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Please Come to Our Wedding? Here's the Credit Card Form!

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Old 07-11-2011, 08:04 PM   #1
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Default Please Come to Our Wedding? Here's the Credit Card Form!

OK...
My husband's little sis and her SO are finally tying the knot. We got an email invite. She wants a destination wedding, it is at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico. The date is at the end of May 2012. Attached to the invite is a credit card slip to fax to the travel agent. Cost per person: 750.00, not including airfare (add 450.00 per person). So for my hubby and I to attend it will be around 2500-3000 dollars. My own wedding did not cost this much, and I'm including the honeymoon here. And yes, I was married in 1999, not 1979, so you can have a wedding on a budget.

So, does anyone find this shocking and tacky way to be invited to a wedding?

Also, I plan on conceiving child #2 late this Fall, so I will be preggers, and unable to drink the all-inclusive booze, do any rock climbing, snorkeling (if the hotel has a policy), etc. So this is a huge inconvenience. I don't mind shelling out cash for a trip that I would not be a huge pregnant lady at, but this just depresses me. So DH and I are weighing our options. Maybe fly in, stay at a cheaper resort nearby, and attend the wedding, fly back out the next day. Well, the travel agent informed us that for us to attend the ceremony without staying at the hotel where the wedding is, we'd have to pay a 88-99 dollar entrance fee per person! WTF??? Really?

So, I just want to vent and get sympathy, LOL!! This is the first wedding invite that came with a credit card slip and is asking each guest to shell out 1000-1500 dollars to attend. Why do people want to have their family members stay with them while they honeymoon? I don't understand.

What makes this worse, is that my DH's family is poor. Several are working minimum wage jobs, DH and I are OK, but we are on one income because I no longer teach because I am being a SAHM, which definitely does not yield the income we used to have. My BIL is the only one who makes a really good living, and I think is going to get "stuck" paying for the relatives who don't have the cash. Then, I am afraid if we decline, due to $$, he will insist on paying, and we are not OK with that. Ughh.

What is this world coming to? Am I crazy?
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:12 PM   #2
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:12 PM   #3
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So, does anyone find this shocking and tacky way to be invited to a wedding?
Yes. I'm right with you on this. I guess destination weddings are nice if everybody's got the money, time, and health to enjoy them, but it doesn't seem like a lot of people - including your husband's family - do. Being asked to shell out thousands of dollars of your own money just to attend another person's wedding as a guest is a bit ridiculous, IMO.

Could your husband go by himself? Is there anyway you guys can bow out gracefully?
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:17 PM   #4
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Your SIL needs a hard slap in the face.
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:22 PM   #5
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I think it's horribly tacky. A destination wedding is one thing, a credit card form is absolutely insane. I wouldn't go. And I wouldn't be ok if DH went, either. I would decline, and I would not accept help from the other brother. HE is insane if he pays for everyone.
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:22 PM   #6
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Well, she is a sweet person, I've known her forever, I'm glad they are tying the knot, but man, I don't understand why they went this route.

I want to bow out gracefully, and definitely a pregnancy with a travel restriction could be our perfect way out...however, I think my DH really wants to go, just to be able to be there. This just sucks...
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:24 PM   #7
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I would decline, and I would not accept help from the other brother. HE is insane if he pays for everyone.
Um, yeah. He is insane. 2 relatives are living with him, and he can't say no, and he is always being taken advantage of. Sucks.
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:31 PM   #8
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..................................
This exactly.

It's her choice to get married at the venue that suits her, but to attach credit card information is the pinacle of tackiness.

I was married overseas in the country we were living at the time (husband's home country), and the only person from my family able to attend due to travel expenses was my mother. Destination weddings are strange to me; both families are expected to travel?! I'd say skip the wedding and put the money towards your own family's needs.

My husband was unable to travel to his sister's wedding after we relocated to the US. We had young children, few vacation days available, and the price to travel was just too steep. Everyone survived his not attending (and the sister ended up divorcing several years later...).
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:32 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by fattymcfatty View Post
OK...
My husband's little sis and her SO are finally tying the knot. We got an email invite. She wants a destination wedding, it is at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico. The date is at the end of May 2012. Attached to the invite is a credit card slip to fax to the travel agent. Cost per person: 750.00, not including airfare (add 450.00 per person). So for my hubby and I to attend it will be around 2500-3000 dollars. My own wedding did not cost this much, and I'm including the honeymoon here. And yes, I was married in 1999, not 1979, so you can have a wedding on a budget.

