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Old 07-25-2011, 10:00 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,719

S/C/G: 197.5/180.5/160

Height: 5'3"

Default Let me vent and pat myself on the back

I hit 30 lbs lost this weekend. WOO HOO! Go me. I has been a very slow process and I hardly lost weight in July because I could not seem to stay on plan. I am halfway to my personal goal weight and so looking forward to the little black dress I'm gonna buy and party I am going to throw when I get there.
(The above is my pat on the back)

This is my vent. Why, when I either choose to share my success or when people ask about it, they pay me a back handed complement. I constantly hear, I wish I had your will power, I just can't lose weight, what is your secret, blah, blah, blah. I want to look at them and say, there is NO magic pill, it is really, really HARD WORK and it has taken me a LONG time to number one find my own determination to work on ME and continue to do it.
Can you tell I am PMSing? Why can't they just say "Great Job, I am so proud of you?"
I would not be where I am without this forum. The support and advice I find and receive here has helped me so much that I cannot express it in words.
Thank you all for being here and letting me vent.
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Old 07-25-2011, 10:09 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,731


1st: Congrats on losing 30 pounds!!!! Hurray hurray!

2nd: I don't think they mean it in a bad way. They just don't see how it can be accomplished, and yet here you are doing it! There's nothing wrong with just saying "it's hard work". They're admiring your accomplishments, and they want to follow in your footsteps. What's that saying about the most sincere form of flattery?

Again, congratulations! I'm so happy for you Keep it up!
~Made of star stuff~
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Old 07-25-2011, 11:57 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Scotland
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Height: 4'11"


1st: Good woman! Well done you! You must be feeling great.

2nd: I think it's one of those situations where it's impossible to say the right thing, to be honest, and anything you say could potentially be wrong. (Bereavement is the most obvious example of this problem.) It's a very sensitive subject for most people, and it can be hard for them to think through regarding their own weight, so they may not realise that what they think is a compliment is actually really annoying. They went to some trouble not to say, "Damn it, why can you lose weight when I can't manage to?" after all, so they think they're being really helpful!

And come to that, there are some situations where compliments always seem to come out oddly. I've always had long hair. It's waist-length now, but until a year or so ago it was fingertip length. People comment on it all the time and always have. Probably 80% of the compliments I've had about my hair have been the expression, "You've got such long hair!" which hey, I already knew. But the way they say it makes it clear that it's intended as a compliment, so I thank them nicely. I've been guilty of saying, "You've had a haircut!" instead of, "Your new haircut looks great!" myself, after all.
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Old 07-26-2011, 04:35 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Congrats on dropping 30 lbs

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