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How to respond to spouse when he says something negative about appearance

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Old 02-01-2011, 12:04 PM   #1
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Default How to respond to spouse when he says something negative about appearance

Hi all,

So every once in awhile, my hubby will say something bad about my *ahem* aging face like: this lighting is bad for you, you're starting to get your granny's lower jaw, blah,blah, wrinkles, blah, blah, sagging skin, etc.

I just want to tell him to stfu , but I should handle it better than that, right?

Anyone have a more diplomatic way to respond?

Thanks

Last edited by ddc : 02-01-2011 at 12:05 PM.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:06 PM   #2
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"When you say things like that, it hurts my feelings. A lot."

Repeat as needed.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:14 PM   #3
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"Maybe you need a new prescription for your glasses grandpa."

THOUGH IMO STFU is perfectly appropriate.

Seriously though I'd just tell him why he feels the need to talk to you that way. He's not a teenager anymore EITHER.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:14 PM   #4
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Is he trying to be funny, making off-handed remarks, etc? Is he normally dense about social interactions (like it's inappropriate to make certain comments)? Or is he trying to be mean/a jerk? How he's saying it changes my answer.

If he's normally socially dense go with the above "that hurts my feelings." If he's joking, I personally am an eye for an eye type of girl, and would make a "joke" about something he is particularly sensitive about. Then ask how he likes it? If he's doing it in a hurtful manner...there are bigger issues to deal with.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:41 PM   #5
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A punch in the face would be appropriate to me...lol
Two ways, go about it saying he hurt your feelings and he needs to STFU, or make a rude remake back about his looks and see how much he likes it.
I don't think you need to handle it better, I think you need to be just as blunt and rude as he is to you to get the hint...but that's just me.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:48 PM   #6
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Maybe tell him that you are both aging at the same speed and you still love him with the huge bags under his eyes LOL. On a serious note just tell him that he is hurting your feeling and that aging is a natural process that we all go throught. Then tell him to stuff it
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Old 02-01-2011, 03:43 PM   #7
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Just turn round and throw an insult back at him. If he can't take what he deals, then he's a bully and a coward.

Tell him he's getting man boobs or something if he insults you. Men don't like it when you insult their appearance. Insecure much, boys?
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Old 02-01-2011, 03:54 PM   #8
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"Wow. I can't believe you said something that rude. I'm embarrassed for you."
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:03 PM   #9
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eclipse... That's perfect. Lub it!!!
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:04 PM   #10
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Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:22 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
This ^^ appeals to me
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Old 02-01-2011, 04:43 PM   #12
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I don't know him. So I would repeat what I heard and verify.

"I just heard you call me old and ugly. Is that really what you meant to say?"

If that's what he meant to say, then you can go right ahead with STFU!

If he's trying to say "You are so cute! All the women in your family are cute! Even up to your granny!" then teach him to say it the way you want to hear it. Not in this bungled fashion.

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Old 02-01-2011, 06:30 PM   #13
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"gee, it's nice to hear you still find me attractive, dear. how's that hemmroid? remember when you used to be able to go all night? those were the good old days."
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Old 02-01-2011, 07:15 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."

I like this response too.

He's your husband, not your enemy. Tell
him how his comments make you feel.

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Old 02-01-2011, 07:28 PM   #15
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oohh..let me tell you, making sure other guys *notice* you is an absolutely EXCELLENT plan of action..I wouldn't tell him about other guys..I would just make sure he sees other guys having a look your way time to time...and be sure to be oblivious to the attention! With your stats it really shouldn't be hard!
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