Wow the responses to this thread are so interesting!
With my mum, she's very loving and supportive in many ways, but she's also absolutely obsessed with weight in general. She's always been reasonably slim but usually as a result of on-off dieting, different fads, slimming clubs etc rather than a sustained healthy lifestyle. She constantly brings up her own weight, mine, my brother's and anyone elses in conversation with me. Even now I live in another country I get treated to updates over the phone: "Cheryl's been on a diet you know, she's a size 12 now" or "Did I tell you that Laura's put all that weight back on" (I'm usually like "Cheryl who? All what weight?!"). These comments are often made rather pointedly, so that I can't decide if I'm being being overly touchy or whether she really is trying to say, "Get the message and lose some weight, fatso!" It used to bother me when I was younger and more insecure, but now I'm happy with who I am (and I live further away!) it's fine.
I also get annoyed by her wildly overenthusastic praise of how I look whenever I lose a few pounds. This certainly isn't unique to her, but she does it a lot more than anyone else and it's really quite insulting to be told how awful I looked before. I mean, sure, I do look better, but it's like she doesn't think I'm the same person as I was before, with the same feelings.
Anyway all of these are minor frustrations really, we get along really well in general and I miss her when I'm so far away. But these days I never tell her (or anyone else, for that matter) when I'm trying to lose weight, because I find even people who try or claim to be supportive end up derailing my attempts in some way.
My mom had the same issues I have. She was underweight and also overweight. She never said things about my weight when it went up no matter how fat I got (she took me to a therapist when it was low) but my dad did. She genuinely seems happy when she notices I'm losing. She notices before anyone else except my husband who sees me everyday.
My mom is a food pusher, and when she sees me trying to stave off other food pushers she tells me I am being "rude" and "unsocial". She also severely judges fat people and is always telling me to lose weight/pointing out my problem area. Its not just the weight--its also my skin, my hair, my grades, my general lack of talent. I haven't lived with her for the last six years-- since I was eighteen--but the damage she's wreaked remains. I always thought that with time I would be able to assert myself and get out of it, but I haven't. I don't blame her for my weight per se, but I do blame my feelings of inadequacy and lack of self confidence on her--which is where a lot of my overeating stems from.
All of my immediate family except for my sister has always been overweight. My second year of college (14 years ago) my mom quit smoking and soon after started losing weight. She lost a significant amount though I don't really know how much. I believe she went down from a 22 or 24 to a 16. I was honestly very proud of her but also very jealous. About 8 years ago I had to move back home. During that time, she gained much of the weight back. I have since found out that she blamed all of the weight gain on me saying that she had to cook for me. I found that hilarious since I had lived on my own for so long and very much knew how to take care of myself.
About 3 years ago our relationship deteriorated into no relationship at all (whole other thing not to do with weight, well my weight at least). In the past 3 years I have seen her twice and not spoken to her other than those two times. The last time I saw her was three months and 35 less pounds into my lifestyle changed. My dad had tears in his eyes when he saw me he was so proud. My mother did not say one word about my weight loss. She found me on FB several months ago and messaged me about my weight loss, what I had done, etc. I don't know how sincere anything she wrote was. Based on the first time she saw me after losing some weight and our past in general, I'm pretty much okay with her not being in my life. I do not think she would be supportive at all.
yup, my mother has been overweight ever since she gave birth to her first baby. she also didn't know that the only way to lose weight is by eating "right" and exercising, so when i was a kid she would sometimes starve herself for days or wear clothes that would make her look less fat.
i've been chubby pretty much all my life and she also used to advise me in the clothing department ("wear this! it makes you look skinnier!"), but i never really followed in her footsteps--although i didn't really start exercising until a few years ago.
my mom is pretty supportive about my weight loss, but it's really frustrating to see her wishing she could be my size. we're not even the same height, and because of her age her metabolism is significantly slower than mine. i just wish she would stop comparing herself to other people and be happy with what she's accomplished by exercising more.
My mother has had a weight issue as long as I can remember. She now has high blood pressure, non insulin dependant diabetic, bad back, bad knees, 3 heart stints, gall bladder surgery, hooked on Vicadin, you name it she has it and she's still over weight.
She hates that my sisters and I try so hard to keep our weight down and exercise and do the right thing.
So, since we only manage to get together about every 3 months, after we do all the right things, if we should decide to have a beer, and play cards or pictionary, and no one is driving, no little kids, no pets, we're sitting at her kitchen table and sleeping in her house, she has 16 cat fits.
