[abetterme]

Originally Posted by Latchkey Princess

I personally want to prove to my family (extended moreso than immediate) that it's NOT our genetics that makes almost every female in the family fat. There's maybe 2 girls/women in my family that aren't obese and they're always called "lucky" and told they got the good genes. And most of my family isn't joking when they say it. I just want to show them all that even one of us with the "fat gene" can be healthy and fit with the proper attention to exercise and nutrition. I've already told them as much, now I can't wait to show them.

That's good. Let's hope you will inspire them. They might give it a good try and have success after seeing your hard work and accomplishments.

[abetterme]

Originally Posted by P H A T

Ummm YEAH .. LOL I want to lose weight For ME; but it also gives me happiness knowing that there are people like that who stir up something in you that makes you wanna go HARD !! I remember when I first lost 15 lbs; my favorite cousin who I love looked me DEAD In my face & said "yeah right" .. like I was lying.. LOL I guess you can't really tell much that I have .. I was like , "thats okay, btch, we'll see" .. LOL .. im laughing, but after that, I was like Oh Its On like donkey kong. Im gonna lose this weight & prove her WRONG & then laugh in her damn face.. LoL

lol I think those comments that at first hurt you can have such a positive impact for you to stay focused once you are truely ready to change your life.

[P H A T]

Originally Posted by Kelsey21

lol I think those comments that at first hurt you can have such a positive impact for you to stay focused once you are truely ready to change your life.

Definitely .. lol sometimes sarcastic negative jerks can be motivation

[Porthardygurl]

Originally Posted by JohnP

I'm not trying to be a jerk I am genuinely interested in how you came to be 300 lbs if you can't eat wheat or gluten. Large amounts of candy and soda?

I have no comment on your relatives. It wouldn't be fair without having their side of the story as well. Having said that we find our motivation where we can so if showing someone up drives you for now than go for it.

Thats the thing John.. I became 300 pounds because i lived off of junk food, sugar, binged on bread, pasta, doughnuts, chocolates..I had stomach problmes all my life but never once did i ever consider my stomach aches and having bloating as being an intolerance to gluten or wheat..And i ate sugar and potato chips and everything in sight..i could eat almost a whole cake to myself..Which is how i got to where i am now..Im a type 2 diabetic who cant eat sugar now and i cant eat wheat or gluten cause it turns out that i do in fact have an intolerance to it which causes my stomach to bloat severely..When i eat gluten or wheat i look like im 7 months pregnant, and when i dont..my stomach goes back down to a normal size..

So yes, to answer your question..cutting out gluten and wheat and sugar didnt occur until one month and five days ago..I didnt get to be 300 pounds by eating healthy by any means..it was all the crap i fed my body when i didnt care about my body, that got me to where i am now...Now im simply trying to reverse what i have done..and find health in the middle of it..

[Porthardygurl]

actually now that i come to think of it..the thing that most spurred me on to lose weight and exercise was probably every time i went through a break up with a guy.. i would just get sad for a day and then it would be all out anger and i would pound that treadmill so hard, i thought i wouldnt have feet ever again..but it worked..for a month or two until the anger went away and i was back to being happy...then i wouldnt want to go to the gym..lol.

[Resolute]

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl

actually now that i come to think of it..the thing that most spurred me on to lose weight and exercise was probably every time i went through a break up with a guy.. i would just get sad for a day and then it would be all out anger and i would pound that treadmill so hard, i thought i wouldnt have feet ever again..but it worked..for a month or two until the anger went away and i was back to being happy...then i wouldnt want to go to the gym..lol.

I agree anger is a **** of a motivator if you can channel it, although it takes a lot out of you to keep up the pretense.

[XLMuffnTop]

How my day is going affects the type of motivation I dwell on.

When I'm angry that I haven't lost a single freaking pound even though I've watched my diet and been to the gym 3 or 4 nights a week after everyone else is in bed, it's the "evil" motivation and thinking of the reaction I'd get from my ex. (I'm married now but found out he's engaged and wanna look WAY hotter than the new girl) I try not to dwell on this one too much as it's kind of negative but sometimes when you have a bad day, you go with what ya got.

