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Old 05-18-2009, 01:03 PM   #1
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Default Rant-rant-rant! Let it all out!

I know this has been done before, but I find it time to start a new rant thread. Feel free to add your own rant, complaint, whine or whatever and get it out of your system early this week!

So, here's mine: I am so incredibly sick and tired of my DH's ex complaining about DH and me. They have been divorced for over 24 years and their one son is now 28, married, and has his own kids, but I find out this weekend that she still calls me names to our grandchildren and tells people untrue things about me and DH. She, at one point, even told my step-son that I had broken up their marriage (untrue, as I didn't even meet DH until they'd been divorced over a year) and told him he had to start hitting me and be mean to me to make me leave (he was 9 at the time). Now, she's started on the grandkids and trying to make them think I'm mean and witchy. My DIL is very angry at her because of this, because she can see that none of it's true. I know the ex keeps doing this to keep the focus off her and her messed up life (6th husband is an abusive loser, 17yo daughter just had a baby and they didn't even know she was pregnant when she was living in the same house, 29yo daughter is again in jail, and the ex's teeth and hair are falling out from meth use) but it really burns me that for some reason I'm still the 'cause of her problems' and she's trying to drag the innocent grandkids into it!!!!!

There-that's today's rant and it does feel better to just get it out and be done with it. Thanks, you all!
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Old 05-18-2009, 07:52 PM   #2
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:12 AM   #3
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Here's my rant:


My hubby has been in the Navy since for almost 6 years. He has one more year left. And we've decided that we're done with the Navy. He's seriously unhappy and miserable, he's ready to be done with it. I really hate seeing him this way. I want him to get a job that will make him happy. I wanna see him happy ALL the time, like how he used to be. Anyways..when he gets out of the Navy, we're going to be moving back to Arizona. All my friends in Az are very happy about that. My grandparents are happy..My dh's family is happy.

Now here's the thing. I have some friends who are totally against this whole idea. They tell me all the time what a huge mistake this will be. They say we'll lose our house, and he'll lose his job and blah blah blah. They hate it in AZ. They always feel the need to remind me how much it sucks there, and how much its changed since I've been there last. (I haven't been back since 2007) They're always asking all the time if we're serious about moving back. I used to answer them, but now I've just started ignoring it..and avoiding all convos about it.

And now, my cousin has started in on it!!! She was all for it..telling me how happy our grandparents are gonna be, because they miss me. But now she's all like..."hasnt the Navy been good to you guys? And why would you wanna give up free insurence?!?" blah blah blah Okay, first of all..I chose not answer her. Because I explained to her before about how dh was unhappy and all that stuff. But she just WONT QUIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wish people would stop telling me their opinions. I didn't ask for it. I try to avoid all convos involving it, but they keep bringing it up. If my hubby wants out of the Navy, then how does this effect your life? IT DOESNT!! It effects OUR lives!!!

We've talked about everything. We have backup plans. We know its not gonna be easy..but crap, its not easy now!!! We dont expect anything to ever be easy. We just wanna be together and be happy for once. This is like the 2nd year in the 4 years we've been married, that we've been able to spend together. We're very thankful for all the opportunities and experiences the Navy has given us. We will never forget it. My hubby dedicated 6 years of his life to the Navy so far (next year will be 7). He wants the next chapter in our life to start. I think we deserve that. Why cant people understand that? Why do they have to keep telling us what to do!?!?! Or give us unwanted opinions, that honestly..make me feel like the lowest person in the world?? I just wanna cry from all the stuff they've said to me.

I wish I could tell them all, that if you're name isnt Frances or Alfonso..then you dont get a say in what we decide to do with OUR life. But it will probably just go in one ear, and out the other. So really..whats the point. I just delete the emails, ignore the comments, and avoid the topics. I just dont know how much longer I'll be able to avoid seeing them. I just KNOW we'll be talking about it in person, and getting fights. And I dont wanna fight with my friends and cousin again.

