Clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in
 

I have a definite list of clothes I wouldn't wear if I was paid to model them.

Number one on that list is the muumuu. I think this is emotional baggage leftover from the days when big women wore muumuus because that's all that was available to them. The trouble is, those big round puffy muumuus make even thin women look ginormous. How can any woman look good in something shaped like a tent, especially when it's so boldly patterned that it enters the room five minutes before she does? When I want the convenience and comfort of a muumuu, I'll wear a sundress instead.

Also on my list:

Polyester knit slacks. You know, the kind with the all-around elastic waist, usually bright-colored, and with a sewn-in crease up the front of the legs. I've rarely seen anyone under the age of 60 wearing them.

Swimdresses. These were forever touted as the "fat woman's" bathing suit, to "hide" those big thighs. Nothing like wearing a stereotype, to advertise to the world that you're trying to hide something. I do a tankini instead. All the coverage of a one-piece, with the convenience of a two-piece. No, the bottom half of my tankini does not have a skirt.

Solid black. While the LBD may be cute on many women, I'm rebelling against, "No, no, dear. You can't wear red. You have to wear black. It's slimming." Oh, bite me. I'm not going to look skinny in anything I wear, so don't take choice away from me. Even at a funeral, I won't wear solid black unless I pair it with a bright color, or white.

Thong underwear. For reasons I'd rather not say. Or show.

Bermuda shorts. I don't know, when I was a kid it seemed like all the fat ladies wore them. I like for my shorts to be hemmed midway between the hip and the knee.

What's on your no-no list?

Clothing is all relative to time, place, budget, and personal style.

For instance, I won't wear anything muumuu-ish here. But in Hawaii? Costa Rica? Get me on vacation over there and I might! Those types of hot places evolved loose cotton dresses for a reason. But I do prefer the Guami style of solids with accents to big all over floral ones.

I'm not keen on thongs, super high heels, clothing that's too fussy to launder, animal prints, and neon colors. I'm also not keen on things so short that don't pass the toe test. (Bend over and touch your toes and take a gander at the rear view in a mirror. )

A.

I grew up in a city that a lot of polynesian families so they often wore muumuus because that was their culture but I never saw anyone else wearing them. A lot of them looked really nice and the women were of all different sizes. When I went to Hawaii, I bought a dress there, it wasn't a muu muu but it was a similar style.

I'm not sure I have anything on my will not wear list, it really depends on the clothes.

I could say I'd never wear bright pants but who knows if that would be true tomorrow.

I would've also said that I would've never worn primary black on top and bottom but then I went to White House/Black Market and found some fabulous clothes. I'd totally wear my black jeans with my black beaded top or other tops I got there.

In the past, I would've also said I would've never bought long tops. It seems many overweight women buy long tops to cover their belly. I never saw the point. Yesterday, I wore a fabulous tunic top though.

I've said this before, when someone else asked this question: Anything worn by the cast of the TV shows Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious and Jersey Couture.

A branch of female relatives used to come up to Pennsylvania from New Jersey & influenced some of the Pennsylvania relatives' tastes. While I looked on in horror. And refused to grow out my nails or get fake ones, tease up my hair, use a tanning bed or tanner from a bottle, or buy any clothing they thought was "cute."

In their way, they looked great, but it is definitely not MY way.

I absolutely adore swim skirts. I'm a pear shape and my big thighs are my nemesis. Plus, I just love skirts in general and think swim skirts are adorable!

What I wouldn't be caught dead in:

Long, tunic style sweaters. That was my fat girl uniform!

Skinny jeans - I need a flared hem to balance out my hips.

oh yeah skinny jeans. My butt is just too out there, I'd definitely look like an ice cream cone in skinny jeans.

There are also definitely a lot of cute swim skirts/dresses although I've had some trouble swimming in them in the past due to the skirt rising up. I recently bought some swim shorts, those do well.

Skinny jeans- I look like an icecream cone.
supershort anything- I don't like having to sneak up on a waterfountain or stragegize before sitting in a chair, on the other hand I love maxi dresses. I love anything long.

Polyester slacks: there's a woman who gets her nails done at the same place I do and she has those. Her whole outfit looks so fussy, like too perfect. She probably things she looks 'smart', but she comes off as old.

Bolero jackets: Just don't understand it. It doesn't keep me warm or anything, and accents what I don't want accented.

thongs: yes, I can totally feel that, and yes, I've tried multiple sizes/brands...just not for me.

Stirrup Pants: I don't ride horses. This is a throwback from when they were first hoisted upon the public and my mother tried to talk me into them....

Tube tops. Bra size is 34GG. 'Nuf said.

Oh the tube tops and tube dresses. I see those and think, what? Are you crazy. I know a girl who used to insist on wearing those but wore a bra underneath but you saw most of the bra. It didn't look cute.

One of the horrifying fashion moments when I gained weight was when I could no longer fit into junior size pants. Why do womens/misses pants always have about 45 inches of fabric between the crotch and the waistband? Your choices are to either pull the waist up around your neck or have the crotch hang down to your ankles. WTH? :mad: I refuse to ever get so fat that I have wear those again!

Another major dislike is flower print. Why does walking into the plus size section of a store make you feel like you took a wrong turn into a greenhouse? Who decided fat women look fabulous in flowers?

And those weird shorts for old and/or fat women. They're like capris but the leg is cut about 3 foot wider than your actual leg and they usually come in pastels like yellow or pink. Or sweatshirts with cutesy things like puppies or sunflowers or barns.

Pants OR shirts with elastic waistbands. Anything polyester. Plastic shoes.

Me too. :) I think I just have issues with anything a fat woman is "supposed" to wear.

Moon over Miami?

:D at the "ice cream cone." Last year I had a skirted tankini. It was all I could find, and I wore it until I could find a brief bottom. I also had problems with the skirt floating to the top, in a hot tub.

Jeff Foxworthy said, "If you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't, you might be a redneck." :lol: Seriously, where I went to school, girls didn't DARE wear tube tops or tube dresses. They even had problems wearing halter tops, or anything else that easily came unfastened from the back. It didn't matter what the girls looked like. It was the neighborhood boys that caused the problem. Sneak. Tug. AAAAAAUGH!

We must have drastically different body types :) Most jeans are below my belly button or at my belly button. I've found a lot of misses jeans that were way too low. I have a sizeable bottom so they end up not covering my butt entirely.

I've never worn junior sizes.

Oh and elastic... I about cringe when I see elastic on pants.

Anything with huge flowers. Why do they put such big ugly flowers on plus sized clothes? I was at Target yesterday, and that's all they had!

All white. Not only am I a disaster waiting to happen in all white, it just doesn't flatter me.

Anything strapless or (aside from a bra) depends on the girls to hold anything in place.

I also hate strapless.

I was surprised by how many wedding dresses were strapless when I was gown hunting last year. I have pretty arms, but I have some leftover loose skin under my arms - strapless DOES NOT FLATTER.

I would never wear super high waisted jeans.. Like the belly button is my limit. lol