So, does anyone find this shocking and tacky way to be invited to a wedding?

Also, I plan on conceiving child #2 late this Fall, so I will be preggers, and unable to drink the all-inclusive booze, do any rock climbing, snorkeling (if the hotel has a policy), etc. So this is a huge inconvenience. I don't mind shelling out cash for a trip that I would not be a huge pregnant lady at, but this just depresses me. So DH and I are weighing our options. Maybe fly in, stay at a cheaper resort nearby, and attend the wedding, fly back out the next day. Well, the travel agent informed us that for us to attend the ceremony without staying at the hotel where the wedding is, we'd have to pay a 88-99 dollar entrance fee per person! WTF??? Really?

So, I just want to vent and get sympathy, LOL!! This is the first wedding invite that came with a credit card slip and is asking each guest to shell out 1000-1500 dollars to attend. Why do people want to have their family members stay with them while they honeymoon? I don't understand.

What makes this worse, is that my DH's family is poor. Several are working minimum wage jobs, DH and I are OK, but we are on one income because I no longer teach because I am being a SAHM, which definitely does not yield the income we used to have. My BIL is the only one who makes a really good living, and I think is going to get "stuck" paying for the relatives who don't have the cash. Then, I am afraid if we decline, due to $$, he will insist on paying, and we are not OK with that. Ughh.

What is this world coming to? Am I crazy?
well, everyone is entitled to do their wedding the way they want to. With that said, it is probably understood that destination weddings (unless paid for by the bride and groom) are going to draw a much smaller crowd. I would be very honest with them, and explain that while you would love to be there and blah, blah, blah...there is a limitation to your budget. No one can "assume" you have the money to do anything in particular. Everyone has a different comfort zone.

Will there be a local reception afterwards? Perhaps volunteer to help them organize one, and let that be a part or all of your wedding gift to them. There will likely be alot of folks that can't afford the time or money to go to Mexico, but would like to celebrate with the couple.

We get so caught up in showing our love and caring with material things and with money. What is really meaningful here? What can you contribute or do that signifies real meaning, not financial sacrafice? The entire event is to enjoy and celebrate the union of these two people who found themselves in the midst of this crazy world.

By the way, hasn't anyone paid attention to the violence in MExico?? Why would they want to chance something there...it is spilling into resorts, too. I know a group of people who were robbed in the cab ride from the airport to the hotel...set up...ugly stuff.
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:59 PM   #10
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Wow... you're going to have to weigh your options carefully, but if you and the husband decide you won't be able to go the sis-in-law will absolutely have to understand why.

Destination weddings sound lovely, but the reality is that not everyone is able to attend due to timing or financial reasons. Brides and grooms have to accept that fact.
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:14 PM   #11
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We have gotten out of line here from birthday parties to engagements to baby showers to weddings...

everyone trying to one up the other....or....not look too "cheap".....

if you can afford and want a fancy wedding that is expensive then fine..,


but to "expect" others to join in at their cost is absurd!
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:24 PM   #12
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That is an unreasonably massive amount of money. I would be extremely upset if a family member expected me to shell out that kind of money. As long as she's not offended when you decline, it's just tacky - but if she's offended by you guys not being able to come, that's just insane!
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:26 PM   #13
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Honestly, I wouldn't go. I would break it to them gently and see if they can have it live-streamed. I had a friend who had a beautiful wedding in Vegas and several of us had sall children who couldnt go. They set up a website and someone put it on as it was happening. We were still able to watch at least.

I always wanted a destination wedding. We just want to elope somewhere exotic and came back and throw a party for everyone to attend.
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Old 07-11-2011, 09:42 PM   #14
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Yeah, I wouldn't go, especially since it's in Mexico. That's scary stuff and you don't want to chance something happening with a baby on the way. They probably think by sending it out this early it will give people a chance to save for it. =P Good suggestions here on how to deal with the situation.
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Old 07-11-2011, 10:02 PM   #15
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Let us know what you decide to do! Good luck!
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