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Still venting, still hurt, still betrayed.

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Old 01-09-2011, 11:54 AM   #1
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Default Still venting, still hurt, still betrayed.



If you've seen my last post, I was
venting about my cousin (see here).

Sad to say the abuse and bullying has not
ceased. Which is why I'm so frustrated.
She first came after my mother and myself,
and now she is going after my cousin.

He deleted her off of his facebook when she
started talking badly about us to him, and that
triggered and upset her so much that she started
cyber bullying him. This isn't just typical "I hate you"
cyber bullying. She's telling him and I (we're the
same age) that we should just go throw up together,
she's calling my mother a fat hoe, she's making
all these horrible and awful remarks.

What is so mind bottling is that she's actually
blaming my mother for the family refusing to talk
to her anymore! She does not see that her BS
talking about everyone has pushed the family
away from her. No one wants to be around her
negativity or get caught up in her drama.

I can't even comprehend how her mind operates.

My question is, how should I go about this?

We've already reported her facebook, however
she is still continuing to post and I don't think
facebook has checked out her profile yet.

My mother and I were thinking about pressing
charges against her, however my cousin moves
around so much that we're unable to find an
address. My cousin already got out of jail, and
she was bragging about how she isn't scared
of the police.

I just can't even. This has gone too far,
this has to stop. I've been patient about
not messaging her and I'll continue to refrain
from starting more drama.

In her mind she's the victim, but that is
just causing her to lose all those around her.


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Old 01-09-2011, 12:14 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'd block her (and whatever IP addresses you can find linked to her) from every online account you have, your mother has and your other cousin has. Document everything, too.
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Old 01-09-2011, 12:16 PM   #3
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I would completely ignore her.

People like that tend to burn themselves out quickly when they don't get reactions or reasons to continue.

I speak from experience, since my mother is very much like your cousin.
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Old 01-09-2011, 01:32 PM   #4
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I agree on "documenting everything"--then again, I watch way too much People's Court Taking and keeping screenshots of her comments, copies of emails, text messages, and what have you would only be beneficial.

Other than that, I'm afraid I don't have any real advice. I hope your cousin gets what's coming to her... but she probably has. She's propbably incredibly miserable and the only way she can feel good about herself is to bring others down to her level.

You could attempt to be overly nice to her. Send her greeting cards every other week, ask her how she's doing, go out of your way to cheer her on for her little successes... kill her with kindness. I bet she'd have no idea how to react to that.
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Old 01-09-2011, 01:51 PM   #5
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If, and only if you are afraid for your life, take some screen shots of the bullying and send them to her local police department and ask how to take a TRO out against her. (A temporary restraining order.) If it's not that bad, block her everywhere and complain to her ISP with screenshots.
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:41 AM   #6
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Sounds like she has a Cluster B personality disorder. I speak from experience. I'll just leave it at that.
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Old 01-10-2011, 03:17 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theCandEs View Post
Sounds like she has a Cluster B personality disorder. I speak from experience. I'll just leave it at that.
i was going to say the same thing...

it really sounds like your cousin is suffering from something more psychological...and that's something that no amount of you approaching her will fix or resolve- it would only cause her to become more belligerent and defensive.
definitely document everything, reporting her to FB is a good idea, and honestly, i would speak to other members of your family that you trust that she may have contact with to urge her to go to counseling. give them a heads up on what's been going on as well. also, if she is in an abusive relationship, she most certainly might need counseling for that.

i'm sorry she's causing such a problem for you and your family...hope this stops soon.
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Old 01-10-2011, 03:59 AM   #8
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Cut her out of your life. Like, completely. Just say, in your mind that this person has now ceased to exist.

I have worthless sacks of $#@! like this in my family too, and I simply threw them off a cliff in my imagination. Let the bodies hit the floor.

You're worth far more than letting a slag like this live in your head rent-free.

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Old 01-10-2011, 10:09 AM   #9
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I'm sorry to hear about this happening to you. I would agree with some of the other posters in just ignoring her. It sounds like she has a lot more going on with her than I can even imagine. She has some major issues with herself if she feels the need to lash out at decent people for her own shortcomings. I'm glad you already reported her to FB and hopefully they will find her messages and delete her. Family and friends that know you and your family will already know she is full of BS so just try to ignore it. I hope it gets better soon.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:32 AM   #10
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What a cry for attention. She'd likely appreciate all of the posts on here about her. I agree with the other posters; you may be best off to just ignore the whole thing. She is a young woman with likely a very small sphere of influence who needs attention very badly. If you stop giving it to her she may be forced to move forward with her life. It will allow you to move forward as well.
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Old 01-10-2011, 10:34 AM   #11
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Cut her out completely. Block her from facebook, switch your email and then hide your account so she can't find you. Continue to report her facebook until it get's deleted (or if you have her email and password go do it yourself and change it.) Maybe create a new facebook and make it very limited access and only keep the people who mean the world to you instead of having whoever you have on there. Eventually what goes around comes around. She's making a lot of enemies and when she hits rock bottom and needs support she will not have it. Keep every message she has ever writen you and save it to a file, Document everything she had done before you fully get rid of her then you will have proof if she turns into more of a twit.
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Old 01-10-2011, 07:48 PM   #12
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I have not contacted her in months and
I agree ignoring her would be the best thing to do.

In an odd, twisted way, I actually felt like
sending her a message telling her how dearly
I love her. No matter how much hurt she is
causing, no matter how much pain she's
inflicting, I still wish her well and hope she
has enough courage to fight her demons
and get her life in order. She's so naive,
confused, hurt, and I pity her greatly.

As always, you ladies and gents go out of
your way to help and educate me.
I will definitely look up this personality disorder.
Thank you for giving me a place to vent.


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Currently collecting games for my N64. Currently searching for a Magnavox Odyssey console.
Let's talk video games!


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