Originally Posted by Esofia
I'd probably go for a business-as-usual anniversary card, just make sure that the wording is something utterly bland and neutral, so that it's least likely to spark off emotions. I wouldn't use that blank card, save it for something else. I'd get a very boring, bog standard anniversary card with the text already printed on the inside, so that you're not personalising it much. Your father may not know that your mother has told you she's thinking of leaving, and you do not want to stir.
Meanwhile, are you being literal when you talk about your mother planning her escape? Is she frightened? In danger? Is the usual difficulty of taking sides when parents are divorcing going to be particularly bad here?
That's the problem -- there are no bland anniversary cards. They all mention love and happiness and commitment. *sigh* My sister got them a thinking of you card. Perhaps I'll do the same. And no, my father does not know that my sister or I know anything and you are right, I don't want to stir anything up.
My mother's physical safety is not a concern from what I know. My father is inflicting more emotional abuse onto her which he has been doing for years and years now. He tries to do it with my sister and I too but we don't put up with his manipulating crap. My mother on the other hand cannot financially support herself and she has no family. Her father, mother and brother all died. She feels isolated and stuck. My father methodically took away her backbone over the past 40+ years of marriage. My mother was never ever independant.
As much as I would love to remain neutral, I know I'll wind up taking my mother's side. As difficult as she can be sometimes the things my dad does to her is obnoxious, absurd and degrading. I have seen it happen so it's not a he said/she said situation.
Just a sad situation all around.
Restarting my journey exactly 4 years from when I first started in January 2011. Reached my goal weight in 2012 and regained half of it back.
I never should have left 3FC!