4ozs softened best butter
6ozs brown sugar
4 large free range eggs
1lb mixed dried fruit
6oz. chopped nuts
juice of 1 lemon
1 level tsp baking powder
1 level tsp salt
Bottle of whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check quality.
Take a large bowl.
Re-sample the whiskey to ensure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn on the mixerer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl, chuck in the dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loos with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsiscency.
Next sift two cups of salt, or something.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find, who cares?.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turnerer.
Throw the bowl out of the window, wind up the cat and put the alarm clock out, check the whiskey again and go to bed