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How do I "go out"?

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Old 04-09-2011, 12:37 PM   #1
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Default How do I "go out"?

Ok, point me in the right direction! It's Saturday...my children are with their father...and I want to go out tonight by myself. What does that mean and how does one do it?

The bar is pretty much out...just thinking about it sends me into panic mode, and I pretty much don't drink. What does "going out" mean without a bar? And I can't dance either! I'd love to try line dancing, but I'm not particularly crazy about country music.

Am I doomed to sit at home because all my friends are married?
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Old 04-09-2011, 12:45 PM   #2
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What about a lounge or coffee shop with live music? I feel like those are much more comfortable places to go alone. People who go often have the intention of meeting others, but many just go to enjoy the atmosphere and art, whereas a person who shows up alone at a bar usually comes with a specific intention (not that there is anything wrong with that, it just sounds like that's not what you are looking for). If you strike up a conversation with the person next to you, or end up sharing a table when the place gets full, you could meet someone interesting. If you don't you end up enjoying a relaxing evening in a nice atmosphere. Enjoy your night to yourself!
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Old 04-09-2011, 12:47 PM   #3
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Noooo... you're only doomed if you think you are. Check your local museums - maybe they have events going on. My art museum has a "first Friday" type event every month with loads of singles but not only singles - it's a fun time to just go out and meet folks. Even just hitting Barnes & Noble and walking around or sitting with a drink and enjoying a book if you enjoy that, is a good place to meet new folks - You'd be surprised how easy it is to talk to guys/be talked to there. Sports events tend to be family events - minor league baseball games, etc. - fun to go to but don't count on meeting guys there. I enjoyed those nights with groups of friends. Do you have a "club" in your city/town where it's ALL singles and you sign up for adventurous stuff - or mundane things ... cooking classes, canoeing, group hiking things (we have a club for that here, too!), you have to pay a fee up front for the membership but I've heard good things about those events.

Be up front with some of your friends and ask them if they have friends you'd be a good match with for company - doesn't have to be for life, but for a fun evening. Only ask those, though, who have made good choices themselves!

Get a copy of the newspaper and check out what actually IS going on this weekend and hit a few things - try a nice restaurant and sit at the bar if you like - get dressed up and be confident and treat YOURSELF - that's attractive in itself.
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Old 04-09-2011, 12:54 PM   #4
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My town is very social and has many local activities that people go to alone; plays, comedy nights, church dinners, fund-raisers, etc. Do you belong to a church and/or YMCA or other gym? Confide in another woman you know is single and ask her to do something. You might end up with a group of people.
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Old 04-09-2011, 12:55 PM   #5
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I have no valid suggestions, but wanted to comment because your question made me laugh. Sometimes I feel like everyone else in the world knows what common phrases like "go out" mean, except for me. The fact that you asked make me realize that there are other weirdos out there too.

Usually going out to me means dinner and drinks, but it's odd to do that by yourself. A movie? I dunno. I've got nuthin'.
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Old 04-09-2011, 01:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LetsWorkItOut View Post
The fact that you asked make me realize that there are other weirdos out there too.
I feel like I should probably be offended but I'm just weird enough not to be! I was never the type to go out. In HS and in college I just did things with my groups of friends. Usually that meant meeting up at someone's house. I went to coffee shops in college and loved it! But coffee shops at college campuses are different birds than in the real world. All we have that I can find online are Starbucks type places, and who cares about that?

Good suggestions! Maybe this is just a dud of a weekend, but an online search brings up nothin'.

I've thought about the church thing, but I can't call myself a Christian. I'm not exactly NOT a Christian...I have weird beliefs and do not fit into any particular denomination well at all. My beliefs fall in line with Judaism far closer than Christianity. I don't want to find someone based on a shared religious belief because I don't think that would be a good fit. Does that make sense? A conservative Christian man is going to think my thoughts on religion are pretty out there. I love a good debate...but perhaps not on a first date.

Maybe I'll just head to Barnes and Noble. I do like that idea! That fits me well! I just probably shouldn't look too engrossed in a book, huh?
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana : 04-09-2011 at 01:08 PM.
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Old 04-09-2011, 01:07 PM   #7
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I would second the coffee shop, museum, art gallery idea. I LOVE to go to coffee shops alone...and usually make a friend while I'm there. I've had people challenge me to a game of checkers (most have games in a corner to play) or sit and talk. If you want to meet people, don't read a book, newspaper or your cell phone. Look up and be alert. If you are looking down and reading, no one will approach you.
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Old 04-09-2011, 01:54 PM   #8
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I found a coffee shop!! And there's a guy playing acoustic guitar there tonight!! And he looks like a hippy! (That just mean this just might be my kind of place.)

Thanks guys! Keep the ideas coming! I need a book about going out for dummies. Feel free to tell me how to behave too! LOL! (Kind of like Razorbackbritt. Thanks!)
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Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana : 04-09-2011 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 04-09-2011, 02:20 PM   #9
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Not sure where you live, but you might want to see if your city has groups with www.meetup.com. Loads of groups for you to meet people with similar interests. I hope it works for you!
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:01 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliana View Post
I've thought about the church thing, but I can't call myself a Christian. I'm not exactly NOT a Christian...I have weird beliefs and do not fit into any particular denomination well at all. My beliefs fall in line with Judaism far closer than Christianity. I don't want to find someone based on a shared religious belief because I don't think that would be a good fit. Does that make sense? A conservative Christian man is going to think my thoughts on religion are pretty out there. I love a good debate...but perhaps not on a first date.

Maybe I'll just head to Barnes and Noble. I do like that idea! That fits me well! I just probably shouldn't look too engrossed in a book, huh?
Do you have a Unitarian Universalist church near you? That my be an option for churches - liberal, people of a wide array of spiritual beliefs on their own path, etc. Most churches do have singles groups or other events going on, so if you find one that you mesh with, it might be a good way to meet people - both friends and potential romantic interests.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:02 PM   #11
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And I would have no idea how to "go out" either.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:39 PM   #12
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Have fun. I think every woman should take herself out. So many people are scared to go places alone. There is no need to be in my opinion. You deserve to treat yourself, and going to a coffee house/or used book store is my perfect idea of a treat.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:49 PM   #13
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have you tried meetup.com and find groups around you.. I met a lot of interesting people through meetup.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:50 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nina125 View Post
have you tried meetup.com and find groups around you.. I met a lot of interesting people through meetup.
Dangit. You beat me to it. I was going to suggest meetup.
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Old 04-09-2011, 03:53 PM   #15
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Eliana, I did reply to this question the last time it was posed though it was very, very late. Very sorry for the delay. Hopefully some ideas that will work in there.

Have fun tonight!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/3790474-post20.html
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