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Old 03-10-2010, 08:56 PM   #1
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Default Baby Fever?

So....sometimes I just feel crazy.

Here's my back story. I am 22. My husband and I started dating in junior high and just kind of never stopped We got married a little over a year ago but have been together almost 8. We are best friends, almost a sickeningly perfect relationship. He is in the Army and his first deployment is starting this June (NOT excited btw).

So for the last four months I have had baby fever bad. I have had people tell me it's because I'm trying to distract myself from the impending deployment, but we just found out about that last month. And I know we have to wait till he comes home because he wants to be here.

So since I know we have to wait, why the heck is it still so bad?? And how did it come out of the blue?? We always have wanted kids but it was always very much so on the back burner and we have always been sooo responsible. Most of our friends have kids now. But I don't think that's it either.

It's like one day I just woke up and decided I wanted to have a baby. And I think he kinda has the fever too, to a lesser extent. We, the super super cautious couple that we are, had even randomly stopped using protection (tmi?). And he started noticing all of the cute baby stuff in stores and pointing it out. So we had "the talk". We are financially capable and emotionally. Heck, we have been together forever. We decided to start trying as soon as he comes home........but I have to keep talking myself out of wanting it NOW.

Am I crazy? Anyone else ever get the baby bug so strongly? I feel like a crazy lady. I was never ever one of those girls that "played house" or picked out names. It just hit me like BAM!
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Old 03-10-2010, 09:03 PM   #2
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Well, it hit me but after we were married for ten years and the biological clock was ticking like a bomb. Honestly, there was times after I became pregnant when I wondered if it was for the best. You must be willing to make unbelievable concessions to be a good parent. It is life altering to put it mildly. I love being a mother but most definitely it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do mentally, physically and emotionally. Thats going some too considering I was raised in ****. Anyway, best of luck. Just make sure of one thing. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER AND UNDOUBTEDLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY ON THE SAME PAGE AND READY!

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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Old 03-10-2010, 09:08 PM   #3
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Thanks for the advice. We are lucky that we are very open about everything, including this. And I don't think either of us would ever push the other one into anything. And we both agree to wait until after this deployment.

I just keep telling myself that this next year gives me ample time to get healthy and save up extra money in preparation. I do want to be at a healthy weight, living a healthy lifestyle BEFORE I get pregnant.

But that doesn't change the fact that I want it now. Maybe I am going crazy...lol
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Old 03-10-2010, 09:45 PM   #4
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Just some thoughts...
Maybe you could get a dog or cat and that can be your interim baby. Could it be that you are worried/afraid to be alone?
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Old 03-10-2010, 10:17 PM   #5
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We already have a cat and a dog. And they are our babies. I dunno about the alone thing. This started way before we found out about the deployment. And thanks to the Army we have been separated before, though the longest has been 9 months before this. The only thing I can think is that maybe it started because several of our close friends have had babies in the last year or so and being around them makes me want one *shrugs* All I know is that despite my urge, we are being responsible and not making any rash decisons about something so important.
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Old 03-10-2010, 10:48 PM   #6
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Sometimes hormones just hit you. I actually had a bought of baby fever when I was in my early 20s and in college. It wasn't that I wanted a baby, but I think my hormones took over.

I'm now in my mid 30s and have no interest in having kids. I'm actually glad I wasn't married or in a position to actually have a child in my early 20s
You can't out-exercise poor eating habits.
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Old 03-10-2010, 11:04 PM   #7
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I had my first child at 20. I was certainly ready. I love being a mom to 3 boys....but in retrospect I wish I would have waited about 10 years. I am happy with my life, dont get me wrong. But in my most honest moments, I admit to wishing I would have enjoyed life as a wife (without the stress of kids) for a while longer. It is interesting as a woman in her 30s with friends the same age, we all feel the same way. In any case, whatever decision you make will work out for you and your spouse. My favorite quote, "It is not always about making the RIGHT decision, sometimes its about making the decision RIGHT".
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:29 PM   #8
I was born this way hey!
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I've had baby fever since I started dating my hubby, I was 17. It's gotten bad over the last few months though. I just feel that I was ment to be a mother. I'm sorta glad that I didn't get pregnant back when I was 17 (we went through 2 deployments, and moving around, and our future with the military is still up in the air) but I wish it would happen now. Seems kinda strange that after being together for 7 years, that I haven't been pregnant yet.

