You aren't asking anything unreasonable. "What's going on? What time will you be home?" is normal stuff.
DH and I cover that every day either before bed or in the morning because in the household we need to know what's going on.
It isn't that we can't go be with other friends. But common courtesy means you tell people what's going on -- if something happens you can be reached, they can make their own plans and not be waiting around on you, etc.
Whatever's going on, you're evidently very unhappy in the relationship and communicating badly. It doesn't sound particularly salvageable, although if you love each other and are both willing to work on it, it can be worth trying relationship counselling (which isn't sounding likely). When you get out of this and recover, and it can take a while to get your head clear from this sort of thing, do remember that in a healthy relationship people still have friends, spend time with them, are affectionate towards them at an appropriate level, and don't get all furtive about it.
Thought so. Especially after I just question it for a second and he gets defensive and starts yelling. I'm so done with this. I deserve a happy life.
I'm so sorry your dealing with this. Like someone else just said, don't let him try to come back once the "new car smell" wears off on this chick, and he wants to come back to you. There are TONS of decent guys out there who wouldn't put you through this, so go make room for the right guy to come into your life.
You've gotten lots of good advice and it sounds like you know what you want to do, but I figured I'd pipe in since this hits REALLY close to home.
Just yesterday I broke up with my bf for cheating. We started dating end of last year and for the first few months I felt like something weird was going on. He told me we were 100% exclusive, he was in love with me, etc....but he never took phone calls in front of me, he was constantly hanging out with his "best friend" (i.e. another girl), and many other things. Ultimately, I ended up talking to her and finding out that she was his gf for the first 2 months of our supposed relationship. I broke up with him, obviously. Then, stupid me, I take him back after a few weeks b/c he convinced me that he'd changed and I was the only girl he wanted to be with. I loved him too, so I fell for it.
Well, needless to say he hadn't changed. I found facebook messages between him and another girl yesterday. The point is, trust your instincts, above all else. I think you know this, but your bf is exhibiting ALL the signs my ex was when he was cheating. I'm not saying they're actually doing anything, but emotional cheating is still cheating in my eyes. If there was nothing going on between him and this girl, he wouldn't feel the need to lie about being with her and not talking to her in front of you.
Also, if he tries to get you to stay, remember that people like that RARELY change. It happens, I suppose. But mostly they just get better at hiding it.
Trust your intuition. If he has a reason to be dishonest with you he is more than likely hiding something and the fact he becomes defensive when you breach the subject is a dead giveaway. It will drive both of you crazy. And I'm really sorry about this. Try to remember that it has nothing to do with you. It's all him.
