And this isn't about the calories!
Okay, so I had a pretty isolated childhood, with a bipolar single mom who was convinced that everyone around her was constantly judging her. Plus we lived out in the country, so no one ever came over to our house. Like, ever! So I definitely didn't grow up learning how to host people or throw dinner parties or anything. But I've always wanted to learn! Some of our friends are so gracious and amazing at having people over... it always feels so warm and welcoming at their homes, and they don't seem to be stressed out at all.
But whenever I try to have people over, ugh. Everything from asking them if they'd like to come over to deciding what to serve to the conversation around the table just feels SO awkward and stressful for me. I don't understand it, when we go over to someone else's house I feel great, no problem feeling comfortable and holding up my end of the conversation. For starters, I'm not a great cook, and while I don't try to make anything fancy (a few months ago we had a friend over for grilled ham and cheese, literally), I still manage to overthink it and screw it up. I just feel like they're not having a good time, it's not "fun", I don't know how to relax and make them feel at home.
Sigh. So of course I just asked some friends over for dinner this weekend. Already I feel really weird about it, even though it's something I really wanted to do. The last time they came over, I made a boring pesto pasta that was cold by the time I served it, and in a weird bowl that definitely didn't feel "casual". The only good part of the meal was the bread they brought over.
Does anyone else stress out about this stuff? Am I screwed cause I didn't get to learn it from my mom? Help!! :P