Just out of curiosity I searched an ex-boyfriend on myspace....
Before I continue, I feel I must elaborate a bit. I'll try to make this as brief as possible.
I was 16 at the time, and he was going on 16 when we got together. We were together for about 8 months. Anyway, he is a friend of my cousin, and around that time my cousin and I were super close, so he decided to introduce us. We immediately hit it off, and began talking on the phone for a while. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I quickly said yes, mostly just flattered that a guy would actually want me as a girlfriend.
I have always had a VERY low self esteem. That was something we had in common. His self esteem even derived from the same place mine did: he was overweight. To be honest, he was close to (if not over) 400 lbs. At that time I was only 170-190 lbs, so compared to him, I felt like a skinny girl. I have to say, that feeling felt amazing. Not only did he treat me like I was hot, he looked at me like I was a model. Enough said.
I can't really say when the relationship started to go sour. I think it may have been around the 4th or 5th month. I do know that when we would be hang out in person, I would feel happy while we were together, but then afterward I would feel almost embarrassed. And before anyone says anything about his weight, I can assure you that was not why I felt that way. You see, my mother would take me to meet him, and while we hung out, she would visit with my aunt, her mother, and my cousin who all occupied the same house (and only lived several miles from my ex). I guess I felt embarrassed because my mother saw us sitting close to each other on the couch.
Nothing ever happened between us. The most we did was cuddle on the couch, hug, and give a peck on the cheek to each other before leaving. But still, I felt weird.
Then he started to annoy me. It was little things to start out with, then it soon became almost everything he did. I jokingly referred to this as relationship rabies. It felt fitting at the time.
One thing about him was that I could never tell when he was telling the truth. He greatly exaggerated even the insignificant things he told me. Also, he never even took me out. He could drive, but didn't have car insurance, so my mother had to drive me to see him whenever we wanted to hang out.
Anyway, even though I grew tired of our relationship within 5 months or so, I hung on for 3 more months. I wanted to make sure my feelings weren't a temporary thing, and that I wouldn't regret breaking it off with him. When my feelings didn't change, I broke up with him, and he then proceeded to tell everyone that I said he was worthless and that no one would ever love him, even though I never said anything remotely close to that. I hate breaking up with people, and tried to be as polite as possible.
Okay. If you're still reading this, sorry for all the back-story. I just felt it was needed for what I'm about to say. By the way, I feel no desire to rekindle any kind of relationship (other than a friendship, but I probably won't since that would be awkward), I was just curious and decided to look him up on myspace.
Anyway, he has lost a LOT of weight, and I mean a lot. He's smaller than me now!
I'm not saying that I wanted him to remain fat, or anything, I am glad that he bettered himself ... but it kind of makes me feel bad seeing him an average body type, and me being about 50 pounds heavier than I was with him.
I remember hearing that he had some kind of weight-loss surgery and judging by his pictures, he has picked up smoking, so that explains how he lost it and has kept it off.
It just makes me feel bad about myself. Has anyone been through anything similar? Any suggestions? I really apologize for the length of this post, and I know that this has made me seem very cheap and mean, but I can't help how I feel.