I recently had a semi break up with my boyfriend. He took it incredibly badly, and came around the next day to talk things over properly. We started talking okay, and working out some of the issues, and as I thought we were on the brink of resolving things and being okay again, he had a complete meltdown.
He told me how he had come incredibly close to killing himself the previous night, he couldn't talk or communicate properly and was just shaking/crying for ages. I did my best to comfort, get through to him, but what can you say to someone when they're like that?
He then left abruptly saying that it was over and wouldn't work anymore, when I tried to call him a bit later on he was crying so much i couldn't understand him.
Eventually I persuaded him to go home, mainly wanting him to because I was going out of my mind worrying what he might do.
I spoke to him properly the next day, after he had rested lots and we had a more level headed talk, and now things are kind of getting back to normal... Only I don't know whether this relationship has a future. I like him, and i care about him so much but those 2 days were so traumatic, being the only way I could describe it, I'm not sure I should continue.
Honestly most of the reason I had put off bringing up some of the issues I thought the relationship had, and whether I still wanted to be with him, was because I didn't trust him to keep himself safe.
Now I worry if we get back together properly, and later down the line it ends, or something else bad happens when we're together, he might actually hurt himself, or I'll be worrying if he has etc. No matter how much I mention that he should talk to someone professional or open up to someone more, he never does it, because once he is feeling better he forgets about it all seemingly.
I just don't know whether I can go through with this, the next day on the way to work I was nearly bursting into tears on the bus, feeling like I couldn't face anything.
I know it sounds awful and selfish but I'm already my mums carer, which in itself is an awful lot of stress, maybe I should let this go for my own well being? But then I feel guilty thinking of doing that just based on the fact he has some issues-And don't we all? I really don't know what to do, maybe the whole point of relationships is to stick it out with each other through these things? For the record we've only been together 'officially' 4 months, but have been close for ages.
Sorry for going on for so long, just have no idea what to do for the best...