I don't kknow if this goes into the "issues after weight loss" area or not because I haven't lost the weight yet, so sorry if it needs to be mvoed.
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Okay okay. I'm only 16.6 lb down, not a huge feat but it's definitely something. But there's no way my ticker can be right. It can't be. Because if i it is, I only have 20-something more pounds to lose before I'm at goal.
But here's the deal, when I think about being "done" I get REALLY anxious. Maintaining seems so scary to me for some reason. So I've decided, once and for all, that I want to drop my goal weight to 130. There's really nothing wrong with 140, but 130 would mean I was no longer obese.
And then I was thinking, why go 130 when I could go 120? But THEN I think "120 is so unrealistic, get real. Aim for 140. It's at least obtainable."
So on one hand i'm really supportive of myself and excited and I really do THINK I can do it, but since I don't ever remember being 130 or even 140, they just seem so impossibly out of reach. I only remember being 140, 175 and 185. Nothing in between. probably because I didn't weigh myself back then.
And I'm also afraid that when it's all over, I won't see the physical changes I want to see. I know that sound silly, because I HAVE seen some. I have a waist now, my hips are more defined, my stomach looks okay in jeans.
But my arms are so flabby, and so are my thighs, it makes me think that even at goal weight I won't be happy with them. I don't know what my issue is, because I knew I'd have to deal with this sooner or later.
I won't ever really be done, because it's a lifestyle change, but something about being so close to goal is really freaking me out and I'm just sort of conufsed and really anxious. What if I don't look as good as I think I should at 140? What if nobody even notices? What if people still consider me fat? What if I'm not happy?
I was there. Ultimately, you really won't be able to answer that until you get there. When I had my trainer, he said the lowest I could go would be 156. He guaranteed I'd be a size 6 though. I thought I could handle that. But I didn't like myself at 156, ( i was still in an 8) so I dropped another 21 lbs and even went as low as 129. I was happy there. I felt great, I was fitting into fours and some 2's. It just depends on how your body will carry everything.
For me, going lower means more wiggle room. Even though my "goal" that I tell everyone is 160 I expect that I will settle more at 150 just because that way I can gain a few pounds and still be considered relatively "thin".
I also think that,when we get to our goal weights, we have to remember that it is not over. We will still (hopefully) keep working on our bodies and building muscle so our bodies will still be improving and even getting smaller even if we stay at the same weight.
I'm kind of feeling the same way, but for a different reason. I can't wait to be finished losing! I'm scared of maintenance, of course, but to be finished losing means I'm small, sexy, healthy, strong! Right now I'm not-small, not-sexy, not-healthy, not-strong, but I'm halfway there.
Another thing is, I look down at my body, and I think there is NO WAY all this fat will disappear in another 30-some pounds. I can't be objective about it, not until I get there. When I look at the scale and it says "170.0" then I need to look at the tags in my clothes, my bras/panties, my shoes, and see if I'm happy or if there's more room for improvement.
Don't fear being done losing. . .just take it as it comes and keep plugging away until you get there!
Lowering goal weight because of anxiety?
