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Old 05-29-2011, 03:13 PM   #16  
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I'm a HUGE klutz, but when I am clumsy I usually end up getting hurt. Here are some examples:

sacal96, I have a similar story. This has happened twice btw. The first time, I was standing on my parents' back porch. It was my mother, cousin, dog, and me. While talking, I attempted to walk forward, forgetting that the boards in the porch are a bit weak from time and weather. Anyway, at the same time the dog and I step on the same board, and there is a horrible crack. The dog is quick and moves away before he can go through the porch, but I'm not as lucky. So, I go through up to my knee and catch myself before I can go any further. Nobody laughed. My mother and cousin were both concerned, but I felt like the fattest thing in the universe, oh, and I also wore the ugliest, largest bruise on my leg. That happened another time when it was just my mother and I on the porch.

Another time, I was testing out my mother's treadmill she had purchased from her mother for $50. I guess I was leaning too much on the handlebars, because they gave away, and sent me tumbling to the floor. I bruised my wrist.

Here's the most recent. It happened about two or three months ago. It was my mother, husband, brother, and I. We had just got to church, and I was getting out of the backseat of my father's mustang. The driver's seat-belt is extremely baggy. I should have been paying more attention, but I wasn't, and somehow the seat-belt caught my ankle and tripped me as I got out of the car. So, I hit the ground really hard, completely dumbfounded. It happened so fast, I didn't even feel the seat-belt on my leg. But I sure did feel the pain. So, I limp to the church restroom, and lift up my dress to discover my leg is soaked with blood. I guess the wind pushed my dress aside when I fell, and I hit the large gravel rocks in the parking-lot. it completely tore my knee up, and the bleeding didn't stop for a while. I kept having to go back and forth to the restroom during church to wipe the blood away.
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Old 05-29-2011, 03:49 PM   #17  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BornToFly View Post
In 9th grade, during science class, I was reading out loud, and instead of saying organisms I said orgasms.

ooops.

There is prob many more, but this one does stick out.
This reminds me of 5th grade - I was giving a speech about something and tried to say tentacles. It came out testicles. I still avoid saying tentacles, because I'm terrified I'll slip and embarrass myself again.
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Old 05-29-2011, 05:14 PM   #18  
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haha the stories of misspoken words remind me of two that were hilarious- but not mine.

Once my husbands grandma- little old blue hair catholic church going lady - called to order a pizza and asked for Cesarean instead of sicilian. The person taking her order had to ask her twice and she got mad.

The other one is with my husbands family too. For some reason his uncle cannot say the popular Dairy Queen treat the correct way and it always comes out of his mouth "penis buster parfait" so we're at the drive through and about to order and he can't bring himself to say anything and starts laughing hysterically and my husband has to lean over him to make our order for the Peanut Buster Parfait! hahaha.
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Old 05-30-2011, 01:29 AM   #19  
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These made me giggle. My most embarrassing moment is so cringeworthy that I actually blocked it out of my memory.

When I first arrived in Japan I went to a bad welcome party for new teachers. I drank too much and acted like a complete idiot, which is fine, but it went to whole new levels. I started harassing this guy at a bar, acting like a belligerent jerk, generally just being awful. He finally said "that's enough from you" and dumped his drink on my head. I went home not five minutes later, balloon popped.

I will never, ever forget the shame and humiliation. It's so much worse when the incident is completely preventable - and 100% your fault!
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Old 05-30-2011, 01:41 AM   #20  
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Walking out of the ladies room AT WORK with a toilet liner attached to the back of my pants......... and having a male co-worker who I was manager of telling me it was there. Thats all I'm going to say about that one!
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Old 05-30-2011, 08:39 AM   #21  
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I think my family embarrasses me much more
than I could ever embarrass myself.


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Old 05-30-2011, 08:59 AM   #22  
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I was at Ben & Jerry's for free cone day with my kids several weeks ago (I resisted a free cone for myself!), and some of my kids wanted the clusterfluff ice cream. When I went to place the order I said clusterf*ck instead of clusterfluff. I'm sure I'm not the first one, and I wonder if that's how the ice cream got its name in the first place.
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Old 05-30-2011, 10:11 AM   #23  
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I actually had a rather embarrassing verbal gaffe at Sears yesterday.

My husband and I were looking for new washer dryers and we were discussing the pros/cons of getting the matching pedestals with the salesmen. Basically, they are just drawers that lift the washer/dryer off the ground to a more comfortable height (so you don't have to bend over and reach in to get the clothes) AND they were 229.00 EACH.

So, I said something like, "$500.00? I'd bend over for $500.00!"

Silence, both my husband and the salesman were fighting not to laugh.

