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Old 04-26-2011, 10:54 PM   #16  
Jillian stole my abs!
 
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Hot coffee and quiet mornings in the garden. My grand daughters learning all the new things. They are 8 mos and 2 mos.

You've got a lot going on sweetie. Any of us would be overwhelmed by all that, and have down days. Hang in there!
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Old 04-26-2011, 11:59 PM   #17  
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Watch this. It's nearly ancient as far as the Internet is concerned, but it warms the spirit...even for those of us who aren't particularly thrilled about squiggly baby folks.

Our world is a glorious place, in thousands of little ways. We don't always see them, especially when there are BIGHUGEUGLY things that we adult folks have to deal with. I'm glad that you're looking at the little things that catch the light of the world.
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Old 04-27-2011, 01:35 AM   #18  
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Eliana, so sorry to hear about all the hardships your going through. It sounds like you are "hanging tough" that is so impressive.

Happy Things:
-my nieces
-my dogs
-funny movies and sitcoms(I find, too, they can really get your mind off things.)
-spring
-puppies
-Anderson Cooper(I know that is odd but I think he is such a cool person.)

Last edited by bonnie2009; 04-27-2011 at 01:46 AM.
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:55 AM   #19  
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Happy Things for me include:
Kisses from my fiance,
waking up to find my cat curled up against me,
a good cup of coffee,
doing a crossword puzzle,
laying in bed, knowing you can take your time getting up,
taking pictures of pretty things,
going into a used book store (I'm totally with the post a few above mine about the smell of a book).

certain songs also make me happy. I can't hear Mr. Blue Sky by ELO without getting a big grin on my face, and the song I Love by Tom T. Hall, this is the I love little baby ducks and old pickup trucks song (the younger ones may not know either of these but they are worth listening to on youtube).

Last edited by CanadianCutie; 05-06-2011 at 09:37 AM. Reason: to add a couple song titles
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:59 AM   #20  
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Eliana, sometimes that helps, sometimes not. I've lost both my parents now, it's so hard, and I'm so sorry!

My kids antics make me happy, finding a cool spot on the pillow, a nice breeze with the smell of honeysuckle tickling your nose, birdsong and flowers with dew still on in my garden, oh so many things.

But I too struggle to feel happy all the time. Life happens. I get angry and down just like everyone else, search for fulfillment, feel like something is missing, etc. etc. It's normal, people go through ups and downs. You'll find it again!

again.
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Old 04-27-2011, 09:22 AM   #21  
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Eliana, I am more sorry about what you're witnessing with your mother than I can say. I've mentioned before that my father died of gastrointestinal cancer in November 2008, and we spent that year in ****, as he, who'd once loved food perhaps a bit too much, & carried a big potbelly like Homer Simpson, gradually lost his appetite & like your mother, became unable to eat & finally even to swallow. He had an ileostomy & hated it & was ashamed of it, which also made him not want to take in anything. This is a horrible thing to watch. It takes so long ... it made me want it to end, just to have his suffering & misery all over with ... and yet of course, I did not want him to die, I wanted every precious minute that we still had left to us. At least we talked & talked.

I'm not sure I can help, because I just let myself be as unhappy as I needed to be. I didn't think it was realistic for me to be upbeat & energetic. I, too, took refuge in the gym. (With my phone turned on & sitting on the machine, always, just in case ... just in case ...) I watched my mother do the upbeat, I-have-it-all-under-control thing, which looked awfully like denial sometimes. It seems that, at least in part, because she wouldn't let herself believe that this could end badly, she had a greater shock than I did at his death & has a had a longer & more painful recovery, is still not recovered & still can hardly face the subject.

What makes me happy? I thought about that a lot during 2008 since much of it was unrelentingly grim. I decided happiness never was meant to be of long duration. If it goes on too long, we take it for granted & don't see that we're happy. Contentment or relaxing into a routine is one thing; happiness is another. It's a bit like joy. It's made up of passing moments. There were times in between grief & fear & pain when I felt myself breathe & kind of rested in the trough of the wave, before another strenuous period came. (Yes, it's like doing intervals at the gym.) Sunlight on my face; a forgotten well-loved song unexpectedly turning up on the radio; a cat on my lap. A cup of coffee, looking out the window, and an usual bird coming to the feeder. Laughing in a friend's car at a reference to something from when we were younger. Opening a book & seeing a gorgeous old house & garden, imagining it as a refuge. Smelling a freesia. Realizing that the world was going on anyway, beautiful & busy & noisy, completely oblivious to my own private unhappiness, and that I would step back out into it, eventually, though it might take a long time. Yes, there was a little bit of selfishness: Everything was falling apart & darkening, but I was going to get through it; I was going to live. Limping & wounded, but I was going to make it.