I just wanna scream and cry!!
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:23 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shopaholic1204 View Post
Here's my rant:


My hubby has been in the Navy since for almost 6 years. He has one more year left. And we've decided that we're done with the Navy. He's seriously unhappy and miserable, he's ready to be done with it. I really hate seeing him this way. I want him to get a job that will make him happy. I wanna see him happy ALL the time, like how he used to be. Anyways..when he gets out of the Navy, we're going to be moving back to Arizona. All my friends in Az are very happy about that. My grandparents are happy..My dh's family is happy.

Now here's the thing. I have some friends who are totally against this whole idea. They tell me all the time what a huge mistake this will be. They say we'll lose our house, and he'll lose his job and blah blah blah. They hate it in AZ. They always feel the need to remind me how much it sucks there, and how much its changed since I've been there last. (I haven't been back since 2007) They're always asking all the time if we're serious about moving back. I used to answer them, but now I've just started ignoring it..and avoiding all convos about it.

And now, my cousin has started in on it!!! She was all for it..telling me how happy our grandparents are gonna be, because they miss me. But now she's all like..."hasnt the Navy been good to you guys? And why would you wanna give up free insurence?!?" blah blah blah Okay, first of all..I chose not answer her. Because I explained to her before about how dh was unhappy and all that stuff. But she just WONT QUIT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wish people would stop telling me their opinions. I didn't ask for it. I try to avoid all convos involving it, but they keep bringing it up. If my hubby wants out of the Navy, then how does this effect your life? IT DOESNT!! It effects OUR lives!!!

We've talked about everything. We have backup plans. We know its not gonna be easy..but crap, its not easy now!!! We dont expect anything to ever be easy. We just wanna be together and be happy for once. This is like the 2nd year in the 4 years we've been married, that we've been able to spend together. We're very thankful for all the opportunities and experiences the Navy has given us. We will never forget it. My hubby dedicated 6 years of his life to the Navy so far (next year will be 7). He wants the next chapter in our life to start. I think we deserve that. Why cant people understand that? Why do they have to keep telling us what to do!?!?! Or give us unwanted opinions, that honestly..make me feel like the lowest person in the world?? I just wanna cry from all the stuff they've said to me.

I wish I could tell them all, that if you're name isnt Frances or Alfonso..then you dont get a say in what we decide to do with OUR life. But it will probably just go in one ear, and out the other. So really..whats the point. I just delete the emails, ignore the comments, and avoid the topics. I just dont know how much longer I'll be able to avoid seeing them. I just KNOW we'll be talking about it in person, and getting fights. And I dont wanna fight with my friends and cousin again.

I just wanna scream and cry!!
Francie -- Well here is what I think you and your hubby should do: JUST TEASIN!!! BIG I say tell them to worry about their own lives and quit worrying about yours! If its what you two wanna do, then like you said its your lives, not theirs! But I can understand the frustration. Just know that I'm here if ya ever need to chat or rant or whatever. lol.
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:37 AM   #5
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I seriously doubt that the entire state of Arizona has changed so dramatically as all that in two years.

My rant: stupid dang company bake sale! I feel a personal compulsion to contribute, after all, it's for a good cause (proceeds benefit the American Heart Association), but I am one of those people who constantly tasted and pecks at the baked goods and their components as they bake. I've consumed way more fudge than is reasonable for one person, and I'm having to slap my own hands away from the coconut-chocolate cookies. BOO on temptation!
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Old 05-19-2009, 08:58 AM   #6
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Rosie & Francie- I know how you both feel and glad you were able to let some frustration out!

Kira-thanks for the words of support!
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Old 07-02-2009, 09:34 PM   #7
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I know this is an old thread but I couldn't think of anywhere else to complain about this....

