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4/10 Think Marriage Is Obsolete?....SAD!

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Old 11-18-2010, 09:27 PM   #1
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Unhappy 4/10 Think Marriage Is Obsolete?....SAD!

I am really saddened by these stats

As a 56 year old conservative Christian male in a wonderful 2nd marriage I am really bothered by this article...for the entire article click on the Pew Research Center....

40% think marriage is obsolete yet over 60% think single moms is not cool....

IMHO it seems more and more we want, as a society, all the perks without the responsibility.....

http://www.aolnews.com/nation/articl...Clink6%7C26593
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:34 PM   #2
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I don't think marriage is obsolete. How sad.

My perspective may be skewed because my own marriage was somewhat hard won.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:50 PM   #3
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Marriage isn't obsolete as most people do get married, but I don't think it's necessary to live a fulfilling life either and I don't get the hate on single/unmarried parenting that happens.

I don't intend to marry my boyfriend any time soon because neither of us want children or are interested in living together.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:04 PM   #4
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I didn't want to get married until after I started dating my husband. Also, it would depend on how you define "Single Moms". My mom was a single mom for a long time and it was hard on her and I'd say definitely 'not cool'. If a couple wanted to be unmarried and unmarried without kids, that is up to them. People shouldn't feel obligated to be married because I think a lot of people make bad decisions because they believe they HAVE to be married.

And then there are others that want to be married but can't.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:13 PM   #5
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I'm afraid that I probably qualify as one of those people that is beginning to question marriage...

Personally, I always wanted to grow up, find a wonderful guy, and get married. Now, I know I'd be perfectly happy with the first two. I can honestly say that I wholeheartedly hope to find someone to spend the rest of my life with in a monogamous committed relationship, but I've lost the love I once felt for having an official marriage. Most of my changing viewpoint comes from the fact that I am personally very disappointed with our government's position regarding gay marriage (I'm not trying to shove my views in anyone's face or start a huge argument here - just IMHO), and I have a hard time participating in a ceremony/institution that is denied to my friends because of their sexual orientation. I honestly could only happily get married in a state or country that has legalized gay marriage. I personally have a problem participating in something that says my love for my partner is more valid than anyone else's love. I have no idea if any of the people responding to the survey share my feelings, but changing viewpoints on marriage might not be a reflection of a lack of desire to be in a monogamous committed relationship, but a reflection of the fact that they don't want to give the government the power to declare whether their love is worthy of the title of marriage.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:15 PM   #6
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I'm married! It took me 10 years to get my husband to marry me, but it finally happened this year! I think that people should make the right decision for themselves and not have to feel like they should be married or they have to be married. To each their own.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:16 PM   #7
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Oh and I should say for my mom, my father definitely wasn't the best thing for her mental health. She tried to stick it out through gambling, cheating, whatever else but after 11 years of marriage, she did the best thing she could've done and that was kick him to the curb. I also think that if she didn't believe so strongly in 'marriage', that she might've gotten rid of him before she did. So being a single mom for her was better than a married one.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:26 PM   #8
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I am not married yet, and won't be for a few years but I definitely believe in the institution.
IMHO - Marriage is definitely NOT obsolete... But thanks in part to our addiciton to all things commercial, too many people are putting the emphasis on the Wedding.... not realizing that the party is the beginning, not the destination.
People may be looking at the cost of the wedding and comparing it to the divorce rate, then saying it isn't worth it.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:26 PM   #9
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I'll be married 14 years tomorrow, and love my husband more everyday. I am a firm believer in marriage, but can understand how some might be losing hope. I agree that we want more but want to be less accountable. I was reading an article on childhood obesity and scientists have actually come up with an electronic device that a child would wear most of the day that would verbally remind them to get up and do something active. Um, isn't that a parent's job? In this age of increasing technology and convenience, we're losing our basic knowledge and instincts regarding ourselves and responsibilities. Sorry for the mini-rant.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:56 PM   #10
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What a great discussion! Enlightened and enlightening. We need to have these discussions about all the social and political and environmental..and..and and..We *need to have these discussions! Thanks EZ.
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Old 11-19-2010, 05:44 AM   #11
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I have been married 22 years now ( I was married at 17) and I find it sad that marriage does not seem to mean as much to people anymore. My husband and I have had our ups and downs over the years. Heck, we still have our ups and downs but we haven't given up and that's what I think happens to too many couples....they just give up.
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:51 AM   #12
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This just makes me sad because a (getting smaller every day) part of me would love to be married but I dont even know how people date anymore. The only propositions I ever get sound suspiciously like one night stands. I think a lot of single men my age dont even want a relationship let alone a marriage. They just want meaningless sex. So I've embraced the single life because I just will NOT sleep around like that.
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:56 AM   #13
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Well, I can tell you this. I'm married. I'm not happily married at the moment. If this marriage ends I will not remarry. So I guess I am a bit disheartened.

BUT, I still see a purpose in marriage. It's why I'm still married! I think I just don't see the grass as greener on the other side. I thought I could live forever like this but I was wrong. I wouldn't want to be this wrong again.

I have got to stop posting like this. My husband really is trying. Just saying...
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Old 11-19-2010, 10:55 AM   #14
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I don't think marriage is obsolete, I don't know if I'll ever get married again . . . what I do think is people give up on marriage far too easily.
I may fall into that category for some, what my ex did was a deal breaker and not something I was willing to work through.
maybe that's the problem - its easier some people think, to get divorced, than to stick around for the hard times.
Couple friends I have now are engaged, and are more focussed on the wedding and not the marriage. It's an odd thing to watch.
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:37 PM   #15
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The problem for me isn't marriage it's the religious connotations that go along with them and it's the fact that not EVERYONE is allowed to get married. I am married and have been for going on 8 years. It's not always happy, but it's a commitment I made and I'm not willing to let it go easily.

I do wonder at the validity of marriage in the spiritual sense- no matter what the religious or spiritual beliefs. I am wondering if that part of marriage has taken a back seat to the fiscal, financial, and legal aspects of being married.

Sometimes I get scared for the future because even though I am in a one man, one woman marriage- I am bisexual and if anything ever changed for me or if my life-partner had turned out to be a woman my life would be entirely different. Not only that, but by the same argument that it should be "one man and one woman under god" my husband and I are not validly married either because we are very much secular. It scares me that in the future my marriage would be seen is invalid, much like some of my gay married friends, because it leaves a bad taste in the mouths of others.
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