Last edited by saef; 04-27-2011 at 09:24 AM.
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Old 04-27-2011, 11:01 AM   #22  
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The thing about happiness for me is that I wear it almost like a badge of honor. And especially right now it is important to me. My grandpa, who did pass on last night, has been the most influential person in my life. He is the reason I am like a light switch, able to turn my emotions on and off at will...most of the time. He heard about positive thinking as a very young man and he read everything he could get his hands on about it. He collected notes and kept them on index cards. And then in his 80's, he wrote a 750 page book about all of his observations, most of it much plagiarized. So he couldn't publish it. He taught me that I had the power to "create my own world" and boy have I.

The draw back is that I don't know how to show proper emotions and I don't trust the emotions I do feel. I'm not feeling too terribly emotional about his passing and I'm not sure if that's right.

So, it seems odd to me that I'm seeking happiness right now when the man who taught me how has just died. I guess I seek especially to honor him.
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Old 04-27-2011, 11:18 AM   #23  
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Being active and outside, enjoying the sun.
Reading my kindle in a coffee shop.
Being with my 2 best friends.


I am sorry . You might be having a delayed reaction re your grandpa. Or else it will hit you some days and not others. There's no "right" way to react. You're you.

Last edited by tea2; 04-27-2011 at 11:19 AM.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:18 PM   #24  
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Eliana, so terribly sorry to hear about your grandpa. What a treasure having someone like that in your life who helped you shape your life in such a positive light. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to grieve I think you have to follow your heart.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:29 PM   #25  
I am in control.
 
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I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandpa. I'm sending many positive thoughts and prayers your way.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:49 PM   #26  
is chubby
 
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Delicious food in a restaurant shared with friends.
Sitting beneath grape plants, smelling the sea and avoiding the sun at the same time on my home island
Hearing the rain outside when I study
Losing a pound
Excersizing while watching documentaries.
Drawing my comic on photoshop
... and many more things like that make me happy
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Old 04-27-2011, 03:02 PM   #27  
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Eliana, I do believe you have to "work" at happiness. I am actively telling myself that it's my choice whether or not I'm going to make today a good day. I remind myself to smile and be active and I try to make the most of everyday.
Things that make me happy:
*My boyfriend, he's so good to me and after a sting or crappy men in my life, I'm so thankful that I've found such a good man
*My dog, he can be naughty but he's a great little pup
*My kitten, also naughty, but I love watching my dog and kitten romp around, they're in love!
*A good book
*Laughing
*A peaceful walk
*Blooming trees and flowers
*A nap on a rainy day

There really is a lot to be happy for
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Old 04-27-2011, 08:46 PM   #28  
Staying the Same
 
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Eliana, my heart and thoughts go to you and your family. Your grandpa sounds like a fantastic man and he will undoubtedly live on through you and your relentlessly upbeat attitude. I wish all the best to you and yours.

Things that make me happy...
-Taking a total break from life and getting lost in, even obsessed with, escapist literature/media
-Allowing myself to enjoy nice weather, thinking as little as humanly possible while doing so
-People watching at international airports/the excitement of sitting in the terminal on my way to somewhere cool
-Dancing to music I love
-Running outside and watching the sun set
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Old 04-28-2011, 03:39 AM   #29  
Running for my life
 
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Eliana, hugs to you . Everything that you've been through recently is so much to deal with, especially all at once. I hope that you are able to find your happiness again very soon.

Things that make me happy:

The smell of the honeysuckle vines
Running
Standing outside on my porch after dark and listening to the sounds of the evening.
Waking up before the alarm goes off and realizing I still have an hour to sleep.
The sound and smell of the ocean.
Trees
Tending to my rose gardens
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Old 04-28-2011, 07:35 PM   #30  
Back with a story
 
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Oh no, what a terrible time you've had! That's a lot for anyone!

What makes me happy?
Thinking about God's unfathomable love for me, and sacrifice on my behalf.
Hugs from my girls.
The smell of my baby son (babies smell SO good!)
Warm sunshine with a light breeze.
A massage.
I hate to say it, but tasty food makes me happy. I would be a total foodie if I could!


That's my short list, anyway!
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