy as that is) and practice having confidence (yes, it's an acquired skill!). Guys are attracted to really confident women. Yes, some of them aren't attracted to heavier girls, but most guys aren't as aware of weight as girls are. Most guys would probably underestimate a girl's weight. For instance, my current bf isn't attracted to "fat girls" (so he says)...but hello?! I weigh over 180 lbs! And he's definitely attracted to me. I think guys' definitions of fat are not as severe as we think they are.

unpretty · 11-29-2011, 09:29 AM

I dont have a number, I'll date when I'm thin enough to actually attract someone (this will be measured by the amount of looks I get on nights out :P)

unpretty · 11-29-2011, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MedChick87

I think guys' definitions of fat are not as severe as we think they are.

My experiences have taught me otherwise. A lot of guys my age (early 20s) which i've come across want "skinny girls with curves". What the heck even is that?! I asked one of them, he said skinny girls with boobs and butt. Don't you just love society these days.

mammasita · 11-29-2011, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seagirl

No, I realized weight doesn't really matter with respect to dating. 3 of my heaviest friends are in wonderful relationships with great guys. My skinny friend is with a guy who doesn't like her to go out and givers her a hard time if she gains a pound. I'm comfortable in my body and know that the right guy will love it.

COSIGN. It's all about how YOU feel about yourself. Supermodels get treated like **** and cheated on....doesnt matter that they are a size 0 and 105lbs.

Self esteem transcends the number on the scale.

MedChick87 · 11-29-2011, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unpretty

My experiences have taught me otherwise. A lot of guys my age (early 20s) which i've come across want "skinny girls with curves". What the heck even is that?! I asked one of them, he said skinny girls with boobs and butt. Don't you just love society these days.

Well I guess there's no hope for me then! Even if I get skinny, I won't have much boobs OR butt! Oh well lol

unpretty · 11-29-2011, 11:00 PM

Yeah but I like to think that those guys are d*ckheads lol. When I lose weight I am going to have no boobs because I'm a pear, but i'll still have chunky arms because thats my shape unfortunately.

MariaMaria · 11-30-2011, 12:37 PM

skinny with curves = breast implants, usually.

Note that most of these guys who express that they need, want, or deserve some chick with a perfect body are grossly imperfect themselves. Either they'll grow up and clue in or they won't, but unless they become very, very rich they'll be lonely if they continue to expect physical perfection in other human beings.

ShesLosingIt · 12-01-2011, 08:49 AM

No magic number, I just sort of figured I'd know when I was ready and, for the most part, I did. My divorce finalized in May, I hit 150lbs lost in June and then in November I put up an online profile. I'm still not at goal weight but I figured if someone can't like me for who am I now, I don't want them in my life!

I say if you feel like you're ready for it, regardless of size, go for it! I was scared as **** to put my picture out there and then I was in total shock when real live attractive, witty, educated, employed and relatively fit men were messaging me. Sure, a few were just looking for one thing and a few may or may not have been chubby chasers but most are just guys that share the same interests I do and find me (gasp!) attractive regardless of my size.

You'll never know what may come out of it unless you shoot for it, that's my outlook.