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He bought me lunch!

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Old 04-17-2011, 01:52 PM   #1
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I just stepped way outside my comfort zone and joined a hiking group through meetup.com. It was a great 4 mile walk through town followed by lunch. I immediately hit it off with a gentleman who is a good bit older than I am. I'm 36 and he has a 23 year old son, so I'm not sure exactly how old. He loves to go kayaking, canoeing, mountain climbing, skydiving and loves baseball and hockey. If I was making a list of the perfect guy, check, check, check and check. And the clincher? He loves to cook, and I don't mean spaghetti. He's passionate about it!

We're with a group of about 20 people for lunch, most of us there as individuals, and he steals my check! He bought my lunch! I was shocked. Never in my life has a man ever paid for me like that. I've gone on actual dates where I've had to pay!

Then I got all nervous wondering what I should do if I asked for my phone number. He didn't. Phew! LOL! I guess I'm just not there yet.

I do not know how to date. Sad, isn't it? I don't know how to reject a guy and I don't know how to date more than one person. I've always been a serious relationship kind of girl. This is all entirely new to me.

But what a great way to get my feet wet!
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Last edited by Eliana : 04-17-2011 at 01:53 PM.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:01 PM   #2
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I've got to tell you - I love reading your posts about entering the dating world and figuring out how to "go out" I've never been a social butterfly, but in two months I'm moving across the country away from all friends and family, and I'm going to force myself out of my comfort zone. I was planning to use meetups, so it's fantastic to hear that you had such a positive experience...
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:07 PM   #3
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That sounds super! I'm not the best dater either. He sounds pretty cool though.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:31 PM   #4
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sounds awesome! do you know if you will run into him again?
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:40 PM   #5
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If he has a 23 yer old son it is possible that he is in hs mid 40's or early 50's, not too old for someone of 36. Good luck.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:51 PM   #6
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Awesome! Congrats!
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:52 PM   #7
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That sounds perfect for a nice love story !
I hope you at least have some means to meet again since you didn't exchange phone-numbers. Since he bought you dinner I think he'll expect the next move from you.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:58 PM   #8
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Oops Eliana, I read that as "I'm 36 and he's 23..."!

Have fun!
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Old 04-17-2011, 05:23 PM   #9
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Awesome, congrats!
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Old 04-17-2011, 06:11 PM   #10
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YIKES! Oh honey, are you sure you even WANT to date yet? Like, don't you have younger kids? (You just filed for your divorce recently right?) I would think the divorce has to be very hard on your kiddo's right now. Don't they need time to adjust to living in a house without their Daddy, before Mommy is out there dating (or even thinking of) dating a potential new one? You've got plenty of time to find a new man...why rush into anything?

I really don't mean to sound all Dr Laura on you, but why in the world would you even consider dating at this point? There is a reason this older guy is single...could be the same reason your ex is single. Don't jump into anything for your kids sake.
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:12 PM   #11
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Don't expect too much from a divorced guy with kids.

When a woman with children files for a divorce it is because there were major reasons why they could not get along with the husband. It is not easy raising children as a single parent. Women don't leave a marriage unless she has a lot of problems that are just to much to deal with.

If she could not get along with him and dumped him, what are the chances that any woman will be happy with him in the long run?

This guy could turn out to be the love of your life, or he could bring a whole lot of troubles into yours. Get to know him and find out why the marriage failed.
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:49 PM   #12
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I love your excitement in this post. :-)

I'm also 36 and I don't know how to date either. Like you, I'm used to serious relationships; I don't have much experience being a "dater". And I haven't even had a "serious relationship" in probably 10 years.

Anyway, I'm glad he bought your lunch. I'm old fashioned in that way. :-) Also, I'll share something I *just* learned from my mom (yes, "just" learned - I suck at men/women datey stuff. lol): Men go after something/someone they *really* want. If he wants you, he will pursue you. I look forward to seeing where this goes. I hope you interact w/ him again. :-))
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:55 PM   #13
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Congrats! Way to get out there!
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:05 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JOLINA View Post
Don't expect too much from a divorced guy with kids.

When a woman with children files for a divorce it is because there were major reasons why they could not get along with the husband. It is not easy raising children as a single parent. Women don't leave a marriage unless she has a lot of problems that are just to much to deal with.

If she could not get along with him and dumped him, what are the chances that any woman will be happy with him in the long run?
I have to STRONGLY disagree with this response. This is coming from a daughter of divorced parents since I was 3-years old where my mom did have custody of my older sister and I and wanted it that way. My dad did NOT want the divorce, my mom did. She had cheated on him since before I was born (yes, I'm sure I'm my Dad's daughter, I look so much like him) he would find out about her cheating and they would work on it. My mom finally divorced my dad because he dropped out of the Air Force and she felt like it was the apocalypse because he was "bailing out" on a retirement pension 20 years down the road. All she cares about is money, and all she does is squander the little she has. My dad actually quit the Air Force so he could focus on a college education to provide for his family. My mom is an IDIOT in the dating/relationship world and forever will be. Meanwhile, my dad has remarried (very happily) within the last few years. I love both of my parents, but my dad is a much better companion if you compare the two side-by-side.

Anyway, sexist thinking is very wrong and I feel that was an incredibly sexist response on your part Jolina. It's not always the woman's fault and it's not always the man's fault in a divorce. Sometimes marriages just don't work, children or no children!!!
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:42 PM   #15
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I agree that it's not always the guys fault in a divorce.

I've seen it go both ways. I've also seen two perfectly decent ppl just not be able to live with each other.

Another poster said that you are just now getting divorced and to wait till the kids adjust. I really don't agree there either. Doesn't matter if you wait, or if you jump right in. It's going to be hard and an adjustment either way. Waiting for them to be ok, is just never going to happen (coming from a child who's parent divorced when she was just a mere infant..I never got ok with it).

Kids will adjust, they will act out, and they will be hurt (even if you never move on).

Just make sure that YOU are ready!
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