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Old 07-05-2011, 11:14 AM   #1
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Default Did you just seriously eat all that?

I spent the weekend with my family vacationing at my mom's cottage. My fam (love them to death) has a history of over eating. My sister struggles with her weight. Actually, I think she's not too terribly over weight but she's unhappy with her weight, so I try to support her as much as I can.

Well, at lunch, we grilled food and I had my single hot dog and chips. On my sister's plate, was one hot dog, one brat and one tamale. And she was just getting started! Without thinking, and honestly, without knowing it was all just for her, I saw her plate and said, "Are you bringing food to mom, too?" thinking I was selfish for not offering to bring my mom a plate of food.

She looked at me and I swear, poison darts came out of her eyes! She thought I was being a smart arse. When she realized that I seriously thought all that food could not possibly be for her, this look of understanding came over her. She got it.

I'm happy to say that she only ate half of everything. She got a taste of each goodie, but didn't consume all those calories.

Later, after imbibing in the hot sun all day and night, my mom ruthlessly made fun of her "fat" neighbor. Their house is only 25 feet away from where we were sitting. I'm sure they had to hear. There was no power, so windows were open, no white noise.

I thought my mom was the biggest jerk ever. The very next day, we went to breakfast buffet. My mom, thinking she was sticking to a "good" diet, filled her plate with only bacon. No carbs, right? OMG, she proceeded to go up to the buffet, even cutting in line, FOUR more times for more bacon.

I swear, she had to have eaten a pound of it.

REALLY?! I wanted to strangle her. Not only because it was not a healthy breakfast, but because she is over weight herself, and she was just cruel talking about her neighbor that way.

What is it about portions, content and frequency of eating that some people just don't seem to get?
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:29 AM   #2
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I'm not sure.
I know that before I started eating better and just eating smaller portions, I didn't really see anything wrong with how much I was eating. In fact I thought my friends, who were healthy and eating good sized portions, were the ones not eating enough.
I think everyone has that, "OMG" moment where they realize how much they've been eating or even what they've been eating. But I honestly believe you can't really push someone to this point. I speak from experience, cause I know people had been pushing me to be healthy for years but their cries fell on deaf ears. The realization came on its own.

But yeah, not sure what the point of my response was but I'd be upset at my mother too if she made those comments. :/ That's just cruel.
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:30 AM   #3
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I read your post with a constant "ughhhhhh" in my head. That is so frustrating! I work with a guy who makes fairly frequent comments about peoples' weight (e.g. "That woman is feeding her daughter too much." or "All the hefty girls went around saying they were cheerleaders when really they just threw the skinny girls up in the air."). It can be infuriating, but what makes it even more outrageous is that his own mother is not unlike the people he criticizes! I do not understand at all.

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Old 07-05-2011, 11:34 AM   #4
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My mother once said to me "That is quite a butt you are getting there".

(so mean!)

and I said "Well, I'm just trying to catch up to you MOM".

That was the LAST time she made a judge-y comment about my weight.
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Old 07-05-2011, 11:36 AM   #5
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on another note, I read an interesting book called "Mindless Eating" and although I don't really agree with a lot of this guys' research (I think it's skewed) he does make some interesting points about why we eat such large portions and what a difference visual cues make.

And about how if food is convenient, we will eat more of it.. it was an interesting read, if you take the info with a grain of salt.
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Old 07-05-2011, 01:26 PM   #6
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My family and friends always made me feel fat when I was 130 pounds!!!
I actually looked gorgeous with a little bit of beyonce butt and slightly puffy arms back then... and still I was always not good enough... with a washboard stomach and smooth legs.
People will always nag and hurt you if you want.
The reason I got fatter is because I already thought myself so ugly thanks to everyone around me.
It took me 8 years away from home to get a mind of my own and realise they were all either crazy or plain mean.
I'll get back to those kilos and finally strut my stuff as I should be.
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Old 07-05-2011, 01:36 PM   #7
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I love my mom. But she tends to take pride in being smaller then me (though, I'm catching up, hehe...). She shows it in small ways, doesn't come out and just say it. And really, I can't blame her, no matter how sweet you are as a person...what 56 year old wouldn't be pleased they were thinner then a 23 yr old?
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Old 07-05-2011, 02:15 PM   #8
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My mother is great---She's 4 ft 11, blind, and a real firecracker. She and my sister (my mom is widowed & lives w/ my sister) work out EVERY DAY. My sister sets my mom up on the treadmill, turns on her Ipod shuffle, and my mom goes for an hour! She also does sit-ups, occasional weights, cleans house for at least an hour a day, and eats like a monk (plain oatmeal for breakfast, salad and broiled fish for dinner, etc.). She is so blunt and driven that she just cannot understand someone like me or my younger sister who give in to indulgence to the point that we wind up 50 lbs. heavier than we should be. She believes that there is no losing weight without suffering.

I remember seeing her hug my younger sister (on a visit), and overtly feeling the rolls on my sister's sides and back and exclaiming "My God!"

Gotta love our moms!

Last edited by lin43; 07-05-2011 at 02:16 PM.
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Old 07-05-2011, 02:30 PM   #9
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I think that weight issues are one of the last things it is ok to be hateful to people about. Recently watched the clip of Michelle Obama talking about childhood obesity and how billions of healthcare dollars are spent on weight related illnesses, and comments like that make it even worse. Heck, people are more sensitive to alcoholics, child abusers, and married people that screw around! People don't dream of commenting on things like that!!!
I have found that those that focus on another's weight/food issues have much bigger problems and are simply diverting attention and making themselves feel superior.
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Old 07-05-2011, 05:32 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by gonnadoitthistime View Post
I have found that those that focus on another's weight/food issues have much bigger problems and are simply diverting attention and making themselves feel superior.
I agree. My mom hardly ever says anything cruel about an overweight person, so I was shocked when she made a negative remark about someone a couple of weeks ago. She's on hospice, and she was assigned a new aide. She called me to complain, telling me that she didn't move very fast. I'm thinking, why does she NEED to move fast? Then she says, "She weighs over 200 lbs. Course, she lost 100 lbs." Only thing I could say was, "Well, she should be commended for losing 100 lbs!" Mom just kinda stuttered, and said, "Well, yeah."

Being overweight all of my adult life, I know, for a fact, that so much of it is due to psychological issues. Low self-esteem being a big culprit. NO ONE should judge anyone until they've really walked in that person's shoes. We all know that, just some of us aren't too good at practicing it.
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