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Old 12-16-2010, 03:19 AM   #1
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Default Ex boyfriend advice

So my boyfriend broke up me with a month ago. After that we tried to remain friends and did a good job of it (we had been best friends before the relationship). But then we had a pretty bad fight. Words were said, some harsh ones.. on both our parts. That was a month ago.

Now he has basically ignored me for the past month. I mean he has practically dropped off the face of the planet. Here lately I've noticed he has been trying to make me jealous via online flirting with other girls. I know this because he slipped and posted a "private message" as a comment. He is basically getting girls to leave him flattering comments and such to get my attention.

I don't know how to deal with such a passive aggressive action. I have been ignoring him but it makes me angry that he would act this way. It is beyond immature and totally pointless. We are both adults and he is actually quite a bit older than me. Is he trying to prove a point, get revenge, hurt me, or get a reaction? Why is he stooping so low and do you guys have any advice for me at all? I appreciate it so much.
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:40 AM   #2
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My ex did similar things, all you can really do is continue to ignore him. I mean, unless you're getting back with him in the future you have nothing to gain from confronting him. His friendship clearly was never that great to begin with if he can be like that. My big thing, after we had our bad break up and he was shoving his new girls in my face, was to cry haha. Then I'd think, "maybe if I show him how bad it's hurting me he'll stop". Well, yeah it works, but what cost does it take to your pride? Now I look back on it and I'm like UGH I should have just sucked it up! Lol

Anyways, he hasn't seen me since I've dropped 100+ pounds and I know I shouldn't care but I cannot waiiit until I run into him! Think of it in that way, even though we shouldn't! haha
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:53 AM   #3
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I guess the thing that bothers me is.. he know's that I'm hurting and having a difficult time yet he's still trying to make me jealous for some reason. So that just makes it harder.
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Old 12-16-2010, 05:59 AM   #4
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Screw man-babies and passive aggressive e-provocation. Living well is the best revenge. Be happy and love yourself and block him. You don't need man-babies messing up your life. You've got stuff to do and you've lost almost 100 pounds and did I mention you don't need man-babies?
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Old 12-16-2010, 06:18 AM   #5
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I totally agree with krampus. I would block him too. Maybe you can be friends again in awhile, but obviously, not right now.
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:12 AM   #6
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Well, from the old lady, he is probably hurting too and cold turkey is his way of healing. Clearly it is not yours but sometimes we don't get to choose how others do things especially when you are not together. It will get easier over time and you can use the space to become a better you and concentrate on your WL.
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:19 AM   #7
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Cut him off thats what **** be looking for a reaction. Ignoring him will make him stew.

It obvious all these flirting comments are for your benifit, dont rise to it.
Delete him out your life soon a she realises y jus not interested in that childish game maybe **** grow up
And as a woman ull feel more empowered and stronger that u didnt let his silly games get to you,xxx
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:48 AM   #8
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I had an ex that did similar things. He even went so far as to have his girlfriend creature stalk me and my FB, MySpace etc. For a while I fed into it, and let it get to me, and it showed, because every nasty blog post or comment from her was answered with one from me. He even got a friend of mine (of 20odd years) in on his shenanigans. Finally I was done. I put one more blog blast up about the truth (which he seemed to have forgotten) and blocked them all and cut off the friendship of 20odd years (since High School) and went about my business. Life got insanely better. The sad part about this whole thing is that he is 14 years older than me, (I was 34 at the time) so yeah, WOW.

Anyway, just leave it alone. He knows that he his hurting you, and truth be told he is probably hurting as well. I would just send him a message to have a great life and then quietly disappear from his. As long as you have this tie to the past like that, you cannot move forward, it will keep you anchored in negativity.
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Old 12-16-2010, 10:38 AM   #9
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Do your best to cut all ties. I know it may be difficult but it'll help the healing process.
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Old 12-16-2010, 11:04 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
Screw man-babies and passive aggressive e-provocation. Living well is the best revenge. Be happy and love yourself and block him. You don't need man-babies messing up your life. You've got stuff to do and you've lost almost 100 pounds and did I mention you don't need man-babies?
^^This^^ is good advice. I was always the 'screw him, ill show them i dont need them' girl... lol. And if he's stooping so low as to act that way, who needs him? You are much better off with out him.
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:31 PM   #11
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Sweetheart it does NOT matter how old a man is, they are still immature so if he’s let’s say 30, his maturity level (mostly on a break up and other times as well when a male’s pathetic ego is hurt) is half his age so he’ll really have the mentality of a 15 year old. Forget him, he wants to be childish let him he’s clearly very hurt and wants to get back at you so that’s why he’s doing it, but instead of being a man with a set of balls to talk to you about it, he becomes a child and acts like one.

I once had an ex email me after months saying and I quote. “Hey, how’s life? Soooo over me yet?” He didn’t get a very good reaction out of it…but that’s exactly what he wanted was a reaction. So your guy is doing what he wants to get a reaction out of you, in hoping you would be the first to contact him because he’s a pansy and won’t do it himself. Just drop all contact with him and as other’s have said block him, move on with your life. No point on holding back for petty crap. Friends come and go, bestfriends come and go, and lovers come and go, and usually you cannot be friends with an ex. So move on, forget him and continue on concentrating on yourself. (easier said then done I know) but maybe stay clear of any boards he flirts on that you also go on for a while.
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:39 PM   #12
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he is your ex for a reason, why are you still dealing with him and playing his little games in the first place. find the delete button and use it
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:40 PM   #13
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The best piece of advice I ever got:

"It's okay to not be friends"
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:34 PM   #14
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I don't know where the flirting in your face is, but "he's not that into you."

Move on.
There is nothing 'wrong' with you.

Joy does come in the morning.

Take your time to heal, keep busy, love yourself and surround your self with people who love you.
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:58 PM   #15
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Moving on from him as a boyfriend isn't difficult, we only dated for three months. Moving on from him as my best friend seems impossible.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll try to focus on my weight loss.
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