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Old 04-14-2011, 10:11 PM   #16
Le geek, c'est chic
 
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I think the key word there is "friend."

These weren't friends. They were near-strangers or at best, very recent acquaintances. Krampus used exactly the right phrase in her newest post: "giving up power." You shouldn't do that unless you trust the person to whom you're handing some or all of your control over your environment.
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Old 04-14-2011, 10:31 PM   #17
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If nothing else, you don't know anything about their driving skills/record... especially if they were driving impaired. I wouldn't ride in a car with a woman driving that I don't know either - it's dangerous just from a driving safety standpoint, much less the potential for a serious crime.

I have several close male friends that I spend time alone with regularly. Nothing ever happens - men are, after all, just people.
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Old 04-15-2011, 01:57 AM   #18
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Chit-chatting with some random dudes on campus? Sure, why not?

Hopping in a car with them an hour after meeting them and going somewhere? Gurl, no. Just no.

I don't care how friendly someone is, you have to look at the context of things. And the context here is that two men that you barely knew wanted to take you out of your comfort zone via car and take you...God knows where.

Fortunately for you, these guys didn't seem to have malice on their minds and all they did was smoke some pot and picked up their friend. Next time, you might not be so lucky. Have fun, make friends, but be smart about it; never let ANYONE (including women) you just meet take you out of your comfort zone and into any situation where you can't simply leave and make your way back home.
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Old 04-15-2011, 02:21 AM   #19
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Wow, that is scary. I definitely would never do that again.
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Old 04-15-2011, 10:05 AM   #20
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man the whole time I was reading this I was thinking "man, i hope she isn't posting on 3fc chained to a wall in a basement somewhere". obvoiusly you are ok but everything your mom taught you when you were 5 is still true!
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Old 04-15-2011, 01:19 PM   #21
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What a sweet, trusting gal you are. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as you know how to look out for yourself. Sounds like you don't have a lot of experience in the world, but your little gut was sure telling you something, wasn't it? Try to get in touch with your gut instinct and always trust it, it is rarely wrong!

I was so much like you when I was younger, and in that situation I probably would have thought, "well, they are nice, I don't want to hurt their feelings or make them think I'm scared of them or anything if I don't go with them". I did that sort of thing a bunch of times and consider myself so lucky I never came across the wrong person. NO ONE'S feelings, thoughts, anything, should be worth more than your safety.

Sounds like you learned a good lesson. I'm so glad! BTW, sounds like you have a nice boyfriend.
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Old 04-15-2011, 01:34 PM   #22
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OMG! Don't do that again! There are so many crazy people out there. And they started smoking pot-you could have gotten into trouble too if they got pulled over by the police.

Your bf is absolutely correct and not paranoid.

But when I was young I did it too. I was flying back from home and didn't realize that the subway stopped running at a certain time and didn't know how I was going to get back to my car to get to base and a couple nice looking guys saw me and I accepted a ride from them because they were from the same military base as me. It turned out ok, but even now some 20 years later I cringe at what might have happened.
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Old 04-15-2011, 02:01 PM   #23
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Well, when I read the initial post, I thought it was a joke post.

Really? Chat up guys you don't know and then GO WITH THEM somewhere you have no idea where despite having a boyfriend and admitting that you were dolled up ... ? And giving them your phone number? For ...?? You don't even KNOW THEM. Too many things here that are just a bit strange.
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Old 04-15-2011, 02:06 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nationalparker View Post
Well, when I read the initial post, I thought it was a joke post.

Really? Chat up guys you don't know and then GO WITH THEM somewhere you have no idea where despite having a boyfriend and admitting that you were dolled up ... ? And giving them your phone number? For ...?? You don't even KNOW THEM. Too many things here that are just a bit strange.
And as much as I hate to say this, men who sexually assault women would consider that to be 'inviting' them ~ please, don't do it again. Is it an invitation? Of course not, that's ridiculous, but if the one who is willing to hurt you thinks it is, that's all that matters.

Would most people hurt you in that circumstance? No, but it's a risk that doesn't need to be taken at all. Stay safe.
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Old 04-15-2011, 02:38 PM   #25
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There's a book called The Gift of Fear that would probably be a good thing for you to read right now, since you feel like you don't "know" how to keep yourself safe because you don't have a female role model. Your role model is within yourself! You KNEW that it wasn't the best situation, getting into that car with those boys; your God-given instincts were TELLING YOU not to get into that car, but you squashed that voice and did so anyway. Thank heavens nothing absolutely horrible happened to you, but it darn well could have.
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Old 04-15-2011, 03:07 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shannonmb View Post
I did that sort of thing a bunch of times and consider myself so lucky I never came across the wrong person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaonashi
Next time, you might not be so lucky.
Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus
I've done stuff like that before and I am lucky nothing bad ever happened to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahyu
It turned out ok, but even now some 20 years later I cringe at what might have happened.
One thing to keep in mind: Nearly everyone posting here has been lucky.

The women who weren't so lucky aren't still here to post.

Think of the ones who can no longer post and try not to do it again.
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Old 04-15-2011, 07:16 PM   #27
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Was your boyfriend upset that you chatted with a guy and got into a car with them, even though they didn't know you were not avalible?
Yeah be careful like everyone else said. Sometimes they might let you get comfortable around them first before trying something..

Please carry some pepper spray and remember if they try to grab you, kick hard! Go for the knees or the groin!!
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Old 04-15-2011, 07:52 PM   #28
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O-M-G!!! I am so glad you were lucky enough to be unharmed from this experience.

If Ted Bundy isn't enough of an example, here is the story of John Norman Collins.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan_murders

This from the article:
Soon the police had yet another body on their hands, student Karen Sue Beineman, who went missing on July 23, 1969, and was discovered a few days later, strangled and beaten to death. This was the killer's downfall. While he was waiting on Beineman the day she disappeared, an older female manager of a wig shop had gotten a good look at the man seated on his motorcycle up on the sidewalk—at Beinemen's request. Beineman reportedly told the woman, "I've got to be either the bravest or the dumbest girl alive because I've just accepted a ride from some guy". He was the previously mentioned John Norman Collins, who was subsequently taken into police custody.

Theres a reason for the term STRANGER DANGER.
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