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Happy about possibly not having Thanksgiving plans

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Old 11-23-2010, 04:57 PM   #1
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Default Happy about possibly not having Thanksgiving plans

I don't know where this belongs, so I'm posting it in the general chatter section and its the end of the work day and I just need to write things out for a minute.

So, my very good friends invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with them about a month ago. I felt a little bad not going to see my usual friends, but since they asked me first, I agreed. We never made arrangements for what time I was to show up, etc. as it was just talked about briefly.

This is a friend of mine and her husband. The woman is the person I'm good friends with. On Friday she posted online in a filtered post (we are on a blogging community) that she is having some relationship issues. Sadly, she mentioned that they have talked about divorce and things are not going very well for her at the moment. She said she was out of town that weekend and when she got back Monday night (yesterday) she would know whether she was going to try to make the marriage work.

Now, I'm in an awkward place. I don't know if I should bring up the subject of Thanksgiving or not. I certainly don't want to be there if it isn't a happy environment and either way, I'd feel like a third wheel (if they are trying to work things out, they should be alone).

The truth of the matter is that I'm hoping that she doesn't say anything to me about it. I don't want to bring the subject up and unless she writes to me telling me telling me what time to stop by, I'm going to assume it is over.

Wouldn't you assume the plans were off if you haven't heard anything about it and Thanksgiving is only 2 days away?

Right now, I'm very focused on the things I am eating and do not want to be tempted. I'd much prefer eating alone this holiday. I certainly will see friends, but it doesn't need to involve hedonism!
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Old 11-23-2010, 05:31 PM   #2
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Given the situation and the fact that the holiday is only two days away I'd assume that they are not expecting you for the dinner. Chances are she's forgotten all about it in the stress of her marital situation.
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Old 11-23-2010, 06:07 PM   #3
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I think that is probably the case.
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Old 11-23-2010, 07:00 PM   #4
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I would contact her and ask. It would be very frustrating if she was in fact expecting you, bought the food and made plans only to have you not show up. You could certainly be honest with her an tell her how you feel and ask to get together with her sometime for lunch.

I do understand your feelings.
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Old 11-23-2010, 09:02 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cbmare View Post
I would contact her and ask. It would be very frustrating if she was in fact expecting you, bought the food and made plans only to have you not show up. You could certainly be honest with her an tell her how you feel and ask to get together with her sometime for lunch.

I do understand your feelings.
The problem is we never had specific plans. She never told me what time to come over, what to bring, etc. I don't think she can be upset if I don't show up if she never mentioned it to me again.
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Old 11-23-2010, 09:59 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matt_H View Post
The problem is we never had specific plans. She never told me what time to come over, what to bring, etc. I don't think she can be upset if I don't show up if she never mentioned it to me again.
Then I would do something else. If she brings it up, you can state what you've told us.
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Old 11-24-2010, 10:11 AM   #7
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Update:

Thanksgiving is cancelled. I'm free
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:07 PM   #8
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Matt, I went through a similar situation last year and ended up with soup and sandwich for my dinner alone and a long walk. I don't think I'd want to spend every Thanksgiving alone, but gave me a lot of time for reflection and felt nice to start the holiday season with a bit of a calorie deficit for a change.
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Old 11-24-2010, 07:51 PM   #9
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wow, what a story. Have a great T-day, Matt!
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