[swtgila]

Oh those are great posts! I am going to start the 10 min. rule immediately CGH! I think that would help a lot. And Stuffed Bunny...you nailed it. Somedays he may have only gone out and worked a couple of hours. He has been home all day doing reports and stuff, but been home....checking email, surfing the net, watching tv, not even needing to unwind. When I get in after what may have been a 10 hr day...same thing. He wants to lounge on the couch and kick back and talk, etc...I just want to unwind and have some time to myself to rid myself of the workday crap. I wanna check email and stuff so if I get my laptop out, I feel guilty and I feel like he is hovering around waiting on time from me. I wanna say, "I know you've been on that computer all day and read fox news and aol headlines, now I wanna do the same." I remind him..."Remember when we were dating, how we didn't get together every night or even talk on the phone everynight b/c work just drained us some days...Well just b/c we live under the same roof doesn't mean that has changed...Some nights I still want me time.". He says he understands but I'm not sure he does. "sigh"

[Raichu]

There are some great suggestions here! Can I just tell you that you are absolutely NOT alone? My Dutch ex is the perfect guy in every way - UNTIL WE HAVE TO SHARE A SPACE TOGETHER. Then I turn into a raging you know what! He's just innocently going about his day in my place while I'm glaring from the corner like I want to tear him apart and not in the good way! If we ever got together for the long haul we would need to establish some guidelines up-front. He's grown up with tons of brothers and I was an only child so he doesn't really get it... but I'm sure it's nothing a little work between the two of you can't fix After all, you made it this far! Good luck and honesty is key here!

[Palestrina]

Believe me I do understand. We didn't live together before we got married and once we did it was quite an adjustment for both of us. He wanted me to wake up with him every morning and help him make lunch etc at 6am. I was like WHAT? I usually dont work in the mornings and work late into the evenings. It took him a while to understand that I can't be awake every day at 6am to make him lunch. Turns out that his father always forced his mother to wake up before he did at 4am just so that he would have coffee ready for him in the morning. Sorry, my husband is a big boy, he can make his own coffee. So glad he finally saw logic and agrees with me.

Again I say, send him out for errands. Give him a list of things to do, guys love feeling useful. You have to assign them chores.

[swtgila]

Thanks Raichu! I don't feel so mean now; or alone. :-) I can ralate to all you said. I agree with you Wannabe, my husband is a big boy. That part I do love about him...He is pretty self sufficient.

I am so thankful for all the advice here. And I know what you mean. Like now. He is just up walking around doing his business. Household things. I am sitting in the recliner typing and reading away, glaring at him from the corner..."Like go away and let me do what I have always done on SUnday mornings..." hahahaha I feel like I need to have a space to go do my thing. Anothe living space tho. Not the bedroom. Somewhere that I can go to read, relax, or do my thing w/o being annoyed by him doing his thing. LOL