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Dating - Did I scare him off??

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Old 07-02-2009, 10:22 AM   #1
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Default Dating - Did I scare him off??

I've been talking to a guy I met online for about a month now. We talk several times a week. He's been sending me text messages about going out with me and talks about it on the phone. So Monday he sent me a text about it and I replied to the text asking him when our first date is. He never texted me back. I sent him a myspace message and he replied that he'd been having problems with his blackberry. I replied to that and said that it was ok and asked him if he was serious about going out. He never replied to that message, but he has read it. He hasn't called this week and I haven't called him either.

I can't figure out why this guy has been pursuing me for a month and when I finally say yes, he disappears. Any insight??
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:39 AM   #2
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Yup, according to my Douchelish-English dictionary, what he is saying is that he loves to flirt, but doesn't want to follow through. This doesn't have anything to do with you. You didn't "scare him off" -- he had no intention of actually following through in the first place. And I'll bet $100 that he is doing the same to others while he is doing this to you.

And if you think about it, if he's like this BEFORE even a date, do you REALLY want to invest alot of time and energy in this relationship? I doubt that his character will change, and your brief experience should be enough to let you get a feel for what this guy is about.

Relationships are hard. And I may be wrong. But I've met alot of guys who love the "chase" but not the "follow-through". And in my humble experience, these guys MAY actually follow through but their hearts are generally not in it. And I wound up getting hurt. So my personal rule was: if he was attracted to me, he'll actually SHOW it, even if he IS a guy and doesn't think like a woman. What I mean is this: I THOUGHT I was dating a great guy -- athletic, hockey player, handsome, funny, but who only called me and followed through with plans at his convenience. I met my DH after dating the hockey player for 2 months. My DH wasn't my "type" but was really nice, polite, and as friends (we all hung out in the same group) was actually concerned about what I thought and felt. Well, one weekend I was waiting around for hockey player to call because the week previous he said that we should go out Saturday night. I was still waiting on SATURDAY for the plans....future DH called and asked me if I wanted to go for a bike ride. DH showed up, the phone rang on our way out, I thought it was hockey player calling, but future DH said that IF IT WAS IMPORTANT WHOMEVER WOULD CALL BACK, so I didn't run to the phone. Well, future DH and I had a great bike ride. And hockey player never called back. In fact, he avoided me for the next week. The next time I saw hockey player, he was with another girl and I found out that he had been seeing HER for the entire time we were "together" -- he just went out with whomever was available at the time and since I hadn't answered the phone, it was my own "fault" for not going out with him on Saturday night...we never even really "broke up", either. Things just sort of ended...
Result - I have a great, GREAT DH. And hockey player? No idea what happened...



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Chin up! You gotta kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince.

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Old 07-02-2009, 10:51 AM   #3
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Yup, according to my Douchelish-English dictionary, what he is saying is that he loves to flirt, but doesn't want to follow through. This doesn't have anything to do with you. You didn't "scare him off" -- he had no intention of actually following through in the first place. And I'll bet $100 that he is doing the same to others while he is doing this to you.

Chin up! You gotta kiss alot of frogs before you find your prince.
Yes, I agree with this completely. Just let him go, he's obviously not worth the time.
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:56 AM   #4
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Agreeing with my fellow chickadees. Something is up with him and regardless of what is it doesn't sound good.
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:01 AM   #5
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Thanks chickies!!! That's what I was thinking too, and one of my guy friends told me the same thing. I'm going to delete him from my page now.
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:06 AM   #6
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The right one is out there...this one just isn't IT...and he'll probably call you in a few weeks and try to keep the flirt on...sigh...

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Old 07-02-2009, 11:44 AM   #7
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Yup, according to my Douchelish-English dictionary
That made me LOL - even the dogs looked at me like I was crazy! Thanks for the chuckle!
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:48 AM   #8
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Thanks chickies!!! That's what I was thinking too, and one of my guy friends told me the same thing. I'm going to delete him from my page now.
Yup, listen to the guy friend. They can see right through other guys. Just like we see right through other women, while the boys still think they're so sweet .
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Old 07-02-2009, 01:35 PM   #9
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Married.
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Old 07-02-2009, 04:21 PM   #10
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Sounds like he is unavailable and likes playing online. As soon as the women get a clue or say "yes" he runs for the hills.
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Old 07-02-2009, 05:35 PM   #11
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Or he's just not that into you. he could also only be in it for the chase. Either way, move on.
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Old 07-02-2009, 08:50 PM   #12
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Married.

That's kinda what I was thinking, too.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:11 PM   #13
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It's not you, it's him.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:06 PM   #14
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He's playing...move on!!!! And you're not alone...I seem to scare them off quite frequently as well...LOL.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:29 PM   #15
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Married.
Lol....my thoughts too!
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