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Maybe I should have helped her?

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Old 06-05-2011, 04:43 PM   #1
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Default Maybe I should have helped her?

Last night, as my 11 yr old daughter and I were leaving a restaurant, a woman approached us in the parking lot and asked me if I could help her get a room.
She started rambling about her father was a drug addict and he had a prostitute at his house and she had hitch-hiked to get away from him and she'd called the cops.
I just told her that I couldn't help her and grabbed my daughter's hand and walked to our car.
It was obvious to me that she was on drugs from the way she was rambling and she had prescription drug bottles in her hand.
However, afterwards, I felt guilty and thought maybe I should have helped her?

What would you have done?
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:46 PM   #2
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I would have done just as you did. She is a panhandler.
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:48 PM   #3
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In this situation I would have done the same as you. You can't put yourself and your daughter at risk trying to help someone who obviously has problems that cannot be mended with a night in a hotel.
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:50 PM   #4
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I would of done the same thing..
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Old 06-05-2011, 04:50 PM   #5
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The only thing different I might have done is phone the police after safely away from the area.
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Old 06-05-2011, 05:21 PM   #6
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I would have done the same thing, people helping someone on drugs just makes it longer until they can finally hit rock bottom and hopefully finally get their life on track.
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Old 06-05-2011, 06:28 PM   #7
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I would have told her where a homeless shelter/free meals were in the area if I knew, and not given her anything. I volunteer with feeding the homeless, but would not give a homeless person money.
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:12 PM   #8
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I would have ignored her and kept moving. You did the right thing. Protect yourself. It's not that I don't have compassion, but you can't save or help everyone. Or be expected to. And sometimes, no matter what help is given or offered, the lifestyle will not change.
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:49 PM   #9
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That's one of the oldest scams in the book (right next to "My car broke down and I live in the 'burbs, can you help me out", "I need Pampers for my baby" and the oldie but goodie "I'm trying to get back on my feet and I'm in a transient hotel with my child but we're going to get put out tomorrow, can you spare $20?). So yeah, you did the right thing.
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Old 06-05-2011, 10:20 PM   #10
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You did the right thing, INCLUDING talking to her directly and telling her you can't help. You have no idea if she's lying or not, but she's a human being obviously with significant problems and you have no idea how much acknowledging her presence and talking to her with respect helps a person like that, mentally and emotionally.
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Old 06-05-2011, 10:41 PM   #11
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Your first job as a mother is to protect your child from possible harm...

you did that!
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Old 06-05-2011, 10:43 PM   #12
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I seriously saw a guy two days ago talking on his cell phone while holding a sign that he needed money. Uhm, priorities??? You can't eat then you really can't afford a phone!

I would have done as you did, or maybe called the police dept. I would not have given her money or a room. There are shelters for that.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:00 PM   #13
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I do give the guy at the 7-11 in Beverly Hills change for coffee every now and then at 4:30am....

But then he is entertaining....he talks for hours to the Red Box outside the store....political....entertaining...sad...but entertaining...
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:04 AM   #14
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You def did the right thing. You had your child there and the last thing you need is to get mugged, which def could have happened. We always tell our kids not to talk and interact with strangers and that just gave her a good example of the right thing to do. You have no reason to feelguilty.

I have to say, I have been one to give money to two certain homeless people near where I used to live on my way to work...
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:10 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by indiblue View Post
You did the right thing, INCLUDING talking to her directly and telling her you can't help. You have no idea if she's lying or not, but she's a human being obviously with significant problems and you have no idea how much acknowledging her presence and talking to her with respect helps a person like that, mentally and emotionally.
I agree. Sometimes, it can make all the difference in the world.
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