Last edited by Glory87; 05-30-2011 at 12:17 PM.
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Old 05-30-2011, 04:09 PM   #24  
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hahaha glory i say stuff like that all the time... but half the time i mean it to sound the way it came out. hahaha that totally made my day though.

i once made a comment to my boss about her and her bosses relationship involving a lot of "the fist and the finger" as in- shaking their fists at each other and giving each other the finger... but that was NOT how she took it. it has become a regular joke in my dept now. i was horrified because for once i was not trying to be filthy.
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Old 05-31-2011, 01:16 AM   #25  
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I just remembered another one.... I was talking to a male co worker on the phone and when we were hanging up I said "love you, bye"............... OMG I ALMOST DIED! hahahaha
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Old 06-01-2011, 05:38 PM   #26  
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I embarrass very, very easily and my mind is flooded with stories. It doesn't take much to make me turn red and burst into tears, I am overtly cautious whilst out in public to avoid anything that could make me slip up...

Once, however, I had lost my first 15lbs and my work pants weren't fitting well anymore. I had put my phone in the back pocket of the pants and went down the cafeteria to grab lunch. On my way back through the halls, cell phone weighing down my pants, arms full of items - my pants hit the floor. At work. In front of a TON of people. I was *horrified*.

I've missed the chair a few times went sitting down (especially chairs on wheels!) and fallen. I also trip walking off of curbs and will face plant just about anywhere.

Once, I was very young, and was homeschooled growing up so I didn't have a gauge on when "normal" people graduated highschool. I just knew that I got my diploma when I was 15-16 and figured most people did it at 16-17. I was having a conversation with my boss, assistant manager and the head of the department when I said something along the lines of "He was so stupid! I mean, seriously! He was 18 and STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL - obviously he was held back a year or two!!!"... The department head bristled and said "My son is 18 and in highschool and he happens to be quite bright." .... I wanted to crawl under the desk and never come back out.

Also, knowing how easily embarrassed I am, my man thinks its HILARIOUS to play off of this because 'embarrassed' isn't in his vocabulary. A few months ago we were shopping and he slipped a big pack of Depends incontinence panties in my the cart and I didn't notice until we were checking out. I saw it on the check out stand and said "Hey!!! Why did you get those??" and he said very loudly "Its OK, I saw you were out so I thought I'd get you some more DIAPERS. I know you've been drinking a lot of water and the bed got a little wet last night. Is that the right size? Should we get another bag? I know important your Depends are to you!" ..... I was speechless and he pulled it off with a straight face, only started to laugh and apologize when he realized I was gonna kill him later!! LOL

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Old 06-01-2011, 07:12 PM   #27  
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About a year and a half ago I was a substitute teacher and running late for a job at a middle school. I had already lost a fair bit of weight at this time and had to safety pin my pants for them to stay up. As I was running to the school from the parking lot, my safety pin came undone and my pants fell to my knees. Fortunately, everyone was already inside except a few late arrivals who didn't seem to see it. I invested in new pants very shortly after

Around the same time, I had just gotten some new undies which I wore out for a run. They were a satiny and apparently a mistake. They kept sliding down! I'm sure the other runners in the park were wondering what that lump below my a** was.

And the falls....

At University of Queensland we had this beautiful sandstone building. I tripped and slid a solid 4 feet across the smooth surface.

My Freshman year at Georgia State, I was heading back to the dorms via MARTA train. The main station (Five Points) has a sloped, tile entry way that is VERY slippery when wet. I was carrying my giant portfolio from my drawing class and went for the railing to help me keep a grip down the slope. That railing did nothing for me. I took a step and my left foot slid right out from under me, landing hard on my right knee. It was rush hour and EVERYONE was looking at me. I got up quickly and took another step, left foot slid out from under me again! Landed hard on my right knee AGAIN. Now people are rushing over to me. I got up quickly assuring the dozens of people coming to my aid that I was fine. A few minute later my friend gets there and I tell her what happened and she responds "oh you're the one they were talking about!"

As a lifeguard, I fell out of the stand 3 times.

The first time I completely missed the step and got a good swing going on the way down, landing on my side. My boss came out of his office to make sure I was okay. I quickly assured him I was fine and he hurried into the bathroom. He later told me that he went in the bathroom so as not to laugh in my face.

The second time I had just finished talking to a really cute guy. I was getting out of the stand as he walked away and my new flops were a little slippery. He had to find it odd when he turned around and saw me sitting cross legged on the floor, I was just in the stand a second ago! My boss didn't see it this time, but he did laugh in my face when I told him about it later.

The third time made me the new record holder at my gym for falling out of the stand.

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Old 06-01-2011, 07:23 PM   #28  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beck View Post
clusterfluff ice cream.
OMG, why would they call it that?! They were really just asking for it there.
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