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Is this because I'm fat? (warning....a little crude)

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Old 11-20-2009, 12:43 PM   #1
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Default Is this because I'm fat? (warning....a little crude)

lol so...i never seem to get good dating opportunities. And, lately, I've been so focused on my new job and health that I dont really want any. However, sometimes i wonder about what it is about me that causes this recurring pattern with men.
Either I get the "lets just be really good friends. we have so much fun together" or "hey, baby, wanna __". The only guys that express an interest do it in an overly sexual and, frankly, gross way! I get these lewd comments OFTEN!!! So I was at the gym this AM and a guy tells me "hope this doesnt offend but I would love to eat all over that *insert another word for cat* of yours." Then I told him I wasnt interested and he said "You know you gonna change yer mind one day. I'm like a trash compactor. I suck it ALL out" (i'm not even sure I get the analogy....do trash compactor's suck?...did he mean garbage disposal?... but...whatever...) I dont consider myself to be a prude but guys like this sure make me feel like one! I mean, how is that appropriate to say to someone you just met? yuck.
Is this a chubby chaser thing? Do you guys think this will become less common when I lose weight? just curious.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:13 PM   #2
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If some cretin in a gym said something like that to me, I'd be liable to slap him across the face!
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:15 PM   #3
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(i'm not even sure I get the analogy....do trash compactor's suck?...did he mean garbage disposal?... but...whatever...)
I just love when someone thinks they're being so clever and they make the stupidest mistakes.

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I mean, how is that appropriate to say to someone you just met? yuck.
It isn't. Unfortunately, we're in an era in which censoring yourself isn't considered necessary or desirable anymore.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:19 PM   #4
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I wonder how often these guys actually "score" , they are just repulsive to me.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:20 PM   #5
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If someone said something like that to me at the gym, I would tell him that I'm not interested (like you did) and then I would report him to the manager. Immediately. That's disgusting and you have the right to go to the gym without being subjected to that crap. Totally inappropriate.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:25 PM   #6
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I don't think it's a chubby chaser thing. I've had it happen a couple of times and at different sizes. I don't appear too overweight right now. It is even worse when trying on-line dating since they are "behind the screen". Two messages in and you get, "So, ya wanna ****?" Needless to say, I got real good at the Delete Message/Block User function before I gave up on the whole deal.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:27 PM   #7
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If someone said something like that to me at the gym, I would tell him that I'm not interested (like you did) and then I would report him to the manager. Immediately. That's disgusting and you have the right to go to the gym without being subjected to that crap. Totally inappropriate.
I agree! That is unbelievable! What makes that jerk think it's okay to say that to you?

That being said, I have been harassed at work by co-workers. I did report one of them. They fined him and in retaliation he slashed two of my tires. Just be careful out there.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:28 PM   #8
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I've had my share of these too, but I've also heard the same stories from women of ALL sizes.

It does seem to happen more in places and situations where an idiot might think a woman might be more receptive. Bars, gyms, and the internet are such places (because they are spots where singles often go to try to hook up).

I can't believe these guys get a positive response very often (I mean what woman would find that attractive). My guess is that their social skills are so terrible that they don't understand why women reject them - they just don't understand subtle. They fantasize about women approaching THEM that way, so they never figure out why they're being rejected.

Not at all a reflection of you, just them.
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:53 PM   #9
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In my opinion (and some might disagree), I think guys assume for some reason that overweight women are more insecure and therefore "easy". I know that sounds awful and trust me, it infuriates me, but I've just seen it so much and I've been subjected to these assumptions so much that I've come to that conclusion. And I've actually had a guy admit that it's basically true.

Sure, there are the gross and completely indiscriminate guys who will talk nasty to any woman they meet, but if you pay attention, you'll probably notice that it happens more to overweight women. It sucks, but I think it's true.

I actually get really embarassed when guys are forward like that! I probably would have turned bright red and cried or something...it just makes me so uncomfortable! YUCK.
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:01 PM   #10
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thats my problem! I get so shy and embarrassed that Im not firm with them. yes, I told him i'm not interested but only after blushing and laughing nervously....i hope i dont run into him again....its the gym at my apt complex so it was just the 2 of us working out in this room together...can anyone say "awkward"?
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:10 PM   #11
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Man, that's a little scary that you might be alone with him again.
Have you got a friend you can take?
He sounds pretty creepy to me.
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:15 PM   #12
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I can tell you from experience that there are women out there that say the same things...different anatomy of course It has happened to me a couple of times

Having spent my entire life around construction workers of all trades, and for the most part high school educated at best, I can tell you there are a lot of guys out there that think remarks like that turn women on. They get it from reading it in those "nasty" type magazines and porn flicks...of course on those instances it works

Women are different than men...no kidding! ....a lot of guys like hearing that stuff....I know I enjoyed the "extra" attention (although at the same time thought it wasn't appropriate)...

well until my girlfriend/wife bonked me on the head when they found out
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:17 PM   #13
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In my opinion (and some might disagree), I think guys assume for some reason that overweight women are more insecure and therefore "easy".
This may be true, but again I think it's just one of the situations in which a guy with almost no social skills tries to approach a woman he thinks he might have a chance (even the sorriest guy isn't going to want to admit to himself that nearly every woman on the planet is too good for him). He picks a woman he think he might have a chance with - a woman who is drunk, a woman he knows has dated jerks and abusive men in the past (which may be one reasons some women seem to attract abusive men - word travels fast in the jerk pool), a woman who obviously isn't stable (when I was young and in social service, I always wondered why my craziest clients had no trouble attracting men), unattractive women (again in social service, it seemed that women with no teeth were extremely popular, in the instant-hook-up set). I never understood how anyone could move in with someone they met only a day or two prior, but there are a lot of desperate people out there.

These guys may only approach women they think they may have a chance with. These aren't guys though who would approach any other woman differently. They're avoiding women they KNOW will reject them, but if they had any brains or social skills, they would be much better skilled with their approach. Insecure women often can be easily seduced, but these guys are too clumsy and stupid (luckily) to be able to pull off a good con.
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:19 PM   #14
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I can tell you there are a lot of guys out there that think remarks like that turn women on. They get it from reading it in those "nasty" type magazines and porn flicks..
Yep, that's what I was going to say. They see it in porn flicks or reading those stupid fictional Penthouse stories and think that's the way it works in real life. I'm going to guess that men who say things like that are men with very little actual relationship OR sexual experience.
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Old 11-20-2009, 02:34 PM   #15
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Those are the same guys that if they do "meet" someone and share it with the guys at lunch/breaks....

they use phrases like...

we swapped spit...

classy...
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