I don't kknow if this goes into the "issues after weight loss" area or not because I haven't lost the weight yet, so sorry if it needs to be mvoed.
Okay okay. I'm only 16.6 lb down, not a huge feat but it's definitely something. But there's no way my ticker can be right. It can't be. Because if i it is, I only have 20-something more pounds to lose before I'm at goal.
But here's the deal, when I think about being "done" I get REALLY anxious. Maintaining seems so scary to me for some reason. So I've decided, once and for all, that I want to drop my goal weight to 130. There's really nothing wrong with 140, but 130 would mean I was no longer obese.
And then I was thinking, why go 130 when I could go 120? But THEN I think "120 is so unrealistic, get real. Aim for 140. It's at least obtainable."
So on one hand i'm really supportive of myself and excited and I really do THINK I can do it, but since I don't ever remember being 130 or even 140, they just seem so impossibly out of reach. I only remember being 140, 175 and 185. Nothing in between. probably because I didn't weigh myself back then.
And I'm also afraid that when it's all over, I won't see the physical changes I want to see. I know that sound silly, because I HAVE seen some. I have a waist now, my hips are more defined, my stomach looks okay in jeans.
But my arms are so flabby, and so are my thighs, it makes me think that even at goal weight I won't be happy with them. I don't know what my issue is, because I knew I'd have to deal with this sooner or later.
I won't ever really be done, because it's a lifestyle change, but something about being so close to goal is really freaking me out and I'm just sort of conufsed and really anxious. What if I don't look as good as I think I should at 140? What if nobody even notices? What if people still consider me fat? What if I'm not happy?