Is it healthy to fantasize about your life being different? Meaning when you lay down you actually have detailed daydreams bout your life being different?
I fantasize constantly about different situations.... 1 is that I have this gorgeous home and a super cute body and own my own little business and I really go into detail and play these scenarios over in my head over and over until I fall a sleep. So is that healthy to do? At the moment that I'm thinking about them it makes me really happy but then sometimes when I wake up to reality it makes me bummed and sad that those fantasies will never be reality. Does anyone else do this?
I'm into the law of attraction- which basically means be positive get positive, be negative get negative. It's great you're thinking of wonderful things- but then you get upset you don't have them so in the end you wont get them because your negative energy pertaining to those things is kind of a blockage.
I'm not saying you have to believe it! I will say, be positive, even with the law of attraction I don't believe everything, but being in a good mood, and being positive and only focusing on what makes me feel good, my life has changed dramatically. You don't realize how negative you are about things, people, life, yourself until you stop to think about it!
Think about what makes you feel good, when you feel good you are aligned with your true self. Pretty simply, if it makes you feel bad don't give it attention.
It's also normal to believe that at least some of those fantasies can become reality, too, so don't assume that they'll never happen for you. It doesn't sound like you're dreaming about your fame eclipsing Beyonce's or about having more money than Bill Gates; you're dreaming about owning a nice house and running a business. Those are definitely achievable goals. It might take you a while and your path might be circuitous, but you can certainly reach them.
As for the super-cute body, you're here and working on that, so more power to you.
Daydreams are only problematic when they keep you from acting on things that you need to do in your daily life. I can fantasize all I want about writing and selling a novel, but I can't take too much time away from cleaning and cooking and working in the here and now to dream about it. If you're using your daydreams to help define your goals or just put a smile on your face as you drift to sleep, that's totally healthy.
If you're consciously choosing to daydream rather than face a reality you don't much like, well...then it might be time to set about improving that reality. I don't mean big stuff, I mean just little things--clean up, paint your bedroom, some kind of positive change that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
Thanks for the feedback. I was feeling kind of guilty about thinking about this other life so much... its so great to imagine I often wish that when I go to sleep I could somehow jump into this fantasy life... wouldn't that be great to be able to control
I think everyone does it, but it's not good for you. I'm a big believer in Buddhist teachings/new age spirituality/ Eckhart Tolle, etc. A common theme in all this is the idea of being conscious and present. Being present and firmly entrenched in the present moment brings peace. I personally daydream and fantasize much more when life is not going well and it feeds the negativity. Also remember that fantasy is not real. In your day dream the movie star/singer/athlete doesn't fart, leave his laundry on the floor, give you mixed signals, or any of the other things that "real" people do. The day dreaming creates an impossible standard for anyone to live up to.
During the Royal Wedding saga, I found myself fantasizing about my own wedding. I'm single, overweight and not even ready for a relationship, forget about a marriage. I would stay up late looking at dresses, rings, local venues and listening to love songs. More than a few times I would get so caught up in my fantasy, the hours would pass and next thing I knew it would be 3 or 4am. I'd finally go to bed exhausted but wouldn't be able to sleep because I was so anxious and wound up by all this wedding stuff. It ended up making me feel unfulfilled and insecure. It sadly took me a few days to realize that the wedding daydreaming was what was making me feel so anxious, depressed and sleepless.
__________________________ *~Small Steps to ONEderland~*
I think it's healthy, I day dream all the time about different situations on how I want things to happen in my life. I think if we didn't dream we wouldn't have things to achieve for. For instance I dream of getting out of debt going back to school (yes it will happen for me because I'm busting my *** off with two jobs.) I dream I'll be 140 pounds I will be eventually when I get off my lazy as and take the first step on moving on from 155. and I dream one day I will get my GSG, it's a working progress but it's in the work and even if I don't get him haha it's fun to dream about different situations and senarios that can happen.
It's normal, it's life and if you want something you work at it and you get it. Might not always get the exact guy you want but theres always someone who's better then the one you wanted before (in my eyes).
I think there's a difference between the kind of fantasizing that is attainable and self-governed and the kind that is random and relates very little to what you are capable of controlling. The first kind of daydreaming is almost more like brainstorming or rehearsing; you're defining and refining your goals. The second kind has nothing to do with you or even with your real future, it's just a way to avoid present unhappiness.
Seeing future-you as slimmer and more successful is a good thing in my opinion, especially if you use your daydreaming time to brainstorm ways to reach those goals. Seeing future-you as a lottery winner or as a rich lover's plaything is not so helpful because it implies you want something--you don't care what, just something--to take you away from your current life. That'd imply you need to work a little bit on improving your reality. Those aren't daydreams as much as they are pure escapist fantasy.
There's nothing escapist about seeing yourself as a successful homeowner who enjoys her life at a healthy weight, though. Those are things a lot of us are working on.
I dunno if you watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there is an episode in which a painfully shy guy gets very caught up in his "fantasy life" on the Holodeck (you can program anything you want there - horseback riding, exercise programs, fairy tales, etc) and forgets about the real world. He takes it too far.
As long as you are grounded in reality and not avoiding your life, it's perfectly normal and healthy to daydream. If your fantasizing is as "constant" as you say it is, make sure you incorporate "real" work toward your fantasies into your life so you're not just wasting time.