CGH, you're right it's not just about the pets. There are many many thing that aren't right, the new batch of kittens was just the final thing.
Even if she didn't smoke and had the extra money my parents would still help out. She in a nasty situtation tax wise due to her ex husband and would be paying that, plus the house needs work and so on. As well, she not big in exta curricular activities. My parents feel that the girls need to get out of the house and be involved in something so they make that a priority for the girls. They feel that it's important to get the girls out and experience some sort of normalicy. For that I admire them.
I really do like this woman, she's definitely in a tough spot. Dome of it's her own making & some of it is a raw deal. It's the poor decisions. Yes it's fine to have a pet, it's not a good idea to have a zoo. It's not the best idea to smoke, but I don't mind if you do, but it's really a bad idea when you may have lung cancer. I don't mind helping, because I do believe that the kids are truely benefiting from it and it's good for them. It's just the non stop poor decisions that are getting under my skin.
Kaplods, social services is already involved, as is the girls school and the mental health resource team and a counselor and a couple of other agencies. Everyone who should be notified, save for the SPCA, is involved. So that's a comfort. The girls are in counseling both at school and via the city, and there is a case worker in involved. I've been interviewed and been over when one of the case workers has been over as well. She has a disability case worker and then there are caseworkers for the kids, and a mental health caseworker as well. Something is being done; which is one of the reasons my family is still involved. It's not enough, but we don't want to back away as we all want those kids to know that they have people who won't give up on them. Obviously its not an ideal situation, and she's not helping it that's for sure! However, if social services deemed it best for the girls to be removed my family would be there to take them in a heart beat. None of the agencies have deemed that a necessary step as of yet. I do hope that it never gets to that, but I am listed as the girls' legal guardian should anything happen. We keep on her, and do our best but she has to see the issue for what it is. I don't think she's fully come to the realization that things are as bad as they are. Maybe we're not helping in that regards, but I just hate to see those kids suffer, because that would just kill me.
The house does smell, and is dirty but it's not a complete bio hazard zone. Thank-fully, there are no fleas or roaches. It's mostly just the smell of having that many animals in such a small space combined with the smoking, then the fabreeze and air fresheners. It's dirty in that the dishes never get moved from the dishwasher to the cupboards and too much furniture. Plus the kids are kids and nothing gets put away. Toys everywhere, books everywhere things have migrated to the floor that kind of thing. Recycling is piled up and the dog food is kept out in plain sight etc. Because of this the house hasn't had a good scrub in ages. It reminds me of a frat house; messy, hasn't been vacuumed recently things aren't put away, dishes in the sink etc. Food isn't sitting rotting on the counter, but things are definitely out if control. But not squalor. Her health problems don't help, but that shouldn't be an excuse. It's tough but there are people involved who will hopefully help to move this ship in the right direction.
What are the laws in your area? In my city a person is not allowed to have more than 5 cats in their household. I know you probably don't want to go any legal route, but honestly that many animals in what are probably poor conditions mixed in with kids probably isn't a healthy environment. Your parents are great people to be helping out for the kids. Have you talked to them about how this is affecting you? I know it's probably hard for them, especially since they're family friends and the kids would initially suffer, but sometimes ya just gotta put your big girl panties on and deal with life. Sounds like this lady needs a reality check.
kathrynk, first I love your avatar, I was a huge my little pony fan back in the day. Had about 100 of them!
The problem with going the legal route, is that my dad also happens to be her lawyer, so that would complicate things for sure. I'm parents know, how this whole thing bugs me and my thoughts about what's its doing to the kids. We talk about it on a regular basis. We're all frustrated and all agree that she's making bad decisions. It almost feels like we're dealing with a teenager, lol.
The kids are signed up for soccer for the summer and my mom just paid the school fees, which supposedly she'll be paid back for, but I think I'll talk to my parents about holding off on anything else for a while. Just to see if she gets better. It's hard to determine the line between helping and enabling, you know? I know we should stop, but at the same time, those poor girls. Life suck sometimes!
its hard especially when its your parents there are two kinds of people in this world the ones that actually help and the ones that feed off the hard working and kind people
Yeah that's tough. It seems like all the proper things are being done so far. I guess all you can do at this point is keep those girls in your thoughts and be there for them, because none of this is their fault. I'll be keeping mom in my thoughts and hoping that she does the right thing by both her kids and your family and straightens up her life. Take this as an opportunity to be thankful for the wonderful, loving parents you have
this is extra info really, lots of areas have spay/neuter vouchers so low income people can have their pets fixed at low cost (I think it's something like $30, probably varies).
Also, many times the ASPCA will not take animals away unless the owners request it and/or the situation is ABSOLUTELY dire. The funds to care for the animals isn't there, and there's a good likelihood the pets taken would be put down. At least this is what I've seen and read about in the NYC area. They might take kittens (easy to get adopted), but if these people only have a handful of pets and are feeding them in general and want to keep them...
it sounds like a heartbreaking situation to be involved in, you're really doing a wonderful thing for those kids, as frustrating as it sounds like it gets sometimes.
SHANTROY I am sorry for the situation your family has been placed in.
You have received a lot of great advice and all I can add to it is that my brother and his wife were "similar in story"....
as I look back now, many years later and having raised his son after he passed away, I can see that there was some type of mental illness there...
He could go to work and do an outstanding job in our drywall trade...most of the time...but the other times he couldn't get out of bed....he and his wife/kids lived in a squalor...
yet he was not raised this way and I and my other brother and sister are not even close to that...
He could put in a solid days work...OR...sit on his butt for months....
he knew it wasn't right but...ah...the excuses and the "I'm going to...'s"
All I can say Kiddo is do whatever it is that you can live with and when you look back years from now at the situation you can be proud of yourself...