When I know I've done well and I'm happy with my progress, it's the positive motivation and leading by example for my kiddos that makes me smile.

[JohnP]

Originally Posted by Porthardygurl

Now im simply trying to reverse what i have done..and find health in the middle of it..

You can do it! I can sense your resolve in your words. Look foward to your progress.

[kaplods]

My problem with "back-at-you motivation" is that it perpetuates the toxic environment that makes weight loss so darned difficult in the first place. I understand the urge to give someone a taste of their own medicine, but as Ghandi said (or something close), "An eye for an eye, and soon the whole world is blind."

but for me, it's not about pacifism, or even revenge, it's about creating a world in which fat and beauty are not used as weapons to shame or hurt anyone, not even those who have used them as weapons themselves.

No doubt it's naive, but I think if fat wasn't used as a way to torment, harm, or shame anyone, it would be far easier for people to seek and receive help in overcoming weight issues. They would ask for help sooner, they wouldn't try to hide or deny the problem they wouldn't be afraid and ashamed to be going to the doctor, to being seen doing something active in public (or just for being in public, or just for even existing).

A little friendly competition isn't harmful, but the line between healthy competition and vindictive competition can become fuzzy. I also know from experience that revenge rarely ever works out well. Either the person isn't at all upset by your "revenge" upon them (which takes away they victory) or they feel so bad that you feel like a huge bully, and that takes all the enjoyment out of it too. It's almost impossible to get just "the right amount" of revenge.

And even if it does work, the person rarely feels the "justice" in the situation. Even if they recognize that they "started it," they almost never consider the retribution to be fair. They instead think that the revenge was worse than their offense, so they plot their own revenge, and it's impossible to ever "even the score" in the eyes of both sides. It becomes a feud of Hatfield and McCoy proportions.

Vindictiveness is also an emotion that's very hard to sustain (at least without blowing it out of proportion). So the minute you do stop caring about "what they think" your motivation can go out the window too. Even if it's a temporary lapse in the emotion, that lapse provides ample time to binge and regain what's lost.

In my twenties, I spent years fantasizing about making an old boyfriend jealous with my fabulous (fantasy) career and weight loss so that he'd regret dumping me. When I finally ran into him years later, I did have the fabulous career, but hadn't lost the weight, but he was so unappealing (he'd gone no where at all with his life) that I couldn't muster the fantasy anymore. I "won" just by having a more successful life than he did. It was a pretty hollow victory though. I'm not petty enough to have enjoyed basking in his misfortune even if self-inflected (it really did illustrate the cliche that the best revenge is living well).

I think it's a normal impulse, I just think it almost never works out to the satisfaction of anyone.

[lucky8]

yes i have felt this way not just with family but with friends also. I find especially people who are also struggling with there weight or trying to lose become increasing interested in what you do, it so intrusive sometimes......its mad as from my experience its never seemed a positive attitude always seems there prying as there desperate to hear uve failed , as it makes them feel better about themselves. Very rare i get a genuine well done when i lose weight and yeah that thought does spurr me on , but i always have to remember im doing it for ME no one else, and i try to stick to that. At end of day its their problem if they have a problem just keep doing what ya doing x

[marianne78]

I went through a period like this. I'm the only overweight person in my family and all of them are athletic. My dad just kept nagging me about my weight, and it got to the point that I got so angry and thought I'd show them I could do it. It didn't work because I had the wrong motivation. Later on I just realized that if I wanted to lose weight, I had to do it because I wanted it for myself, not because I'm angry at my nagging family.

[ParadiseFalls]

Originally Posted by kaplods

No doubt it's naive, but I think if fat wasn't used as a way to torment, harm, or shame anyone, it would be far easier for people to seek and receive help in overcoming weight issues. They would ask for help sooner, they wouldn't try to hide or deny the problem they wouldn't be afraid and ashamed to be going to the doctor, to being seen doing something active in public (or just for being in public, or just for even existing).

Absolutely.