[CrystalZ10]

Originally Posted by krampus

Roll her around in red wine and she'll be wearing a purple dress?

LOL!! There is an idea. Or you could "accidently" spill a huge glass of wine on her and ruin the dress...Oopsie..

I think this is why women go bridezilla sometimes. Its okay to do it when you have to. This day is yours and your husband to be. Its not about mom and she needs to be supportive. I think its weird that she took her friend shopping rather than you....

You are gonna have to be firm with her on this.

my mom didn't even bother to go to my wedding. I lived in NC and moved to Cali 3 days before I got married, and my sister drove with me and my dad flew out, but my mom refused to go.

[bargoo]

Weddings ! My MIL changed my bridal bouquet after it had been delivered, she sent it back and told them to change it. I never even got to see the bouquet I had ordered.

[Latchkey Princess]

I agree with NiteNicole. Just approach the situation in a mature and adult manner, even if she breaks down and gets emotional and tries to play the guilt trip on your (for hurting her feelings, not respecting her choices, etc.). It's common knowledge (in my opinion) that no one except the bride wears white to the wedding unless the bride deems otherwise. Off white is NOT an acceptable alternative. Just calmly tell your mom this on the phone, and thank her in advance for respecting your wishes since this is such a big day for YOU. Perhaps offer up an alternative color in a way that is polite and flattering, such as "I thought you would probably go with a light blue dress mom, that color has always looked lovely on you." But whatever you do, don't back down, don't give in to drama, and don't get in an argument over it. Good luck!

Oh, and don't let your dad make you feel bad. Let him know your mother is an adult and if she is hurt she can tell you herself in a respectful and calm manner, she doesn't need someone to fight her battles for her.

[konfyoozed]

my dad has always fought mom's battles for her. most of the time if i get into a disagreement with my mom, i end up in a yelling match with my dad by the end of it. mom's stubborn, but she would rather let him take care of the unpleasantness.

but i did talk to her. i called her last night and said "i'm sorry if it sounds selfish, but this is my wedding and i would prefer if you didn't wear a color that's so close to my gown, i'm supposed to stand out".. when she argued against that, i also explained to her that it's kind of taboo to wear white to a wedding where the bride is wearing a white dress, that i've only got one shot at the wedding pictures and i want everyone's happiness to be what stands out, not the awkwardness of "which sock is whiter" type color clashing... and when she argued against THAT with the claim of "it's not really off white, more of a really pale yellow..." i explained to her that people would notice and they would *talk*... mom hates that. so she gut huffy with me and finally said "FINE i'll take it back, but it's the only one i tried on that i actually liked. all the rest made me look like a grandmother!" (my mom's gonna be 53 this year, i think looking mature is acceptable?)

this morning she called me to tell me she'd returned it, how much she hated returning it because it was so pretty, and that she was gonna go shopping with her sister in florida this week. probably for something pink.

if it's hot pink, i may just scream.

[XLMuffnTop]

If you get along with her sister (your aunt?) call and explain the situation and see if she can "guide" your mother towards more appropriate choices.

[zoodoo613]

Originally Posted by krampus

Roll her around in red wine and she'll be wearing a purple dress?

Perfect!

Definitely common knowledge! And she had a friend with her too? Bizarre.

A quote from a friend of mine, while her sister was dealing with a difficult MIL during her wedding: "I'm glad my mother-in-law believes its the job of the mother of the groom to wear beige and smile."