Me and my hubby have been married a little over a year. He is in the AF and we are in Idaho as his first duty station. I got a job offer shortly after arriving here and once I accepted, I had to fly to connecticut for a 2 week training session for this job. When I returned, I was happily surfing the internet when I go to google something, beginning with the letter 'f' the previous searched list pops up with "free up skirt pictures" I then decide to do a bit of snooping and find that the entire time I was gone, there were a BUNCH of disgusting and inappropriate web sites and pictures and movies downloaded. Now, we'd been dating for around 3 years before we got married and NEVER once did i suspect or even know that this was a quite frequent hobby of my Dh's. Silly me....I'd thought he was different....

My first reaction was MASSIVE depression and all my insecurities flooded my brain and just made me feel unloved, cheated on, unttractive, and so on and so fourth.....Since then we've had discussion after discussion after discussion about this to where we just don't even talk about it anymore. Basically, he refuses to stop looking at those things even though he knows it upsets me. He thinks that there is NOTHING wrong with what he is doing and that I just invade his privacy when I find those things on his computer and I shouldn't be trying to control him or change him. Every single night when I go to bed before him, I wonder what he's doing on that darned computer....every time some chick shows up on tv or in a movie I wonder if he's undressing her in his mind....it just depresses me....
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Old 07-02-2009, 10:32 PM   #8
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Here's my rant! Decided I am too friggin big, especially considering my height 5'2, fam med history - diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure - so I say I'm gonna get in gear. Cleaned out the fridge, ate clean all day, worked out at the gym and came home to find......a big FAT birthday cake for my daughter in the kitchen that the EX dropped off. Why can't he do the cake thing at HIS house?!?!? no good rotten stinkin, such and such......
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:09 PM   #9
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I want it to rain!!!!
It's so hot and humid here in Arizona right now. It's been cloudy and we've had some thunder for almost two weeks, but it's been spitting rain. the kind of rain that puts little dusty spots on your just washed and waxed car.
I sleep in the daytime and it's very hard to be comfortable when it's 80F in the house! and the sheets feel all damp from the humidity and your sweating all the time....yes, it is impossible to sleep. I've been so tired this week, worse than normal tired.

And it sucks at work. You think that a big store like that would have good AC that they would turn on at night...Hello! this is Arizona.. it's freakin hot at night too. I don't wanna drip sweat for 8 hours anymore. I want it to rain, to cool this place off for a while. I mean a good rain with big fat rain drops.. not the sissy arizona spittle. I want it to drizzle for hours and hours until their's puddles and the ground is muddy and the streets turn to little streams.
I'm tired of all this teasing...you don't tease desert dwellers this way!!
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:48 PM   #10
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Wow Eve.... that sounds horrible. *hugs* I can only imagine how insecure you're feeling right now.... *sigh*

I'm the same way in my insecurities, even though I've come to realize through having tons of guy friends (many, many guy best friends over the years) and through the incredibly close and communicative relationship I have with my boy now (we were close friends for years before we got together, that helped with the communication I think) that its just something guys do. Most of the tme, though they may be aroused by other women, hot women at that.... it's just something to look at and tweak the senses. When it comes down to who they want to be with, who they love... who they want to come home to at night.... its you. And looking at women, at porn, etc... is just a thing. *shakes head*

I dunno.... its weird... but I've come to kind of understand its just something they do. Men are, after all, definitely different from women. As long as my guy doesn't cheat or truly seem unhappy with me..... then, hey... *shrug*

Good luck though chica... I know it's rough.
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Old 07-02-2009, 11:48 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EveLHaelf View Post
I know this is an old thread but I couldn't think of anywhere else to complain about this....

Me and my hubby have been married a little over a year. He is in the AF and we are in Idaho as his first duty station. I got a job offer shortly after arriving here and once I accepted, I had to fly to connecticut for a 2 week training session for this job. When I returned, I was happily surfing the internet when I go to google something, beginning with the letter 'f' the previous searched list pops up with "free up skirt pictures" I then decide to do a bit of snooping and find that the entire time I was gone, there were a BUNCH of disgusting and inappropriate web sites and pictures and movies downloaded. Now, we'd been dating for around 3 years before we got married and NEVER once did i suspect or even know that this was a quite frequent hobby of my Dh's. Silly me....I'd thought he was different....

