I actually like my hubby's ex. She can be pushy and bi*chy plenty of times when things don't go her way, but so can I. She's a good mom and has offered to help us out when we needed it. I ALWAYS ask permission or insight when wanting to do something with or for my stepdaughter, especially if I need my hubby's okay or advice.
The times when she's raking my husband over the coals over some imagined slight, I want her to dissapear, but only because I don't like to see him hurting.
I'd rather keep the peace, and she's always left me out of their fights. So she's cool and a pretty good friend in my book.