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My bf broke up with me because I'm in nursing school.

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Old 03-25-2011, 03:56 PM   #1
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Default My bf broke up with me because I'm in nursing school.

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday because I only get to see him on Fridays and Sundays during the school semester. When he first asked me out back in December I warned him about school ruling a majority of my time, but if he was ok with it then we would be fine. I told him he was worth waiting for and to not give up on me because I was worth waiting for too. I would check in with him every now and then to make sure he was still okay with it and of course, he supported me. We would text and talk to each other over the phone alot. He lives 45 minutes aways and I'm always the one to meet him at his apartment. Now all of a sudden yesterday he says he just wants to be friends and try dating again in the summer when I'm not busy. He's tired of being the third wheel when he goes out with his friends and having to tell them "she's busy" whenever they ask about me. At first I thought, ok, we'll be friends and try in the summer, but after I think about it he's selfish and I've made sacrifices to get into school and still be able to see him. I don't think I'll even stay friends with him.

I just wanted to get that out somewhere.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:03 PM   #2
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You have made the right decision. He is a very selfish person who should be proud of you going into nursing school.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:10 PM   #3
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That's ridiculous.

When my husband and I met, he was in the military and would be gone on detachments for weeks at a time, and I was in school and worked 32 hours a week. Needless to say, we were both super busy.

On top of that, I lived in Denton and he lived in Fort Worth (where I see you are ). You know what kind of a drive that is to make often. But you know what, we both stuck it out because we wanted to.

It sounds like he's selfish or isn't interested. His loss your gain! Find someone better or just concentrate on you and school.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:13 PM   #4
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He's allowed to be selfish, though, and it doesn't necessarily need to have a negative connotation. I like to date a man who has time for me. If he is too busy with business travels and so forth, and I only get to see him once per week, that doesn't work for me. I take it for what it's worth.
We each have preferences and it sounds like yours didn't mesh with his. Good luck - as the saying goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:15 PM   #5
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Thanks for the help ya'll. He's selfish is the problem. He says he still likes me and wants to date later on, but not now because the "timeing with school is bad." It will be the same when I start school in the fall. I don't graduate until 2013. He lives in Euless, btw and the drive is killer. Especially traffic and gas prices these days. :P Thought he was worth it and now I know better.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:18 PM   #6
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Maybe he just didn't realize how needy he was and decided that he needed someone who has more time for him. It sucks, he should have known better, he should have told you sooner if he knew he was going to be able to handle a situation like that, but selfish(?) I dunno some people just need to feel like they have a lot of significance in their partners life and get lots of attention to feel validated. I would say don't get back together with him but I don't see the harm in being friends with him it's not like he cheated or purposefully broke your heart.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:20 PM   #7
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It sucks that first he said it was fine and now it's a problem- but better for him to let you go now rather than just stress you out.

You don't have to be friends if you don't want to- if he says anything I'd just say you need time away from him.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:26 PM   #8
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I think part of the problem is he works from home and gets bored. He had said if he was going to school himself he would understand and be more understanding, but since he hasn't been going to school for some time it's not his problem.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:27 PM   #9
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It's understandable if someone knows they need more attention that their partner is willing to give and moving on.

What I find selfish is saying they could try again in the summer. Really? Then what? Break up again at the start of the next term and wait for next summer? If you like someone enough to continue dating them, it's sometimes not on your schedule.

My opinion would have been slightly different if he had just said "I realize I just need more" and ended it and wanted to remain friends. With limited information, that's just how I see it.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:31 PM   #10
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Nope, that's pretty much what it was. He wanted to break up and stay friends until summer (when I had all the time in the world) and that's when we would date. :/ He would more than likely break up again within the fall semester.
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Old 03-25-2011, 04:38 PM   #11
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Ok, well thanks for all the feedback everyone. It helps me out alot.
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Old 03-25-2011, 06:03 PM   #12
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Im pretty sure I havent seen my husband except on the week end in ten years. We work different shift so that our children dont have to go to day care. It wont last forever though once we get our last kid in school but until then we are will to do what ever it takes to make our life work because we are worth it to each other. If he couldnt hack it now he probably never will.
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Old 03-25-2011, 06:49 PM   #13
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just a few random thoughts.
1. In weight loss I have read how sometimes you have to be selfish to remain in good health. His selfishness may not be for health reasons but it's still selfishness and may not always be bad.
2. I think it's better for him to tell you his needs and express how this isn't working for him than to say nothing and cheat on you.
3. He said maybe you could start dating again this summer he did not say anything about starting a relationship again.
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Old 03-25-2011, 07:08 PM   #14
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Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm not sure how this qualifies someone as selfish. Part of dating is figuring out what you require in a mate. Maybe he thought you being in school and not having that much disposable time wouldn't be an issue, but after experiencing it, he realized it wasn't for him. What if the shoe had been on the other foot? Would it have been fair for him to expect you to just sit around, unhappy, waiting for a time when he had more time for you.

Sometimes relationships just don't work out. It isn't any one person's fault, there is just an element that isn't working..whether it be a distance issue, a timing issue, a morality issue or whatever. best to just move on and try again.
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Old 03-25-2011, 07:26 PM   #15
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by the time you get your degree and are making good money he will be just an after thought...
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