My first reaction was MASSIVE depression and all my insecurities flooded my brain and just made me feel unloved, cheated on, unttractive, and so on and so fourth.....Since then we've had discussion after discussion after discussion about this to where we just don't even talk about it anymore. Basically, he refuses to stop looking at those things even though he knows it upsets me. He thinks that there is NOTHING wrong with what he is doing and that I just invade his privacy when I find those things on his computer and I shouldn't be trying to control him or change him. Every single night when I go to bed before him, I wonder what he's doing on that darned computer....every time some chick shows up on tv or in a movie I wonder if he's undressing her in his mind....it just depresses me....
I know this situation can be very hard. If you want someone to vent to who might understand or someone whose been there and currently living through it to bounce ideas off of or something let me know.
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:05 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EveLHaelf View Post
I know this is an old thread but I couldn't think of anywhere else to complain about this....
Didn't want to quote the whole thing. Eve, I agree with Starfishkitty 100%. I've had this experience and even now porn can make me feel insecure. Really and honestly it is a thing guys do. That is it. Just like how men notice women in public. You could be in the most beautiful marriage, perfect couple, and still that man will look at other women. They literally cannot help it and it has nothing to do with how they feel about you.

My boyfriend likes to share porn with me. He will find pictures lol..that he thinks I like (laughing about it) and I'm not really that into it. There is a part of my boyfriend who looks at porn for himself, undresses women, god forbid if there are going to be BOOBS in a movie we are watching or a sex scene because there is no escaping the comments and OHHHHS! lol Then there is this side of him that looks at porn because he somehow, and I don't understand porn or this, he isn't looking at the women per say. He is looking at what they are doing and then imagining that he and I are doing those things.

Porn can make me feel very insecure and when I'm feeling like that I say something. In fact recently I didn't want to partake in "porn" for awhile and my boyfriend made a mental note and said "no problem." A part of me goes "omg that is what he wants. look at her skin (i have a skin disease), look at her she has no fat;" and that part is a woman response.

My boyfriend has a healthy relationship with porn. It is something that he does do and will always do...lol even when he shares it, but it is healthy. It turns into something of a problem with a guy is obsessed with porn. Meaning they would rather be with porn than with you. We are talking like 24/7 porn. And besides, there is porn for women now. Women got tired of the crap out there and created their own porn. I don't like it, but hey that is me lol.
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Old 07-03-2009, 12:01 PM   #13
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Francie, don't let those people get you down or stressed. Whatever happens when you go back to Arizona, the two of you can make whatever decisions you need to make to be happy.

For some people, moving to NY is a disaster, I love it here. It's not always easy (like you say, for you it's not always in the situation you're currently in), and it has its plusses and minuses.

Hey, Eve, I obviously can't speak for every person that looks at porn, or what's in their heads, but I do think there's so much fantasy involved with it. some of it is so over the top and funny. I think it can be addicting for some, they like the arousal.

I've compared my body to some of theirs (the thin, young, gorgeous ones) and feel like oh, no! is that what guys want??, but if you look around at some of that stuff, there are all types of women's bodies, every size and age too.

Plus, when I look at nice looking guys, and, ahem, think about them maybe I personally don't compare bf with them, it's my fantasy.
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Old 07-03-2009, 02:40 PM   #14
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My rant is that even though I have lost 33 pounds, not one person has said anything. I realize my at my weight, 33 pounds maybe isn't that noticeable...but I'm wearing smaller clothes and I know my face is thinner. *shrug*...maybe a few more pounds will do it!
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Old 07-03-2009, 03:24 PM   #15
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Granted I am only down 10 pounds but I can't believe I look FATTER. Honestly, FATTER? My back titties were so smooth and now they're just hanging and flapping.

Also, I have family members who were perfectly content with the status quo of me as the black sheep fat girl and they are now very unhappy. Apparently I'm a big snob because I go to the gym and I am eating less fast food.
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