Twice now I've left the guy I was with for a different guy. Twice. Both times I swore it was for a better situation. Both times I was certain that I was moving on to a far better lifestyle that matched my interests so much better and would leave me far happier. I was CERTAIN I loved these new guys with all of my heart. I was CERTAIN that they were THE one. And, actually, I have loved both of them with a deep part of my heart more than any of the other men I've ever dated to be fair.
But, as far as my happiness goes, both times, just a few months in, I realized it made ZERO difference. People are ALWAYS on their perfect behavior when you're first starting out. Even when you tell each other you're being real and being yourself - there is more effort in the beginning always.
Your personal happiness and lifestyle is not going to change with any guy. I know you hear it, and it's cliche, but it really, really is true. The thing is, no one here at 3FC is going to change your mind. I know that because I went to a few online forums to discuss my past decisions that were very similar to yours. And, I was warned and cautioned... and I didn't listen.
You do need to decide if you really love your boyfriend. And, I don't think that just because you opened yourself up to be attracted to someone else doesn't mean that you don't love him. It means you don't love you right now, and you're looking for someone to find good in you so you can feel special. And, you take your current boyfriend's love for you for granted. It no longer makes you feel as special because he is your boyfriend, he is supposed to love you. And, part of the love is because he is comfortable with you. It's just not the same feeling when he tells you your pretty as when this guy does. Plus, he probably doesn't tell you as much anymore because you see each other day in and day out...
It's a matter of opening your eyes and seeing what's really happening around you. The guy situation is really not the situation at all.
You need to make friends. And, the thing to know here is, friends d not come up to you and start talking to you. Especially if you're at home. You have to actually go out and find them, and it's work. I live 300 miles away from my family and childhood friends. I moved to Chicago for a guy (who I left). I had NO ONE but my job. A co-worker chastised me and said I was getting nowhere feeling sorry for myself. And to just go up to some people that seem fun and say "I moved here a year ago and never bothered to get out and meet anyone. Would you mind having dinner with me sometime? I could really use getting out of the house on the weekend."
So, I did that. I called some women at work that I didn't even know and asked them to hang out. I went on Craigslist and answered two adds from girls looking for friends in the area to hang out with. I joined a soccer team; I joined a softball team. So, I'm in Chicago and it's easier.... nope. You can reach out to just as many people where you are right now as I can reach out to here. I mean, the amount of people you can interact with in a day has a limit!! It's more about interacting with people and making the effort, no matter how small the town. (I'm from a town of 6,000! I know!) There's a bartender at my favorite restaurant that is a riot. Next week I'm going to go in and invite her out with me the following Friday night. Just now while writing this I asked a paralegal walking by to go shopping with me. You would be surprised how many woman are totally up for hanging out with you. We ALL want people to hang out with.
And, sure, they don't all become lifelong friendships. I've had several people that have just become acquaintances. But, even that is not bad. It gives you someone to always hang out with. I'll see each of them like once every three or four months, and it's still nice. I've however also made some really, really close friends, best friends, this way. So, start there. Make a life for yourself and don't expect your boyfriend to do it for you. Also, don't blame him for where you're at. It is your fault you're holed up.
Some of it too could be depression. Yeah, I understand cold. But, it's not like you're going to hang out outside the entire time you go out. But, if you just don't even feel like walking outside, maybe you're depressed? Are you exercising? Sometimes you just have to say "Self, I am getting up and going out no matter how much is sucks!" And then, once you've done it, I promise you'll feel good about it. I have to do that today. I've got to say "Self, you are going to walk ten blocks to the pet store and buy that 30 lb. back of dog food. Then you're going to schlep it back to work, and then after work you're going to schlep it on the red line during rush hour." Believe me... I DO NOT WANT. But, I'm going to do it. And when I get home, I'm going to be happy I did it.
It is a STRUGGLE. It is so much work making yourself get out of the house when you don't feel like it. And, it's nerve wracking inviting people to go out for coffee with you the first time. But, they won't say no. And eventually, through your huge network of friends you create for yourself you'll find one or two gems to hang out with outside of your home.
And, with more friends and you getting out of the house more, you'll be proud of yourself. And, perhaps you'll feel a little more fulfilled with life. And, at that point, maybe you'll realize your life doesn't revolve around any guy. That's when you'll be able to decide if you really hate living there, or if you just hate where your life is.