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How to build up your self-confidence on the dance floor?

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Old 07-17-2011, 08:57 PM   #1
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Default How to build up your self-confidence on the dance floor?

I'm embarassed to even confess because I sound like a high school girl instead of a 30-something year old woman. My problem is that I get really shy when I'm slow dancing with a man that I find attractive. I find dancing (even if it's in a ballroom stance pose) with a man intimdating regardless of whether it's salsa, ballroom style, or whatever. I went out last night with some friends and we ended up in a lounge. A very handsome man approached me and asked me to dance. When he and I started to slow dance, I had a hard time letting him lead. I just can't seem to relax and let a man control my body movement on the dance floor. Perhaps it may have something to do with me being sexually abused by a relative when I was just a child. It doesn't help that I feel insecure about my body to begin with.

I want to take some dance lessons so that I can indeed let a man take the lead on the dance floor. I want to build up my sexual confidence. I was thinking about taking bellydancing classes; however I don't think that would help in terms of becoming comfortable dancing with a man. Any suggestions on what type of dancing I should sign up for?
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Old 07-17-2011, 10:01 PM   #2
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Preaching to the choir here!!!! I guess the only kind of dancing I've ever done is at a bar with a dance floor that plays pretty upbeat hip hop/dance music. And that was once. Bumping and grinding you know. I know how you feel, because on that floor I am just fine dancing with my girlfriends being silly, but dancing with other guys - I can't do it. My friends asked some guy to come dance with me and it was just an awkward experience the entire night. I just didn't feel like creating that intimacy. I think it would help to realize that if a guy wants to dance with you (unless you have rotten friends like mine who put up guys to approach you), he probably likes you - so that should boost your confidance. I have some intimacy issues due to similar situations you are describing, so I know it can be hard and uncomfortable when you have a past. I don't know if you're a drinker, but I know that even though I never drink in excess - a few loosen me up enough to the point that I feel good. Also, get yourself a pretty outfit, sexy shoes, something you are comfortable ina nd looks good I think what you should focus on is any partner dancing class. Belly dancing would increase your confidance as well. You can also do things like zumba - anything that will get you feeling more confidant with how your body moves.
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Old 07-17-2011, 10:26 PM   #3
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I think you're on the right track... find some classes in your area and practice. Practice dancing AND practicing being around men that way. It's a great low-key, no expectations, structured format for that. I don't think it really matters what type you go for... salsa or ballroom. Salsa might be a bit more sexually-charged, but it could also be more fun/hip/younger. Check out the classes and see what feels more comfy! Have a good time!

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Old 07-19-2011, 11:09 PM   #4
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If you can salsa dance, you can ANY dance! Sexy, formal, all of it - because it's such a sexy formal dance, lol. I'd go with salsa
"..I think you need to stop following misery's lead.
Shine away. Shine away. Shine away.
Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are?
We're all waiting on your supernova, 'cause that's who you are.
And you've only begun to shine.."
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