Oh ya..whenever baby fever would hit. I'd always get a new pet, lol!! We can't do that now, because our place is too small. But we do have 4 cats..haha!


"I'm beautiful in my way. 'Cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby. I was Born This Way"~Lady Gaga <3

Last edited by Shopaholic1204; 03-11-2010 at 01:31 PM.
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Old 03-11-2010, 01:40 PM   #9
love it or lose it
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I can relate.. I am 28 and we have been married 3 years. The baby fever has been hitting me hard.. even on TV shows and commercials with babies I get all emotional.. haha.

My DH hasn't been ready for a baby, but just recently he said next year we could start trying.. yay! I didn't want to rush him or pressure him. So I waited for him to give the ok. Has to be an equal decision and it sounds like you guys both want it.

Even though I really want a baby it still scares the crap out of me. Me being a mom?!
♥ K e L L i ♥

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Old 03-11-2010, 03:03 PM   #10
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shortandfluffy It's funny. I want it really bad and it scares the crap out of me too! lol. I think I would be a great mom and I KNOW my DH would be a great dad. Still scary to wake up and realize that you are at that point in your life. Seems like just yesterday we were getting ready for prom.

shopaholic1204 Sounds like you have had a very similar experience to us. We have been together almost eight years. And through all of that we have watched friends meet, start dating, get married, and have kids. lol. We waited till we were both almost 21 to even get married. And I would say the military is definitely the biggest thing holding us back. They are just gone so much that it makes it hard. I know alot of families do it, but he wants to be around for everything. Which is why we were thinking of starting to try when he gets back. He will have a year and half left in his contract. And we are pretty sure he is going to get out after that.
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Old 03-11-2010, 03:14 PM   #11
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I waited until I turned 40 and got the baby fever. My family was in shock because I was always saying my body isn't a baby making machine and I didn't want kids. Well I have one and she is an absolute joy. I will agree with Thighsbegone that it is LIFE ALTERING!!! But the good thing is I had done everything I wanted to do. My husband and I found out we were pregnant two weeks before we finished marriage counseling. I'm so very happy I waited.
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Old 03-11-2010, 03:17 PM   #12
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I went through the baby fever around age 27/28. So I actually took care of a friend's 1.5-year-old child all day and overnight and a bit of the morning of the next day.

I could not WAIT to give this child back to her mother the next day! In fact, I think I was supposed to bring her back at noon and I showed up at around 9 am lol.

I mean, the child was awesome, very well behaved, a sweetheart. But I cannot believe HOW MUCH WORK it was. And I had her less than 48 hours. This completely cured my baby fever!!

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Old 03-11-2010, 03:20 PM   #13
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I never wanted kids when I was a teen. I am 26 now and for the last 3 years or so, it's been on my mind a lot. Something in us just changes I guess.

The thing is, I don't even menstruate. I don't know if it's just obesity or possibly PCOS (I have not consulted a doctor about this). Fingers are crossed that my weight loss will fix this. If not, It's probably going to break my heart. We'll see.

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Old 03-11-2010, 03:37 PM   #14
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It hit me at age 40
SIX YEARS at maintenance weight!

My very long weight loss story

"I saw an angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free."
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Old 03-11-2010, 03:55 PM   #15
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Honestly, I would get the baby fever off and on especially when work was just horrible. I'd think "I could be a full time mom and not have to deal with all this and I'd be a good mom."

We kept putting it off until one day the choice was taken from us for medical reasons and in retrospect I'm glad we didn't have kids. We are both happy with who we are and what we have.

But also take this as a warning...if you really want kids don't put it off too long. You will never be ready. You'll never have enough money, your house/apartment is never big enough, it will never be the right time in your career. Well, in this case are you both being deployed or just hubby? It's hard to be pregnant and have a baby alone while he's gone depending on how long he's gone.

A good way to get over the baby fever is to borrow some one's kid for a long weekend. An hour or two doesn't work, it needs to be overnight or longer. I know, they all say "it will be different when it's yours"

Good luck
49 years old, 5' highest weight-199lbs . Started SBD Jan 2004, lost 47 pounds in 6 months, then slowly gained it all back.

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